1. The Monkey Spanker Works for Women... um... For Men, I Mean

    Monkey Spanker

    I have a confession to make. I like to think I'm not alone, but no one really talks about it.

    Maybe I'm the only one.

    I will tell you, but you mustn't make fun of me.


    No jokes.

    I like to watch men masturbate.

    Whew, that really wasn't so hard to say, now was it? Men are hot, men wanking are hot, theoretically, men wanking with toys would be even hotter. Unfortunately, though, most toys for men are kind of…unsettling for the viewer. Like most women, I may understand the pleasure that toys like the Fleshlight can give men, but I shudder to see their little fake vaginas, anuses, and…perhaps most horrifically, their fake mouths.

    You can imagine my sheer, unbridled joy, then, upon viewing Bonny's video for the Monkey Spanker. Peeps, seriously. That shite is hawt. *cough*

    Sorry about that. Got distracted.


    The most important thing about the Monkey Spanker is not that I find it strangely sexy with that inner skin moving up and down… all… hotly… but that it seems to work. At least, the men writing in their reviews over at Orgasm Army seem to think so:

    From chrisnb: Relatively light and slightly flexible, it reminded me, bizarrely, of the plastic ice-scrapers you get for cleaning windscreens in the winter!

    The rubber membrance in the middle stretches over the head and holds closely, but not viciously tightly, over the head and around the body of the cock. The small bullet vibe in the handle give a pleasurable, if not overwhelming vibration throughout the whole of the toy.

    The box says "novelty item" - I was disappointed when I read this, but extremely happy when I'd carried out the test drive!

    And from Rosicky: The orgasms have, in my experience, been better with this toy than without it. Orgasms are slightly longer and more intense than with usual masturbation, and I found I came more and more powerfully. The toy is very easy to wash and keep clean. If seen by somebody else, it might not be recognised as a sex toy. It does have the words "Monkey Spanker" and a picture of a monkey embossed on it, however it is hard to see…

    It improves masturbation without directly imitating a women, and gives better orgasms and is less effort and more comfortable than regular wanking.

    I know the Monkey Spanker is going on my Wish List.


    I, of course, meant to say my partner's Wish List…

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