1. What Do You Do With A Colossal Cock?

    Super Victor Giant DildoIs it a sex toy? Is it a bludgeoning device? Possibly both! It’s Super Victor!

    Men have been asking the question, “does size matter?” ever since they discovered that women derive pleasure from sex too. They’d be forgiven for thinking it does if they found one of these in their Mrs’ bedside drawer.

    Super Victor is the MOST. Most heavy, most veiny, most ‘biggest’ giant dildo we have in our fabled aisle A*.

    Reading the description and looking at the product photos might not accurately convey how massive this member is, so for reference here’s a picture of me as I marvel at the awesomeness that is the Super Victor Giant Dildo.

    With 100 sold, we’ve yet to see one review of this dynamic giant dildo. Does Super Victor simply represent too much of a challenge or is there some unknown other use for this veiny violator?

    Super Victor Giant DildoHaving spent many a moment pondering over the enigma that is this 5.5-kg mega dong, I’ve come up with a list of alternative uses for those intrepid pleasure seekers who aren’t quite ready to handle Super Victor’s ginormous proportions.

    • Book end
    • Centrepiece for dinner parties
    • Door stop
    • Package of burden to punish a rude postie
    • Murder weapon
    • Idol of Priapus
    • Garden ornament
    • Hat/wig stand

    As a side note, if you or someone you know has had success with Super Victor, we’d love to hear about your conquest in a sex toy review. If you think you’re up to the challenge, you may want to add the ID Glide Pump Bottle 2000ml to your order, just to be on the safe side. Awesome!

    *Aisle A is where Lovehoney stores the largest and most formidable sex toys.

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    Comments (2)

    • Krys: June 22, 2011 12:03
      If it wasn't £95 I'd be tempted to buy a few to keep wigs on, it'd make for awesome conversations when I have friends round :P But I don't think I can really afford to spend that much on a sex toy I would definitely NEVER use for it's intended purpose! Ouch!
    • x X x: June 22, 2011 16:46
      Love the blog post, especially the alternate uses! If Lh ever do warehouse tours I know which Aisle to head towards.. o.O
      I think someone who's in labour may just be able to insert that thing.. but wow. It works better as a novelty toy. It's far too scary to think about as a sex toy...