I've started to suffer from premature ejaculation. Is there anything I can do?
Unfortunately, once men experience premature ejaculation, they can get very anxious about it, which doesn’t help matters.
Me and my wife have a healthy sex life. But of late I've been suffering from premature ejaculation. We've tried lots of different things like wearing a condom, pulling the penis out or stopping when I feel I'm about to come.
But nothing has worked. My wife says it's okay but I don't feel that way. Is there anything I can do?
Premature ejaculation is a common problem, but it is curable. Unfortunately, once men experience it, they can get very anxious about it, which doesn’t help matters. Another factor is the importance we tend to attach to penetration.
There’s a whole lot more to sex - and it can be fun re-discovering that. Your wife sounds very understanding, but it’s important for you take the pressure off yourself. One way is to change the order of doing things - give your wife an orgasm first, before penetrating her at all.
Do this orally, manually or, if she likes it, using a vibrator. Take your time; get her to guide you if it helps. It’ll be nice for her anyway to have you focus entirely on her. Once she’s had an orgasm, you can then move on to penetration without it mattering so much whether you come quickly.
If you both get used to doing it this way round for a while, you’ll feel less worried about the timing of your ejaculation and things will ease up. Another way is for you to masturbate to orgasm first (with or without your wife’s help) so you can last longer second time around. Or try firmly squeezing your penis just below the head when you’re close to coming.
I know you’ve tried condoms but it may be worth experimenting with Performa by Durex - which contains a special lubricant to desensitize the penis head, so intercourse can last longer. And Lovehoney have just introduced French Letter Fairtrade Linger Lust Condoms with a built-in potency ring, which also enables you to enjoy longer lovemaking.
Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.