1. The Girlfriendless Tit Wank

    TIT WANK! Thought that would get your attention. Our recent advice guide, How To Give a Tit Wank? has proven a popular subject with search engines on and off the site. Unfortunately single men are going to be missing out on their tit job action and it’s clear that the sex toy industry finds this just as unfair as they do.

    We’ve seen a lot of boobie masturbators at Lovehoney in various sizes, but as a good breast stroke is generally part of foreplay and not the main event, you might consider purchasing a big pair of prosthetic breasts a little rich for your means.

    So what if you had a pair of boobs that could not only offer you a satisfying and slippery titwank but could also give you a realistic vaginal penetration to mix things up? You know where this is going, don’t you? From my favourite makers of weird and wonderful toys - Pipedream - comes the Pipedream Extreme Realistic Vagina and Tits Male Masturbator…

    This realistic male masturbator gives a whole new meaning to the presumably Wikepedia-coined phrase mammary intercourse as it actually allows you to penetrate the breasts as well as slide up and down between them. Made from the deliciously squishy and intensely realistic Fanta Flesh, whether you’re pounding the pillows on deck or below the surface, you’re ensured a realistic pleasuring.

    Looking at the toy objectively, the only way you’ll ever achieve this close proximity between large, firm breasts and a warm, wet pussy in real life is by having a threesome with a contortionist and her best gal pal. Even then I defy you to find the angle that allows you to slide effortlessly between boobs and vagina.

    The explosive tit wank that nature couldn’t give you? Awesome!

    Comments (1)

    • Rose Rose: November 09, 2011 22:23
      My god!

      I can't work out if I feel amazed or disgusted!

      Rose Rouge