My partner and I row all the time and our sex life is non-existent. Is there a way forward?
I’m not suprised your sex life is non-existent - you’re not going to want to be intimate and loving in an atmosphere of constant confrontation.
Just lately my partner and I seem to have silly rows all the time, and he starts on me as soon as I walk through the door. He isn’t working at the moment so I can understand he’s feeling frustrated, but as his attacks are becoming a bit of a character assassination, nothing ever seems to get sorted anyway, and our sex life has totally disappeared. Please can you suggest a way forward?
I’m not suprised your sex life is non-existent - you’re not going to want to be intimate and loving in an atmosphere of constant confrontation. Although rows can be useful in bringing issues to the surface, they aren’t always a productive way of resolving a situation - hurtful accusations uttered in the heat of the moment can cause lasting damage to a relationship.
Your partner needs to recognise that lashing out at you because of his current frustrations is not acceptable - point-scoring jibes at your personality will harm rather than help matters. You both need to break this pattern, and your best bet is to agree some ground rules for discussing legitimate concerns - have this discussion not when you’re bickering but when you’re both feeling calm, so that in future you can have constructive dialogues rather than rows.
Go for a long walk together (it can release both physical and mental tension) and take it in turns to talk, uninterrupted, for three minutes at a time. Then summarise your partner’s feelings before you swap over. Aim to address grievances as quickly as possible so that further tension doesn’t build up; try to stick to the relevant issue and resist the temptation to bring up past resentments. And never argue last thing at night, as tiredness only makes things worse.