5 Ways to Help Men With Lower Sex Drives Than Their Partners
So Ruth sent me a few links to some articles on what is going on in the sex world (should that be capitalized, do you think? "Sex World" seems to have more gravitas)--included in which was an article on men who have lower sex drives than is normally considered…um…normal. Now, as a woman with a very healthy sex drive, I have certainly known for some time that men are not always the ever-ready Energizer Bunny of Sexy Lovin' that they are portrayed as being in the media.
As someone who has experienced the reality of sex-drive disconnect before, I was looking forward to reading some helpful tips on what partners can do to make sure everyone is satisfied, without either feeling undue pressure. I was a little saddened to read that all they suggested, really, was to not put the kind of pressure on your man that will make the problem worse. And ladies, you really shouldn't. That doesn't help anyone. But that isn't the full story, really. What do you do after you've expressed mutual love and support? Well, peeps, you figure out some other way to get. it. on.
To that end, gentlemen, I present to you five great ideas for keeping your personal sex kitten purring in contentment even if you're not quite in heat yourself:
1. Good Vibrations Massage Bar
Massage is where it all starts, really. The desire for sex isn't just about wanting the orgasm--often it is the much simpler desire to be touched and loved. Good Vibrations makes a luxurious body bar that makes a massage feel like the most seductive thing in the world. There is also something kind of fun about swishing it around watching it melt, so it should keep you amused as well. This is my hands down favourite massage product.
2. Sue Johnson Royal Gauntlet Finger Stimulator
Giving your hands that little bit extra, the Finger Stimulator lets your partner enjoy the sensation of your hands on her--trust me, the best part of sex--but also adds the excitement of vibration. Which, I might add, will bring her to orgasm faster. If that is a concern for you. :)
3. Flexible Vibrating Double Dildo
You can use the lack of standard penetrative sex to your advantage with a double dildo--double penetration is now completely possible, even without inviting over your next door neighbour. That this version has the option of vibrating just increases its usability and it is darned cool to look at.
4. Tongue Joy Deluxe Romance Edition
Oral sex is one of the best ways of satisfying a woman--especially if you're able to focus all on her, rather than doing it as a prelude to the 'real' action. But, it can be time consuming. And daunting. The Tongue Joy turns your already flexible, talented tongue into the perfect sex toy. You are now giving your partner both the erotic appeal of having your head between her thighs, and the vibration that really gets the job done. Your work is made easier, your woman is kept happy, and everyone is a winner. You can't really beat that with a stick.
5. Latex Lover Hollow Vibrating Strap-on
You can certainly simulate sex using an ordinary dildo or vibrator, but the sheer joy of this is giving your partner all the parts of sex that toys can't quite replicate--the feel of your weight on her, the feel of skin against skin, the physicality of sex. Adding in a vibration means extra fun for her and fun for you, too. These sell out very quickly (which should tell you something), so check for alternate versions, or ask Lovehoney to email you when it's back in.
Having a partner who has a higher sex drive than you can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. But it really doesn't need to be. If you are willing to try a few things out and willing to talk to your partner about what it is specifically that can keep her satisfied, you can find that her drive and happiness with you makes your own drive seem a perfect match.