I've always faked my orgasms and I'm too ashamed to admit this to my boyfriend
How is he ever going to discover what works for you?
I have been with my boyfriend for two years and we love each other very much. I’m feeling really worried though because I’ve always faked my orgasms.
I’m 24 and he’s 28, but he is very inexperienced, which is why I think he’s not realised I’m pretending. The problem is I’m becoming really frustrated, but I’m too ashamed to admit what has really been happening.
Faking it is not a great idea. If your boyfriend thinks he’s getting it right, and that all it takes is a few frenzied thrusts to transport you to ecstasy, how is he ever going to discover what really works for you?
As you’ve discovered, you’re now trapped in a sexual dilemma that’s tricky to get out of, but you just have to talk to each other if your relationship stands any chance of having a healthy future. Not being honest about your needs can only lead to further frustration and resentment - if you feel ashamed now, just imagine how you’d feel in ten years’ time?
It’s not easy, but try your best to be open, sensitive and frank, so he can really learn how to pleasure you properly - show him if necessary, or guide his hand along with yours. And if you can’t face telling him you’ve never actually managed an orgasm with him, then you could always describe it as quite a recent thing -and own it as your problem, rather than his, but ask for him to ‘help’ you with it.
Salvage his ego if possible, but do whatever it takes to put things right.
Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.