1. Top Five Tips for Getting Your Five-A-Day the Sexy Way!

    Top Five Tips for Getting Your Five-A-Day the Sexy Way!

    The key to finding slightly 'fruitier' alternatives to your standard dildos.

    1. Stiffer vegetables, like carrots, courgettes and cucumbers make convenient, cheap dildos - but ensure you wash them thoroughly to get rid of any pesticides - or peel them if you prefer (cover with a condom for maximum safety).

    2. In the words of self-pleasure pioneer Betty Dodson: “If you’re peeling a cucumber, remember to leave some of the skin at the bottom to act as a handle, and don’t carve too close to the seeds - or your cucumber may lose its erection”.

    3. Don’t insert any edibles into the vagina that might burn (spicy foods), get stuck (marrow?!) or be difficult to retrieve (like grapes).

    4. Another no-no from the fruit bowl is a peeled banana, as it disintegrates easily. Your local greengrocer can supply far better substitute dildos - and also the high sugar content of bananas can lead to yeast infections like thrush.The same goes for any sweet foods that may interfere with the sensitive pH balance down below, chocolate for instance.

    5. Guys, for a new way to enjoy a honeydew melon, scoop out a hole slightly smaller than your penis, then heat the melon very briefly in the oven (better than the microwave, it might explode – before you do). Run a safety check for temperature, then add lube before deflowering.

    The Greatest Sex Tips in the WorldRefreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.