How can I introduce S&M into my sex life?
This is new territory in your relationship so I suggest you take it very gently.
I have been going out with this girl for about two months and we are both very happy with our sex life. However, I fantasise about being dominated and frankly would like my girlfriend to push me on the bed and fuck me. How can I introduce S&M play into our relationship?
I’m not sure whether you mean you’d like her to push you on the bed for some girl-on-top action, or whether you actually want her to penetrate you. Either way, it’s quite natural that you should fancy her being the dominant one sometimes - and how much to make it S&M play is entirely up to you.
You might just want her to take control, or you might want to get into some more serious roleplaying, with her as the mistress and you as her ‘slave’… Whatever you have in mind, this is new territory in your relationship, so I suggest you broach it very gently, and start with just the idea of her being the boss and taking control.
When you’re next having sex, you could suggest that she goes on top, and then as you’re both getting turned on, tell her just how much it turns you on to see her riding you. (Remember humour is allowed, too!)
Another way of introducing new ideas is to exchange whispered fantasies whilst you’re touching each other during foreplay. The fantasies don’t have to carried out then and there, but if you’re sharing them whilst things are getting steamy, then the ideas register for future reference! If you prefer, you could always use Tracey’s idea of the two of you sitting down and making actual lists of your secret fantasies on long pieces of paper, then taking it in turns to reveal them, one by one.
It can be quite a surprise - on both sides… Depending on how elaborate they are, you can make plans to fulfill one of hers, then she can do one of yours, and so on. You’ve only been together a couple of months, so give it a chance, and don’t go over the top on the fantasies straight away - unless she surprises you and starts suggesting some really wild ones of her own!
Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.