My partner is easily aroused but struggles to reach orgasm. Can you recommend a powerful vibrator?

First of all let me reassure you both that it's not unusual to be unable to orgasm through penetrative or oral sex alone. And more vibration is needed as we get older.

Question:

My partner and I have been together for about 18 months now. She is 42 and really enjoys sex. She is very easily aroused and always very keen for sex, but she has tremendous problems in achieving an orgasm. This is not something new, she has had this problem all her life.

We have found that she can sometimes orgasm with the use of her rabbit vibrator, although this can take as long as 90+ minutes and requires a lot of effort and concentration to do so. Needless to say she finds this problem extremely frustrating.

She really enjoys both penetrative and oral sex, but has never orgasmed through either. I just wondered if you had heard of such a problem before and could suggest anything that could possibly help her?

We've thought of trying a different (more powerful) vibrator, but the range is huge and we simply don't know where to start. Can you help please?

Julie Says:

First of all let me reassure you both that it's not unusual to be unable to orgasm through penetrative or oral sex alone. In fact, only 20% of women climax through intercourse - which makes sense when you think that the clitoris - the main powerhouse of pleasure - is on the outside, not the inside, of our bodies.

And I'm sure not climaxing orally won't be anything to do with your technique either - if it takes your partner quite a while to orgasm with her vibrator, I suspect she needs something a little stronger than your tongue.

I think the key could definitely be a more powerful vibrator - our nerve endings gradually deteriorate due to ageing and lifestyle, meaning more vibration is needed as we get older.

I can wholeheartedly recommend the legendary Hitachi Magic Wand. Introduced in the 70s as a medical massage device, it is still wonderful for aching backs, but it's also capable of rendering you speechless when it comes to more private parts of the anatomy.

It's reassuringly non-sexual in appearance - and a little on the loud side if I'm being picky - but the orgasms it delivers are as good as it gets. It's always been the weapon of choice of US sexual pioneer Betty Dodson, now in her seventies and still going strong!

The Wand is also mains powered so it's pretty insistent (to say the least) and that also means no batteries to replace. I think it may do the trick for your partner, as this one just won't take no for an answer!

Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Sex Tips in the World explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.