1. Not Another Plastic Penis - Sex Toys for Women Who Like the Extraordinary

    I Rub My Penguin Waterproof Vibrator

    Finally, we're moving away from all sex toys for women looking like a castaway penises (or penii) - and how grateful for that are we, really?

    Nowadays you can get vibrators and dildos (and more) in a wide range of sizes, shapes, and functions - there is sure to be something out there to suit all tastes.

    Some of the best toys are stepping away from basic flesh coloured, genital simulators. Not only do these toys rock because they reach areas that others miss, but you can leave them out for guests to appreciate your "art" collection.

    Also, gentlemen, if I may point out… these are the toys you want to reach for when you're hoping to surprise a lady with a new sex toy. She'll be all hot and bothered, but not turned off by something that appears a bit skeevy to her. That is a win for both of you.

    1. Synergy Pleasure System This is one of my all-time favourite toys. It is adaptable and efficient, and the darned thing looks no more offensive than an electric toothbrush. The oscillation means you don't get numb the way you can with a regular vibrator - and with heads to suit all purposes, it makes a great couples toy.

    Miss Saigon Classic Large Dildo 2. Miss Saigon Classic Large Dildo This is a pricey toy, but it is exquisitely beautiful and could easily sit on your counter as a piece of art. I have one of these and it is the one thing in my collection that is sure to get the oohs and aahs from friends. If you're looking to give a gift to a special someone, you can't go wrong with this one.

    Njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo 3. Njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo This one goes out to all the techies and lovers of industrial art - people who have used it says it hits all the right spots, but looking at it, you would think someone just dropped a bit of chrome sculpture.

    I Rub My Penguin Waterproof Vibrator 4. I Rub My Penguin Waterproof Vibrator Seriously, I have had this one on my bathroom counter for months now and not one guest has realised what it is. He just looks like a cheery bathroom toy. Mult-speeds and mult-pulse patterns makes him more than just a pretty face - and with the benefit of all sorts of smooth and bumpy parts, you're sure to enjoy him no matter how you like your vibrations.

    5. B3 Tuyo Massager for Women Looking like a Magic 8 Ball with a difference, the B3 is guaranteed to be unlike anything else you've currently got beside your bed. Roll it across your body for an all-over massage, or hold it securely for intense vibrations, this one is multi-purpose. And like a lot of the toys listed here, it's guaranteed to be completely non-intimidating to your partner. Unless he has a fear of balls. In which case… wow.

    But, we don't always buy non-obvious toys, do we? I know I don't fill my toy collection only with discreet, obscure toys that no one would recognise. I've got just as many souped-up vibrators, love eggs, and anal beads as the next girl.

    So for those emergencies, HIDE, HIDE, HIDE. The Adult Toybox Sex Toy Case comes in four colours (including a fabulously girly shade of pink that just screams "innocence" even when you're shoving it full of handcuffs, whips, and nipple clamps).

    And for… well… some of us… there is the Extra Large Adult Sex Toy Case. There is no shame in admitting that your collection has reached "extra large" status. At least, I sure hope there isn't…

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