Does it matter how frequently you have anal sex? How safe is anal douching?
It's essential to use a lot of anal lube and always take things very slowly.
I've got two questions relating to anal sex. This is something myself and my partner both enjoy and as such, we do it fairly regularly (much more than I ever have in the past). Firstly, can one have too much anal sex that could cause any kind of permanent damage? We are careful and my partner is always considerate but I do wonder how often is ok?
Secondly I use an anal douche sometimes but I cannot seem to find any information about using them safely and responsibly either, only personal discussions from people who do things I wouldn't do. For example, I usually do 2/3 rinses but only with one bulb full at a time. I'm not trying to have an enema and I don't know how safe it is to put lots of water into my anus/bowels. Could anything go wrong?
I don't feel comfortable asking my GP at all and internet threads aren't really helpful.
Thanks for your question - you’ve raised a couple of important points. As I’m sure you’ve already discovered, the anus isn’t as flexible as a vagina - it doesn’t ‘stretch to fit’ in the same way - and it also doesn’t lubricate itself. So it’s essential to use a lot of lube before and during anal play, and always take things really, really slowly, with plenty of massage with a finger first.
Keep fingernails short and smooth, and likewise all anal sex toys, douches, etc. must have no sharp or uneven edges, as the anal lining is very delicate. So long as you have regular bowel habits, a douche shouldn’t always be necessary, but if you do want to use one, then make sure you use water that’s only warm, never hot - and even if you feel empty, it’s not a bad idea to wait a bit longer for the body to fully expel all the water before sex.
After activity, give the anus a chance to relax and return to its normal state and tightness, as it generally will. Faecal incontinence is rare, but it is a possibility if you ignore your body’s warning signs - so just use common sense. If anal sex or douching become really uncomfortable, or you start bleeding, getting sore, or notice blood in your stools, you need to stop immediately, until you’re fully healed.
If that begins to happen on a regular basis, you should see your GP to make sure you’re not causing repeated damage. It’s my job to point out the safety considerations - but there’s no reason why you can’t play safe and have fun!