1. Mess-Free Sploshing Kit

    Valentine’s day is simple enough in principle. Flowers, chocolates and some expensive wine and you have it all wrapped up. Far from seeing Valentine’s day as a contrived labour one has to follow through with in order to prove their love, I see it as a chance to strengthen the emotional and physical bond you have with a partner. With that in mind, all things pink, red and fluffy are never going to be my idea of the perfect Valentine’s gift, although the thought is always appreciated.

    February 14th is supposed to be the most romantic and intimate day of the year for you and your partner, so think carefully before you proudly march home with your garage bouquet and chocolate box. After all it’s not just your partner you’re depriving of the true meaning of Valentine’s day, its rewards are there to be reaped for both of you.

    Instead of worrying about buying a gift for your partner, why not focus on giving them an experience? Even on a limited budget you can create the ideal Valentine’s Day package that not only shows your love, it demonstrates it in a hands-on way.

    This week's Awesome Sex Toy is being replaced by a romantic experience that’s also fun. I’d like to present to enquiring minds the Shunga Oriental Body Slide Erotic Massage Gels (£10.00).

    This at home kit may seem like your run-of-the-mill massage oil kit, but there’s a whole lot of fun hiding inside those bottles.

    First and foremost, the bottles contain concentrates which you have to dilute. To create the whole mixture you add 3500ml of water (3.5 litres) to the two 225ml bottles. This will create a gallon (!) of scented massage gel to enjoy. You can mix the whole lot together for super-slippery fun, just mix half (1750ml of water and 112.5ml of liquid from each bottle) or lessen the ratio even more for smaller sessions. Either way you’ll wind up with lashings of seductively scented massage oil to play with. You also get a large gold sheet. Lay this out over the bed or on the floor and you have the perfect play platform for the warm massage gel. Now the fun can really start.

    (Check out the video from 3:00 minutes to see how much inadvertent fun can be had…)

    This kit isn’t about being methodical or controlled in your technique, it invites you to have fun and to make a mess, to be unfettered in your physical passion and have a ruddy good time.

    There is so much massage gel to play with that you’ll end up verging on a splosh scene once it’s all in the mix. Start off with your usual sensual massage moves, keeping the amount of gel used relatively small and then amp it up. Rub the gel onto your own body or invite your partner to do it for you. Throw a little around, get it on the sheet, have a playful wrestle together and slide about. Expect laughter, expect play fights and expect to get messy.

    You, your partner and the sheet will be super slippery from head to toe once you move from sensual erotic massage into a full blown erotic encounter. The feeling of frictionless skin-on-skin offers a unique erotic experience that isn’t to be missed and this level of fun simply isn't possible with your usual-sized bottles of lube and massage oil. Effortlessly moving from relaxation to fun to laughter to hotter-than-fire sex is a natural progression that moves as slickly as the massage gel you’re writhing in.

    Sensuality, intimacy, fun, laughter and splosh all in one gift-ready box. Awesome!

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