The Top Anal Sex Myths: Debunked!
Anal sex is a divisive topic. Some people love it, some people hate it and some people just dare not try it.
If you have already formed your opinion of love, hate or meh through having a go at it, then by all means, you do you and continue to enjoy or avoid anal sex at your whim!
However, if you are someone who has yet to step into the waters, have a think about why you haven't made that leap.
Is it because you feel you need more education before making the decision to say yes? Is it because you've heard rumours of horror stories and are now vehemently put off? Or perhaps you just don't see how it could be pleasurable?
If you answered 'yes' to any of those questions, then here I am to offer some help and debunk common anal sex myths and misconceptions...
Myth: It will hurt no matter what, so endure the pain
Truth: As with anything to do with your body, pain is a sign to stop! Yes, your anal muscles may put up some resistance to welcoming a foreign object inside, but this merely shows you need to do more preparation before you can successfully take something of the size you're attempting at that moment.
The safe and pain-free way to go about anal play is to start small, with something roughly the size of a finger (an actual finger is great for this, obviously).
Then, work your way gradually to things of a larger circumference. Take your time, and if you're in a rush, perhaps choose a different time to have your anal fun – pressure and stress of being on a limited time can make your body tense up even more than normal, which is exactly the opposite of what you want with anal sex.
From the very first attempt at penetration, right until the end of the act, I cannot emphasise enough: lube, lube, glorious lube! The anus has very little natural lubrication of its own, so you have to add some yourself, as it makes all the difference for comfortable and safe anal play.
There are even lubes specially designed for anal use, which tend to be thicker and provide more of a cushioning for entry than standard lubes.
Myth: Only gay men enjoy anal sex
Truth: Whether or not you enjoy the sensation of anal sex has nothing to do with your sexuality or gender. It is just another form of sexual experimentation, another exploration of pleasure, just like any other type of sex. People of all genders and all sexualities can benefit from anal sex.
For men, through this entrance is the easiest way to find the prostate, considered the "male G-spot". Stimulation of this type can bring increased intensity of orgasms and even result in an orgasm purely from the prostate alone!
Lovehoney sell a wide range of toys for all budgets to accommodate this, including butt plugs, dildos and vibrators, often specially shaped with the intention of reaching this cherished spot. Just a couple of very highly rated toys on offer are the Lovehoney Booty Buddy Silicone Butt Plug at the budget end of the spectrum, or the Lelo Loki Luxury USB Rechargeable Vibrating Prostate Massager if you want to splash out.
For those of us without the prostate, we can still have a lot of fun with anal play, since the opening of the anus contains an abundance of nerve endings, and there is even speculation that the G-spot can be hit from behind with anal penetration.
Basically, don't ever believe that the only reason women (or anyone!) will engage in anal sex is to please their partner – anal sex can feel awesome for EVERYBODY when done right.
Strap-ons can be a hugely powerful tool in exploring anal play when the person doing the penetrating doesn't possess their own penis. Used by hetero and homosexual couples, this type of toy makes sure that literally anyone can have the means to give and receive anal pleasure at their whim.
Myth: Anal sex is completely unhygienic
Truth: Anal sex gets a bad rep when it comes to hygiene.
Yes, we are all aware of what hole we are entering and that there is a potential risk of something "unsavoury" happening, but remember, that is all it is - a POTENTIAL risk.
There are potential risks involving all sex acts, so this is really not much different.
Normally during anal sex, penetration doesn't happen deep enough to stir anything from inside you. Obviously, every little helps, so beforehand perhaps try to eat less "risky" foods and keep your own basic hygiene up to scratch, but the majority of the time you shouldn't need to do anything else really.
Going from anal sex straight into vaginal sex is a no-no, due to the bacteria in the anus that can disrupt the environment of the vagina, but that isn't because of "uncleanliness" per se, more-so keeping your body's general bacteria and fluids to their own areas.
I personally have never done anything more than the bare minimum before anal sex, and have done anal sex without really having any prior plan of doing it, and I have never had an issue, truly.
Mental relaxation is the key to good anal sex, and, of course, if doing some extra sprucing gives you that mental relaxation and you wish to do it for your own peace of mind, why not try out an anal douche, such as the Lovehoney BASICS Anal Douche?
They are easy to use, you can use it whenever you need to, and peace of mind will make the whole experience much smoother.
Myth: Anal sex will stretch you out, causing irreparable damage
Truth: No. This is a rumour that has been around for decades and frankly just isn't true.
In the most absolute, extreme cases (I'm talking if you were to have anal sex every single day for hours at a time), then hey, maybe it might leave a bit of a mark.
But for a normal (even an above-average amount!) of anal sex using toys or penises of average proportions, you are in no danger of there being a permanent stretch.
The anus bounces back to its original circumference pretty quick afterwards and it would be pretty much impossible to tell whether someone is having anal sex, or how frequently, by looking at their body parts.
Myth: Condoms are pointless for anal sex
Truth: A grey area. Yes the risk of pregnancy is negligible (though still always a risk!), but that's not the only prevention point of condoms.
They are a barrier method of contraception so also prevent the spread of STIs. STIs can still be spread via the anus to the receiver or through the urethra to the giver, if male in particular.
Plus, if you were one of the super unlucky and rare to people to have an "accident" of some form during anal sex, I think we'd all feel a tiny bit better if there was a barrier to it. The all-important lube can sometimes be easier to apply with a condom in place also.
This is something that is neither completely true or false, it more depends on your personal circumstance. If you are in a long-term relationship, have sex of all varieties regularly, rarely use contraception, know each other's sexual health history and are basically completely fine with taking those risks, then your decision might be to forgo condoms and that's OK.
If you do not have one steady partner, have never had anal sex before, use condoms anyway or feel a little bit shady about your sexual partner's sexual health, then maybe it might be best to just put one on and feel more reassured.
Pretty much any condoms will do the job, just make sure they are compatible with your lube of choice, or go for extra-lubricated condoms, like these Mates Skyn Extra-Lubricated Non-Latex Condoms to cut out a bit of the work.
Blogger supercutesecret is an established sex and relationships blogger, who studies Maths & Statistics at the University of Warwick.
You may also like: