The Frisky Fiver - The Budget Guide For Buying Sex Toys
I don't know about you, but my wallet starts to feel a little lighter at this time of year. The first hint of sunshine and I'm planning my entire year around seeing more of it. I get home from work on pay day and the searing heat and yellow light hitting my favourite seat has me high on anticipation for the summer, out comes the laptop and BAM! I've spent HOW MUCH?
I've got every trip planned. I've bought a wardrobe consisting entirely of hot pants, shoes with flowers on them, bikinis and straw hats. I've at least had some sense and paid the bills, so I can relax on that front. Satisfied with myself? Yep! Oh, waaait a minute. What about those in between days? I was going to go on dates, hit some clubs and pop a cork or three in the local bar. Ah. Suddenly things look a little stretched. What about those in between evenings like tonight, when I stay home and do my housework or groom myself? Hollyoaks and Eastenders only take up an hour of my life so what the Hell am I going to do? I'm making yet another iTunes playlist, this is not what I foresaw.
I check my balance again. Taking into account the nights out I want to have, it's looking pretty shady for this intrepid chica. In need of constant streams of entertainment, I refer to my old philosophy, I can ALWAYS make my own fun. What can a singleton with a fiver do to improve these boring nights in?
I've termed these my 'Good Girl Evenings'. Truth be told, if my webcam was left running you'd soon notice that these nights could not be more inappropriately named. Ever the resourceful woman, my last fiver has already been spent (fail) on a little something-something from work that sees me through from Eastenders to sleep (WIN!).
I could be selfish and reveal to you exactly what I spent my last fiver on and leave it at that, but I've always been a giver (lucky you!). So I've spent a little time checking out Lovehoney's stock and I can tell you exactly what your little, green note can give you – whatever gets you going. Better than a glass of wine and a bus ticket home, that's for damn sure.
Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun
Pretty in pink, purple, blue or white and water tight. Those bubble baths get so much more fun when you've got one of these little babies in your soap dish. At £4.99 this multispeed vibe does anything but leave you bored.
This is one high powered Mama! Single speed with rounded nubs on the top tickle your fancy, wherever your fancy might be. She works fast, too. Also £4.99.
I can't get enough of these, in the absence of a good man I can slip one over a vibe for some high powered pleasure. If you ARE a man, you want to give these a go…especially in the bath! If you have a man, you want to get one of these to put on him and then put him in the bath…and then get in too. The included battery will give you one of the best half hours of your life and when pay day comes along, you can replace the batteries and go again. Result! £4.99.
You'll need to already own lube to get the most out of this toy as it costs £4.99, but trust me it will be worth it. If you're a single guy, you'll get the benefit of a longer solo flight with an intensified landing. If you're a couple, the guy will get all of that with the added bonus of the lady enjoying the cockpit more than ever.
Stick the duvet over your head and slide these two textured sleeves onto your favourite fingers. Men and women will get a kick out of the chills and thrills created by the nodules, ribs and bumps on these pleasure puppets. £3.99 for two.
You might get bored of this after a half hour if you're home alone, but if you have a play mate you're onto a winner. Extend foreplay by taking it in turns to tickle, tease and deny to the point of explosion. Incorporate with fingertips, lips, tongue and the occasional spank to heighten sensation and get your quiver rate up. £4.99.
Creepin' Up The Backstairs
Again, you'll already need to have your own lube in supply for this one. This first timer's toy will open new back doors to secret pleasure. Experiment with your prostate or pelvic floor with this baby butt plug and see exactly how much you can intensify your orgasm just with the smallest of movements. Available in black or pink for £4.99.
If you're ready for a more full anal experience, you might benefit from the introduction of this Lube Applicator. Capable of shooting up to 5ml at a time into hard to reach places, it has a special applicator tip perfect for anal application. It's also quite fun to just randomly shoot lube at an unsuspecting partner. £3.99
Slippery When Wet
Home alone? Home with someone else? Doesn't matter, this multipack of multiple orgasm inducing lubes has a variety of experiences to keep you entertained. Containing 2 each of warming, tingling and soothing lubes for a variety of physical sensations and 4 flavoured lubes, 2 each in cherry and pina colada for all-by-mouth experiences.
One for the boys, this is some innovative lube and it needs to be sampled to be believed. Apply the lube to your manhood before you get stroking and prepare for an unreal experience. As you stroke, the texture of the lube changes to simulate the sensation of aroused, human flesh. The reviews speak for themselves!
Well, that's me sorted for the coming month of Good Girl nights. I think next month I'll make a conscious decision to keep a tenner aside, perhaps if I'm not having too many good nights in I'll find the time to update you with my top suggestions for better budgeting ;-).