Tuesday Taste Test - Sliquid Swirl Blue Raspberry Flavoured Intimate Lubricant
A Report by Carly "Pleasure" Drew
Sliquid Swirl Glycerin Free Blue Rasperry Flavoured Lubricant is a 125ml bottle of clear water based gel which looks somewhat like bubble bath. I love a good bubble bath, especially whilst eating marshmallows, so this particular taste test already seems promising.
The short, rather cute looking bottle has lovely graphics and a lid that matches the packaging. This co-ordination of colours pleases me, especially as I notice that it also matches the bottle of water and tissues sat on my desk. I will put them all together to create a lovely display for anyone who chooses to visit me in my corner of the office.
Upon opening the sealed bottle, there is a faint, yet delicious fruity scent. I am slightly perplexed at the name of this product as it is listed as "blue raspberry". From my previous research, I would have assumed a blue raspberry was in fact a blueberry. However, the smell is more of a general berry odour and, depending on your preference, can be assumed to be raspberry, blueberry or even blackberry.
My theory is that this intimate lubricant, with its multi-odoured properties and delightfully co-ordinated packaging (I have also discovered that it matches the trimming on my handbag so will place that in my ever growing museum of "things that match the Sliquid Swirl Glycerin Free Blue Rasperry Flavoured Lubricant bottle"), will be delicious in flavour and could be considered as one of my five-a-day of fruit and vegetables.
HypothesisIn order to prove my theory that Sliquid Swirl Glycerin Free Blue Rasperry Flavoured Lubricant will taste simply magical in flavour, I intend to lick the product from the back of both hands (for an unbiased opinion) then produce a full report on my findings.
Experiment Diary14.00 - Open bottle of Sliquid Swirl Glycerin Free Blue Rasperry Flavoured Lubricant and inhale the sweet, exquisite smell.
14.01 - Consider using the lubricant as a perfume.
14.02 - Sneeze loudly in a very quiet office and headbutt the bottle in the process.
14.04 - Rub lubricant with my little finger on to the back of one hand, then rub both hands together in a clockwise direction.
14.10 - The lubricant is still moist on the back of my hands, so even if it doesn't taste like little pixies are caressing my taste buds, it certainly does the job as a lubricant.
14.12 - Lick the back of both hands whilst hiding behind my computer screen.
14.14 - Think about going out and buying some ice cream so the lubricant can be used as a delicious topping and/or sauce for it.
FindingsThe Sliquid Swirl Glycerin Free Blue Rasperry Flavoured Lubricant was licked from my hands in short, gentle licks, having learnt my lesson from the previous taste test and wanting to avoid unnecessary gurning or cringing in the office this time.
My findings are very positive for this product. The lubricant really does last longer than most Hollywood marriages and happens to taste like a party in my mouth, to which all the berries are invited!
The texture is almost syrupy, making me want to pour it on pancakes and eat whilst reading a fine piece of Chaucer. The texture is also similar to your own natural lubrication, making it perfect for whatever sexual shenanigans you decide to get up to!
ConclusionIn conclusion, my hypothesis has been proven true - Sliquid Swirl Glycerin Free Blue Rasperry Flavoured Lubricant does indeed taste like Paul Daniels has blessed my tongue with his magical sorcerery (that's not a euphemism).
There are currently no side effects from the reasonable amount of lubricant I have ingested. Therefore, I believe it is safe to conclude that Sliquid Swirl Glycerin Free Blue Rasperry Flavoured Lubricant is the ideal lubricant for oral, vaginal and anal sex, as well as ice cream sundaes.