Sex by Numbers by Sarah Hedley
In an extract from her new book Sex by Numbers, Sarah Hedley gives us a top ten teaser of tips from each chapter. Maths has never been so much fun!
Chapter 1 - Let's Do Lunch
Why all the fuss about oysters? Well, oysters are high in zinc, which is a vital sexual nutrient (a deficiency of it can lead to a low sex drive). Also, for a man to see a woman swallow whole oysters suggests she'll happily swallow his own raw emissions. Oysters' slippery nature lend itself well to a game of Chase. She holds her legs tightly together, letting the oyster slip down between her thighs; he chases the potent aphrodisiac using nothing but his tongue.
Chapter 2 - Body Talk
Due to the extreme sensitivity of the scalp, some men have to focus very hard on not getting erections when they visit the hairdressers. To fire up his follicles at home, share a bath. Let him sit between your legs and lean back against your chest, and then stroke your fingers slowly and purposefully through his locks using conditioner rather than shampoo because it's smoother, less drying on the hair and won't sting so much if it gets in his eyes.
Chapter 3 - Sex with the One You Love
Men tap their penis to bring blood to the erectile tissue, making them hard and more responsive. This works for some women too: tap your clitoris in a similar way by pulling back the labia to expose your clitoris, then gently continuously tap it with your index finger to build arousal.
Chapter 4 - Sexcessories
For those keen on experiencing special hot/cold effects during sex, chilling your lube in the fridge in advance will have delightful results.
Chapter 5 - Techno Sex
During cybersex, keep your messages to each other as short as a sentence at a time. That way you're both receiving a steady stream of mental stimulation, rather than waiting ages while the other types up a smutty chapter from an old Jackie Collins book. Also, use a hands-free sex toy to keep you buzzing throughout.
Chapter 6 - At the Movies
Choosing adult films for comedy value is a gentle way to break into the murky waters of porn appreciation. Bend Over Boyfriend 2: More Rockin', Less Talkin' could be just the ticket if you both find the idea of penetrating men with large strap-ons laughable (of course it could equally be highly arousing if you're into that kind of thing). Couple-friendly films by leading adult directors like the UK's Anna Span and the US's Candida Royalle are a huge hit with women viewers, and soft-core material might suit first-timers. Popular examples are Emmanuelle, The Story of O, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Betty Blue and The Red Shoe Diaries (featuring David Duchovny for all you X-Files' fans).
Chapter 7 - Game On
Window-shopping on Lovehoney.co.uk with your partner is a great way to have a giggle and open lines of communication about what you might like to try. First agree a budget - you don't have to actually spend the money, but imagine that you have a reasonable figure each at your disposal. You may see a set of fluffy handcuffs you like and they may respond by saying they prefer the black leather ones. Instantly you've learned something - and possibly a compromise is a set of fluffy handcuffs with a leather blindfold. At any rate you might get some inspiration on what to buy your partner for Christmas.
Chapter 8 - The Calmer Sutra
The Row Boat is popular in Tantric sex where inhaling each other's breath is a bonus - it goes by many names from 'The Seesaw' to 'Monkey on a Stick'. He sits upright legs crossed; she sits on his lap wrapping her legs around the base of his back and her arms around his shoulders. There isn't much room for movement in this posture - you simply rock backwards and forwards in each other's arms. A lot of couples get off on the intimacy, and further stimulation can be received by clenching your pelvic muscles in time together or by placing a small vibrating bullet between his pelvic bone and her clitoris.
Chapter 9 - Moreplay
Foreplay is an awful misnomer that suggests all non-penetrative sex should go before intercourse. It can, in fact, go after intercourse (like it does in my book Sex By Numbers), between intercourse or even - shock, horror - occur independently of intercourse and still result in a shuddering orgasm. For example, according to Tantric texts, the nerve pathways of the upper lip in women are linked directly to the clitoris, and the nerves of the lower lip in men are linked directly with their penis - suck 'em and see.
Chapter 10: Anal? Oral? Or all of the above?
The idea of anal sex scares some, but anal play doesn't have to include penetration. A lot of people enjoy having their anal opening stimulated without going any further - particularly heterosexual males who believe anal penetration equates to homosexuality. (For the record, it doesn't.) You can arouse the anal opening with fingertips, toys, water from a showerhead (great for people who have hygiene issues), or with the tongue (great for people who don't).
Sex By Numbers is available from Lovehoney.