1. How To Enjoy Anal Sex: Tips & Better Anal Sex

    How To Enjoy Anal SexLoads of people secretly want to try anal sex, but even in this 'modern' age where people are becoming more open to erotic experimentation, anal sex still carries a taboo.

    However, there is a reason why so many people enjoy the use of anal sex toys - when done properly, anal play can add a whole new dimension of pleasure to your sex life. Many people are astounding by the new sensations and powerful orgasms they can experience during anal play and anal sex.

    Anal sex should never be painful. If it is, slow down or stop completely, and remember that pain is your body's way of letting you know something is wrong. ,

    Follow the five easy steps to enjoy anal sex below to ensure your first approach to anal sex is one of the most fulfilling sexual experiences you've ever had.

    So here's how to enjoy anal sex …

    Video: Thinking about trying anal sex for the first time? Jess and Sammi tell you everything you need to know about first-time anal penetration in this video.

    Step 1 - Get clean

    Enjoying Anal SexIt goes without saying that if you're sexually stimulating an area that's usually devoted to daily ablutions, you will need to ensure that your anus is squeaky clean. Have a relaxing bath beforehand and thoroughly clean the area. Many anal sex beginners like to use an anal douche to guarantee complete and utter cleanliness, and it's something we highly recommend too.

    If you're conscious about your lover seeing your anus in full for the first time, why not gently shave or wax the skin between your butt cheeks to make sure they're porn-flick worthy? You'll be surprised how much more relaxed and confident this will make you.

      Step 2 - Use lube

      Lovehoney Discover Water-Based Anal Lubricant 100mlDon't even think about attempting any form of anal activity without using some form of lubricant. There's a raft of great lubes available for you to buy but the best ones are the thick, specially formulated anal lubricants.

      Try Lovehoney Discover Water-Based Anal Lubricant - it's a thick lube designed to make anal sex comfortable and painless and is water-based, so it's compatible for use with condoms and sex toys.

      If you have particularly sensitive skin, you may want to try Sliquid Sassy Glycerin-Free Anal Lubricant - it has less ingredients than more lubricants so there's less chance of irritation.

    Step 3 - Start small

    Tracey Cox Supersex Beginner's Butt PlugIf this is your first time trying anal sex, it makes sense to start off by using your lover's fingers or a beginner's butt plug like the Tracey Cox Supersex Beginner's Butt Plug (£9.99) to familiarize your anus with the feeling of penetration.

    You lover should start by lubing up the plug or their finger and start off with the tip, then gently work their finger or plug in until it is submerged.

    You should continue to do this with up to three fingers or by going from a smaller to a larger butt plug, but only if you're still feeling comfortable and pleasured. Don't forget to use lube on each finger you insert.

      Step 4 - Take it slow

      So your lover has been penetrating you with his fingers and you're loving it. Now comes the penis bit: make sure your lover's penis is well lubed and protected with a condom. Next, lie either on your tummy with a cushion underneath your pelvic bone or lie on your side.

      Take one of your hands and use your fingers to pull your butt cheeks gently apart. This will help guide your lover into your anus without too much 'prodding,' making it a lot easier for both of you. Your lover should begin by slowly inserting the tip of his penis into your anus. Remember that this will feel marginally painful because it is your first time (just like with first-time vaginal sex), but it will get easier. However, if you're in a great deal of pain or feel uncomfortable then ask your lover to stop immediately.

      Once your lover has inserted the tip of his penis, ask him to gently penetrate your anus further but at a gentle pace that you feel comfortable with. Continue like this until your lover's penis is fully submerged and you can build up a rhythmic thrust comfortably.

      Some people don't experience an orgasm when trying anal sex for the first time, but the more you and your lover try anal sex the better it will get.

    Step 5 - Clean up

    Anal Sex AccessoriesAfter each time you've finished having anal sex, make sure that you thoroughly clean your anus and your partner's penis. A good wipe with Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy & Body Wipes should leave you feeling fresh again but a quick shower with your lover is even better.

    If you used any toys, remember to give them a thorough clean with soap and water or a sex toy cleaner and store them seperately once dry.

    If you're experiencing soreness after anal sex, soak in a warm bath and wear breathable cotton underwear to bed.

    These are Lovehoney customer favourite anal lubes and douches:

    Guide to Anal Sex Toys

    You may also like:

    Questions About Enjoying Anal Sex

    Comments (122)

    • Lesleys: May 02, 2007 17:18
      I don't enjoy Anal but my husband loves it when I do it to him !, we only started doing this a few months ago desite the fact we've been married over 20 years. At first I felt unconfortable doing this to him and concerned how much he was enjoying it ! but having read several articles it would appear many straight men enjoy being penerated sexually. To date I have only used fingers but he wants me to get a strap on to do it proper as he puts it...and again I am still not over keen as yet although I think I will come round to the idea....any suggestions???
    • Ashley: May 17, 2007 02:28
      My husband and I have been married for 3 and a half years. He is so interested in anal sex, but everytime I try it's so painful. I have bought anal plugs and other anal toys and I can deal with them fine. His penis is another story, I don't know why though. He always starts off slow and easy and lubed thoroughly, but still ends up painful only after an inch or so. The toys I deal with fine and are very enjoyable. Why is it I can take the toys but not my husband>
    • Stephanie: May 17, 2007 03:24
      My boyfriend wants to try anal sex and I'm kind of nervous. I'm just worried that he'll be grossed out if there's anything left on him afterwards, if you know what I mean. Is there a way to avoid this? The article says to clean beforehand, but does that mean the exterior only?
    • Ashley: May 17, 2007 03:27
      I know what you mean. I've heard of anal douches but that just seems like a lot of work just to let him stick it in your ass.
    • Stephanie: May 17, 2007 03:30
      What do you think I should do? I really want to try it, but I don't want him to be all wierded out if i didnt clean properly. If you're even supposed to clean that way.
    • Ashley: May 17, 2007 03:32
      Um...my hubby doesn't seem to care when done other ways...but apparently it's not a big deal to them.
    • Stephanie: May 17, 2007 03:35
      okay. thanks.
    • Richard: May 17, 2007 13:08
      My boyfriend wants to try anal sex and I'm kind of nervous

      No problem, buy a strap on and he can be the receiver for your first time!

      Try one of these: www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=809

    • brandie: May 18, 2007 15:30
      i was told to use Fleet, some kind of anal douche sold by the laxitives to cleanse before you have anal sex. i am also preparing for my first time next week. when my hubby gets home from work.
    • Ashley: May 19, 2007 02:00
      Good luck!
    • Throb: June 07, 2007 10:34
      My wife and I were both new to anal together. She absolutely loves it especially whilst receiving vaginal pleasure from a dildo/rabbit. Part of the deal was for me to be on the receiving end too and it is mega whilst being felaited also. It was hard at first, but persevere and you'll reap the pleasures.
    • FinallyGettinSom: June 24, 2007 17:07
      My husband and I haven't had sex for 3 years. We both gained weigh after the baby and medical conditions. Now that we are slimming dow, I surprised him last night with the offer of anal sex in the shower. He said he was never able before because he was/is too thick. I was in so much pain the first inch that I wanted to die but he was slow and it was amazing. I don't want to get prego again and he won't use condoms so all he's gunna get is da but! But i want to know how do I get him to let me give it to him in his but? He has the 'exit only' attitude but I think he might like it. Any suggestions?
    • Ashley: June 25, 2007 00:12
      Try giving him head and slipping a finger in. Maybe he'll be so "in the moment" he won't say anything. I've heard that guys really like it, but many have the "exit only" attitude until they have it done to them.
    • Vicky: July 03, 2007 21:57
      Hey guys, read the second comment from the top ( posted by Ashley) and I feel exactly the same! Not sure if you've tried it by now hun, same story, can take everything but his penis, but surely there should be a way of going about it as so many people have done it! :) Any advice ?
    • Richard: July 04, 2007 09:33
      This Anal Sex Beginner's Kit comes with a dinky butt plug and anal lube, which is great for first-timers... Plus it has a detailed guide written by sex expert Tracey Cox...


    • natalie: July 28, 2007 01:37
      i am curious about anal sex, but really scared it cud do dammage 2 ya, i mean pardon 4 bein crude but do u have 2 have num 2 before hand, or what.
    • Richard: July 28, 2007 16:42
      @ Natalie

      No, you don't have to be numb, in fact, it's best not to be. This guide talks you through how to get started with anal sex...


      The Tracey Cox Kit mentioned above features a much more in-depth guide and it really is the best kit to buy to explore anal sex for the first time...

      Good luck - and don't do anything you don't want to or which hurts!

    • colette: August 07, 2007 04:27
      my boyfriend always wanted to try anal sex but i'm worried about when he insert his penis it might come out with stool on it, is there is something that i can do before i do it that it wont happen.
    • nick: August 12, 2007 18:14
      i was intrested in reading all the comments posted about anal sex.ashley expressed a feeling about having pain when she was penatrated.my wife had the same problem as ashley.untill i brought a pump up butt plug.i got my wife to pump it up in stages.at each time she used it she pumped it up a bit larger than last time.this helped to strech out the anus untill such time as she was large enough to take me with out pain.my wife now uses the pump up plug on a regular basis and now we are enjoying anal sex even more now.i hope this has been a help to ashley and to anybody who has had problems like this
    • Ashley: August 13, 2007 02:02
      How much are the "blow-up butt plugs?"
    • Sooze: October 28, 2007 22:49
      My Fiancee and I love anal sex. The first time was a little sore but we really took our time. I asked him to stop a few times and he offered to give up but I knew if I breathed deeply and relaxed it would be ok. We eventually had fantastic anal sex after we gave my body plenty of time to adjust to the cock slowly penetrating me deeper, bit by bit. I had the same concerns as the women are voicing on here. Lots of lube trust and relaxation. He gets me ready by rubbing my own juices into my bum with his fingers before smearing lots of lube into my ass starting with one finger and working up to all four. We often have vaginal sex while we do this. By the time he has the fourth finger in my ass I'm begging him for his cock. He takes it very slowly inch by inch lying on our sides and I am totally relaxed. He does all the work as I'm concentrating on relaxing so I can take all of him. Once he's deep inside my bum we wait until my body adjusts, which it always does, just needs to be given a chance and he starts off very slowly. As I get more turned on my body becomes more receptive and then I want it hard and fast! As long as there's plenty of lube I can take a really good pummelling and the feel of his cum exploding in my ass is out of this world! Using a vibrator in my pussy at the same time drives us both wild as he can feel the vibrations trough my vaginal wall and it makes my bum even tighter. We are looking for a long double ended vibrtor that can go up his ass and into my pussy at the same time or at least vibrate against his balls as he penetrates my bum. I can't see anything like that on here. The anal douche is great for hygene confidence. He uses one too before we have sex so I can lick his ass and finger him without worrying that I might catch something nasty. I use depilatory cream and he shaves for better oral and it makes verything slippier too! Clean shaven balls are much nicer in the mouth. He loves a bit of finger when I'm sucking his cock. I use a lot of spit when I'm giving him a blow job and get him to squirt the lube onto my fingers so he knows what he's getting. I lick and suck his balls then all the way up to his ass teasing him until I dip the point of my tounge into his hole, it drives him nuts! Then one finger, well lubed slowly right up his bum then rum him with the pad of my finger fcing his belly button while I take his cock down my throat. He struggles not to cum but it makes for a quick, deep, satisfying orgasm. I think the ladies who are having trouble with pain, try breathing exercises and take lots of time. Fingers fist and only when that doesn't hurt a little cock. As soon as there's pain he stops and just waits with what cock he has got in you where it is. Your body will adjust and the pain will go. Then try another half an inch. There's no rush and it does get much easier after the first time and there's no damage if you take it easy. It's an amazing orgasm. I still can't believe how much I love it! It also helps mild period pain!
    • emz: December 10, 2007 23:52
      ur al sik butt plugs wtf
    • Sue: March 07, 2008 12:02
      I would hope that the moderators here would remove such small minded childishness a little sooner than now... 'emz' grow up.

      Everyone else, thanks for the tips.

    • Richard: March 07, 2008 12:07
      Hi Sue, Thank you for your message... We leave comments like that because they're so idiotic that the rest of us can have a laugh at their expense! :-)
    • nick: March 08, 2008 19:12
      hi richard
      i totaly agree with both your self and sue.on the plus side though it dont appear to happen to often (witch is a good thing )lets just hope it will reamain that way.i would like to take this oppotuinty to applaud love honey for placing a chat fourm on there web site.i feel that with so meany people who enjoy the same thing should no longer have to be behind closed doors.the once tabbo matters is now open thanks to a more libral attitude.i belive that to share there experience and to give usefull hints and tips to enjoy a safe and pleasurable love making.
      and to see other subjects such as bondage and s/m
      as well as wearing of fetish items such as rubber/leather etc being more talked about and more open than it was say ten years ago is positive.what ever you are into play safe and have fun


    • Brett: April 11, 2008 18:26
      Hello everyone...thank you for the great advise in the above comments. I just purchased my first anal toy and my husband and I want to try anal for the first time. Yet, I want to explore by myself first so that it will be easier for me to relax. Does anyone have any advise on how to start...with a finger or just using my toy? I have heard differing views! Thanks for the advise


    • blue22: June 28, 2008 03:46
      My Wife and I have been married for 6 years and we both have tried and still do anal. Get the strap on, I love it when my wife takes control of me. At first she was concerned that I may be Bi or Gay, but I'm not. Let him have anal with you. Trust me, the first few times will not last long for him, as the excitement will make him finish faster than normal.
    • nick: June 28, 2008 21:49
      hi blue 22 your post reminds me of my younger days.it seams everybody is in the rush these days. the only way to calm down his excitement is to slow things down a little.start of with a slow forplay tease his anus and the rest of his body and make shure he do the same thing to your body slowly build up the excitement.the art of love making is to savor every moment of it to make shure both of you gets plesure from it.try expermenting diffrent ways so the sex dont get stale or dare i say it boring.try light bondage while you arouse him.you never know you might get to like it as well if he try,s on you never say never.some things like bondage you might not have tried yet and like all new things we tend to be uncertain.untill we try it.at lest give it a go and if it dont work then try something that might work for both of you.both myself and my wife are now just turned 50 and after all these years we have tride all diffrent ways to make our love making last.its only just reacent that my wife has started using a strap on on me.like you my wife thought that i might be bi.but then we used the other thing that is just as inportant than expermenting and that is talking to each other.let both partners tell each other what they are thinking and feeling.with that in place both sides can relax more.my wife now loves her anal and even gets aroused when i lube her.i know i have wittled on a bit here but i hope this has been of help to you and for anybody who is trying anal or anything new for the first time.so its talk ,nice and slow,and enjoy

    • mad001: September 07, 2008 11:28
      i have tried with my wife but she still complains even when i try with myt fingers she says it hurts have tried anal lube ky jelly no way until she gets tippsy whaen she has a few drinks she can take me with out lube help i would love her to try it more often but she will not try. hsave tried to stimuilate her with my fingers when she relaxes i can get two maybe three fingers in the back door but won't let me enter her any ideas...
    • Marsha: November 03, 2008 13:00
      Oh, mad001! Never have anal without lube. That is a very delicate area of the body and does not self-lubricate like the vagina does. Anal sex without lube can cause anal fissures and lots of pain! Use something thick, it says in place better and will make it easier to penetrate. There's lots of blogs with good advice on the subject.

      @Natalie If you feel it's necessary, you might want to have a bowel movement 2-3 hours before having anal sex. Additionally, if you're not feeling clean enough or are really worried about residual fecal matter (there's only going to be tiny amounts) use an anal douche, like Fleet, but dump out the liquid it comes with and just use warm water, you don't need those laxatives. Also, 2-3 before, so any irritation can settle. But really, you shouldn't need to go that far. If your man isn't prepared for a potential mess (which is likely eventually) he's not ready for anal.

    • PJ: December 30, 2008 12:18
      My husband and I tried anal sex for the first time last night, with plenty of lube there was hardly any pain so it was okay but my mind was occupied with 'other feelings'.

      I spent most of the time feeling that he wasn't fully in and that he was popping out all the time and I also felt like I needed to go to the toilet. If anyone has ever had a suppository you'll know what I mean.

      Are these normal feelings? I couldn't fully relax and enjoy myself because of them so any thoughts would be much appreciated.

    • nick: December 31, 2008 11:34
      hi pj
      thank you for your post.what you felt.ie the feeling of needing to go to the toilet is normal.for the first timer.as you say it was your first time and your body has not ajusted yet to having your anus penatrated.on top of that you was not quite relaxed.what you can do is buy some butt plugs in diffrent sizes and use them before you try anal sex again.that way your body can ajust to having a plug/cock in you.but relaxing is the key part as well as having full trust in your partner.also what you can do is have your partner rim you.rimming is when your partner tounges your anus. the anus is just as sensative
      as the vigina and some women can get very aroused by this. get your partner to try it on you.and you never know he/she might hit a plesure you may yet not know about.please dont give up on anal yet
      it will takwe time to get used to and i know that in time both you and your partner will get great pleasure from it.but as i have stated meany times in this post just relax and take your time and use pleanty of lube.good luck p.j i hope this has been of some help to you.have fun and enjoy


    • Bob: January 01, 2009 10:20
      Hi me and my girlfriend have had anal sex once and she said it hurt a little, I really want to do it more but she is scared it will hurt any ideas
    • nick webb: January 01, 2009 13:11
      hi bob
      it will be normal for any woman who has not had anal sex before to be tence.and yes for some it might have a little pain.but the key is to get her to relax and use plenty of lube.if you read some of my other posts and indeed the posts of all the other good people here.you will see a guide to having a good anal sex wich will bring plesure to both of you.good luck to both you and your girlfriend and i hope you both will enjoy
    • rach: January 02, 2009 14:35
      Hey all!

      Really want to try anal with my partner... i think he's up for it, but i also want to try him being on the recieving end of it... i really have NO idea how to bring that up tho.... any ideas? Iv never been close to that area on him before coz i dont want to make him uncomfortable, but i really want to try! HELP!


    • nick: January 02, 2009 21:25
      hi rach
      i can remember when i first asked my wife to try anal some years ago.she agreed to try so long as she can to it to me.and trust me most men if they are honest will not shy away to recieving a bit of anal as well.most men would find that very erotic.so when your man asked you if he can try anal just say ok so long as i can try it on you as well.he might look a bit shocked at first but he will very quickly get over that.start of by having a bath or a shower together.then after get him to massage you with baby oil.now a few things you will need to add to your toy box 1) butt plugs in diffrent sizes or a vibrating plug
      2)a strap on for your self to take your partner 3)most inportant anal lube.after your partner has massarged your body then gat him to lube your anus
      and then repeat the same thing to your partner.then in turn insurt plugs into each others
      anus and continue to make love as you would normaly.this will give the plugs time to help open up your anus and will make anal sex more comfortable for you both.dont worry if it dont go right the first time.as both of you will be trying anal for the first time.in time you will find a level that will work for both of you.and in time the rewards will be mind blowing for the both of you.please forgive me if i have been a bit
      to grafic.but i could not think of any other way of teling you how we got on.even my wife would
      agree we made a right hash of it in the early
      years but now we have some great mind blowing
      sex.i hope this has been of some help rach.good luck and i hope that both you and your partner
      have a good time together.just remember the
      golden rule talk to each other.take your time and
      above all use plenty of lube. have fun


    • rach: January 04, 2009 14:45
      Thanks nick!
      Problem is i was the one who suggested him doing anal with me... so kinda no way to bargain into making him try!
      Last night i told him i wanted to try anal (but only me recieving so far!) and so we had a bit of a play, but no actual anal... it was so sexual tho! Cant wait to actually try it!
    • nick: January 04, 2009 15:42
      hi rach
      dont worry.give it time.you can still play the i want to try it on you card at a later time.give it about a month when both of you are more setteld with anal and your both getting pleasure.it will give you time to buy the toys i suggested and take it from there.i have no doubt in my mind that your partner will be up for it.most if not all men would like there wife /girlfriend to be more domanant in the bedroom men find that a big turn on.who knows it
      might lead to more raunchy antics for you both.good luck rach and i hope all goes well for the both of you


    • Desarae: January 04, 2009 20:49
      I tried anal for the first time a couple weeks ago, it was the worst feeling ever. I read an article that said lying on your back is the best way to try anal for your first time, that is a bunch of BULLSHIT, i felt like my body was in shock and had to get that thing out of me. Does anyone have any suggestions for me, I want to do it so bad but need alittle advice first!!
    • nick: January 04, 2009 21:18
      hi desarae
      the advice that i can give and it will ba the same advise that i have given to some of the good people here.is first of all relax that is most inportant.most people will tence up when they try somthing new for the first time.second thing you must do is buy your self a few butt plugs in diffrent sizes and lengths.make shure they are insurted in slowly.inside of your rectom is a small piece of skin that needs to loosen up using a small butt plug first use plenty of lube and slowly insurt the plug when you feel it getting tight pull back the plug and re insurt it keep doing this untill you can get all of the plug inside of you.when you have done that work up to the next size up plug and do the same thing.
      as you go for bigger plugs the will also help your anus strech out.i would suggest that you put a towel on the bed and leave the plug in place for about an hour this will give your anus time to adjust to having somthing insurted in there. read a book.in the mean time.after this time your body should be ready for anal sex.i would also
      sugest that you go in the doggy position.i have
      found over the years that myself and my wife have been doing anal.is the most easy way (and non
      painfull way of having anal sex.i hope this has been of some help to you.and i hope the next time
      you try anal it will give plesure to both you and your partner good luck


    • jamie: January 26, 2009 10:07
      okay all, i have "accidentally" been penitrated in the anus a couple of times i am worried it tore me a bit because they were not gental. My boy friend now i do deeply trust but i am afraid i will cause more damage than pleasure should i just not try it because it wont seem to heal or will i be okay to try again i dont want to perminately have painful shits lol. also i doubt a girl can orgasim by this form of sex please let me know.
    • nick: January 26, 2009 13:26
      hi jamie
      first off i would recomend that you see your doctor first to check if there has been any damage.just to be on the safe side.in time any damage will heal.however.both you and your partner must learn how to have anal sex. witch is both safe for you both.i would recomend that you read all of the posts.that have been placed here by all the good people that have pratice safe anal sex.and i would also recomend that you read the sart of this page by love honey.and yes a woman can have orgasim while having anal sex.there are a few books also on the market that
      deals with the plesure of anal.have your
      boyfriend read it as well.ihope this has been of some help to you.and i hope that it has not totaly put you off anal.good luck and i hope all
      goes weel for the both of you.
    • Cat and Andy: February 27, 2009 23:02
      Yeyyy horrayyy for anal sexxxx
    • nick: February 27, 2009 23:39
      hi cat and andy
      yes both myself and my wife totaly agree with you.you cant beat it.i have just reread my last post and i cant belive i made that meany typing errors so sorry about that.we hope both your self and your partners enjoy safe and enjoyable anal


    • desarae: February 27, 2009 23:45
      Just wanted to say thanks for the advice. I never thought i would enjoy anal sex as much as i do. Experimenting with the butt plugs was the greatest experience. If anyone is thinking about trying this i strongly agree with what you told me. Thank you sooooo much, oh ya and my boyfriend says thanks too!!LOL
    • nick: March 01, 2009 18:47
      hi desarae
      my plesure.i am so pleased for you both.i hope that both of you have meany years of anal plesure together.and


    • Nervous boyfriend !: April 23, 2009 03:57
      Man in need of help ! my girl friend is all fore the anal sex. Me on the other hand am nervous. Just fooling around if you know what i mean. i would barley penetrate my finger up there. Just enjoying the time at first she asked me to stop and then soon after she was asking me to try anal sex i was in shock but glad fooling around got her into it. Guess you could call me and her "closet" anal fans.
      If any one still post's on this im in need of some tips.
      I read the article at the top of the page and more so all of the responses.

      Nervous boyfriend in need !

    • nick: April 24, 2009 12:54
      hello nervous boyfried
      the answer to that is dont be.if you follow all the advise that has already been given not only from lovehoney but the good people that have already posted there comments.then you cant go wrong
      i will give you some golden rules about the dos and dont of anal sex is should help you.

      1) both of you should make sure that both of you are clean (sorry for being crude but it is inportant) under the fourskin and behind your helmet
      and the anal entrance
      2) use plenty of lube this is most inportant as you can cause damage or riping of the anal tussue
      3) buy diffrent size butt plugs start of with a small one first then work your way to a larger one.use plenty of lube on the anus and the butt plug insurt the plug into her anus it first you will feel the plug getting tighter and wont go any further.remover the plug and go in again.inside the anus is a pice of skin tissue.if torn can cause bleading get your partner to relax and not tence up that way to will make the plug more easy to insurt. the main use of butt plugs is it help open up the anus.and stops
      any pain you girlfriend might have when you enter her with your cock. when you have managed to get a larger size plug into her anus tell her
      to have it left in her for about an hour this will give her body time to adjust
      to have a item insurted in her rectom.


      1) dont rush
      if you go in to hard and to quickly you could cause internal damage as i have described above

      2) dont leave butt plugs or any sex toys out to long after use clean them
      as soon as you can before putting them away any germs can linger on the toys and could cause problems the next time you use them to be on the safe side clean them again before you reuse them

      stick to these golden rules and both you and your partner will have a safe and injoyable anal sex life together i hope this has been of same help i wish you and your girlfriend all the best good luck

    • mary: April 28, 2009 12:55
      I have purchased the dock johnson ejaculating cock from lovehoney can the recipe you provided be used for anal use or what else can be used
    • nick: April 28, 2009 13:06
      you can put in diffrent thigs inside the cock for diffrent uses.you can put cream inside it for oral use and what ever you wish for your vigina.but i would contact love honey direct.just to make sure.i hope this has been of some help
    • Tina: May 14, 2009 19:57
      Wow! This has been very informative reading real peoples anal experiences. It was an area of my body I was not happy being touched. However.....

      My new partner introduced me to the pleasures. We need to buy some toys now to take the new pleasures to the next level!

      To say it was erotic is an understatement!

    • nick: May 15, 2009 23:29

      hi tina

      and welcome to the club. i am so glad that you found the pleasures of anal .and as you say can be very erotic just follow the post that some of the good people here have added and with your new toys.will have meany happy years of enjoyable encounters with your partner.if you have any questions please ask and we will be more than happy to help

      best wishes


    • BrightEyes89: May 21, 2009 13:08
      I just wanted to say that I was new to the whole anal thing, but aslong as your partner is willing to take things slowly then it is amazing!
      also for those that are nervous, something that I tried is going on top and being in control of how much enters me at any one time, this means that if it hurts I can stop. I also like my boyfriend to play with my clit at the same time as this helps me to relax
      Now my boyfriend would like to be on the receiving end, and I just wanted some advice. Any ideas what are good straps ons?
    • nick: May 22, 2009 19:31
      hi brighteyes
      it is good to see a young couple who have found the joys of anal sex.and it is good to here that your partner wishes to recive as well.the only advise i can give to you is keep on doing what you are doing now and you should be ok. if in doubt scroll back and read the other peoples comments about how they got enjoyment from anal.if you look in the love honey site and indeed any other sites that sells strap ons.have a look with your partner to find out how long and wide he is willing to take.and find one that will feel happy with.i hope you find what you are looking for and have meany years of happy anal together
    • moongazer: May 22, 2009 20:41
      After reading all the above comments, most of which contain very good advice, I would just like to add the following. (1) Do NOT use any of the de-sensitizing lubes. I am sorry that Love Honey still sells them, as everyone agrees that they are NOT a good idea. Pain is there for a purpose, and should not just be masked. (2) Remember that anything, finger, vibrator or penis, that has been in the anus or rectum must NOT go anywhere near the vagina or clitoris until it has been thoroughly cleaned (or covered with a condom). Fecal matter is full of bacteria, and if the vagina gets infected your partner will not thank you. Remember, front to back during foreplay and sex, never back to front. (3 )Keep your finger nails very short, very clean and carefully filed smooth at the corners if you are going to penetrate her anus. (And women with long varnished nails should NEVER try to penetrate anyone this way.) (4) By far the best position for a woman to relax in is "spoons", with one of the man's hands guiding his penis and the other giving clitoral stimulation It's much more affectionate than "doggy" and easier for the man to enter very slowly. And clitoral stimulation will help the woman to want more and more as she nears orgasm. Have fun
    • sarah: May 24, 2009 16:13
      what about if you have ever had a hemorrhoid? is it still safe? after 2 kids, i have 2 very small external bits of skin that once were hemorrhoids, but seem fairly symptomless and benign now. my husband and i tried anal for the first time a few days ago, and both really liked it, but i'm worried about any further damage in the area if it becomes a regular part of our sex life. one day after doing anal i can feel a bit of swelling, but no pain or anything. Anyone out there doing anal with these issues?
    • sarah: May 24, 2009 16:21
      P.S. i really, really want to do it again. it was amazing and i know it gets even better! i'm just worried that if i irritate anything that's been laying low back there, i'll end up totally wrecked and in need or surgery or something... advice?? is it okay???
    • nick: May 25, 2009 16:21
      hi sarah
      if in doubt talk to your doctor about it.just for peace of mind.then you can enjoy anal.with out fear of any problem.my wife had the same as you meany years ago not long after she gave birth to our daughter.and because.my wife still wanted to enjoy our lifestyle she went to her g.p she did have minor surgery to remove some of the tissue that was left over after her hemorrhoid.and was able to enjoy anal again two weeks after the op.but it can be diffrent from woman to woman so book an appontment with your g.p and if you have to go in for an opp 9 times out of 10 you will be in and out of hospital in a day.good luck and i hopw it all goes well for you and you can soon get back to somthing you enjoy
    • Jynxii: June 11, 2009 10:23
      I have been trying to prepare fro anal from my fiance for a few weeks now, he doesnt know yet. We have mentioned it a couple of times but never really tried it...i am kind of affraid to have him in me because he is a bit larger than the vibrator i have been using and i am still having that "bathroom feeling!!" HELP ME.....I really do want to be able to try anal with him soon!!!!
    • BrightEyes89: June 11, 2009 18:25
      Hey Jinxi,

      I wouldn't worry, my boyfriend is rather on the large side too, but if you take it slow and stop if you're unsure then you will be fine :)

      Also then it comes to the toilet feeling, I would just say, if you feel like u might need to go then stop and go, thats what I do. Its normal to have the feeling, and you will find that for 99% of the time its nothing, just because you're not used to it.

      Have fun :D

    • Jinxi: June 12, 2009 07:57
      Ok thank you so much BrightEyes89, i will try to take your advice...i have one more question now...why the condom, if i know he doesnt have any sort of disease for sure because we have been tested then is the condom neccisary?
    • nick: June 14, 2009 14:04
      hi jinxi
      allthough you may both have been tested for any forms of disease..with out a condom you both still run the risk of catching some form of germ.if any one of you has not cleaned.the parts of the body .ie smegma behind the helmet of the cock or a good clean of the anal area.both of these carries some form of germ and can be transmited.my wife dont like the feel of a condom.so she cleans her anus with a douch or an enama.i i make sure that my parts are clean as well.with helth and higine you can have a great anal sex.if you or your partner do not like condoms
    • MAMBY: June 17, 2009 23:29
      HI.. both me n hubby enjoy anal now and again.. we've experimented a little with my fingers inside him and actually got him a prostate massager which love honey used to have called Pandora.. he thoroughly enjoyed the sensations he had with that inserted and me riding him on top.. we both had shower first to make sure we were both clean and he'd shaved round his anus to ensure nothin 'caught' on entry so to speak..

      we've used it several times now and we've upgraded to a strap-on and dildo albeit a slim one til he's used to it.. he's 100% straight but likes the idea of occasional anal on him and as long as plenty of lube is used - on both of us - it is a very enjoyable experience.. relax, lube up and enjoy.. ;o)

    • nick: June 18, 2009 22:13

      hi mamby
      it is so nice that couples can enjoy anal together and both get enjoyment and pleasure from it..and it would seam that anal is more popular than it was ten years ago and it was a tabo subject that was done behined closed doors..it is good now that subjects like anal are spoken more openly.and anal is now regarded as norm.it is also good that whe have fourms such as this where we can exchange experance.and more inportanly help people who are new to anal and would like to learn more about it .and i feel that we can provide a service to people. who can cause a lot of damage if they do it wrong.and i know that there are a lot of good people who have added there views and in return have helped new couples enjoy a new depth to there relationship..mamby has sumed it up very well relax lube up and enjoy

    • antman: June 19, 2009 02:42
      hi everyone,
      me and my girlfriend enjoy amazing sex life but we have never tried anal because she dosent want to (and wont tell me why). i have played with her bum with my fingers before but she says she doesnt want anything else and that she never feels it. would it be better to leave the topic alone or is there a way i could make it possible to enjoy it?
    • LoveHoney - Carly: June 19, 2009 11:13

      Everyone may be better off posting in the actual LoveHoney Community rather than on this very long thread! That way you can find the answers to your questions quickly and receive some wonderful advice from similar thinking sex toy users!

      Look, there's even a specially dedicated section for anal: www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/orgasm-army/anal-sex-toys/

      Have fun!

    • nick: June 19, 2009 23:34

      hi antman
      it is possable that your girlfriend has had some experance with anal with a past partner and it might have been not so good if she had tried it with sombody with little or no experance.and is to shy or to ashamed to admit that she had tried it in the past.try sitting down and talk to her about it and above all be understanding of her feelings if you do that she might open up to you a bit more and then get to the root of why she dont want to try full anal sex.i wish you good luck and i hope that both of you can move foward and your girlfriend can relax more and who knows if you follow that golden rules to good anal both of you might find the joys of anal together
    • kaybaby<3: July 01, 2009 16:16
      My first time experience with anal was different than most people's it seems like. My boyfriend and I just tried anal for the first time about 3 weeks or so ago. We had spent months hinting at it and skating around the topic. We often talk dirty to each other on the phone, almost everyday. And it reached the point that during our daily phone "sexcapades" we always talked dirty about him effin me in my butt. It was such a turn on; just talking about it while I masturbated would make me come. So we decided to try it for real. We decided to go to a neutral place where neither of us would feel uncomfortable....a hotel :) But as the day we agreed on got closer and closer, I got more and more nervous. Almost a little scared. I just couldn't imagine what it was going to be like. My boyfriend, on the other hand, didn't seem nervous at all. At least not until *right* before. We were in the room laying on the bed. He started out by playing with my nipples and eating my pussy. He ran his tongue down to my asshole. Then he started fingering me. While he was fingering me, he slipped his pinky finger down and ran it around in circles around the outside of my anus. Then he pushed it up inside of me. After that, he licked all the way from my clit down to my anus while I laid there on my back. Then he stuck his tongue inside of my asshole. Omgosh, that feeling....to this day, it still makes me come nearly every time!! Then he would penetrate my pussy with his hard cock. He kept alternating back and forth, back and forth, between effin me and licking/eating me. Finally, I turned over on my stomach on the bed and he slid his dick into my asshole. At first he only slid the head in. Then he slid in about another inch. The third time, he slid the rest of his cock deep inside me, but he didn't pound. He just held it there for a little while. He was so afraid of hurting me that I had to move back and forth on his dick and beg him to start sliding in and out of me! But it wasn't painful for me at all!! At first, it was slightly uncomfortable, kinda like wearing a tampon was for the first time. But it didn't hurt anywhere near as bad as when I lost my vaginal virginity. So I guess I got all nervous for nothing! We've done it a few more times since then, but I wouldn't recommned doing it too much. For me, as pleasurable as I find it to be, if I do it more than 2 or 3 times a week, I start to get a little bit tender around my anus. My next surprise for him is going to be when I lick and maybe even finger his asshole. Wish us luck!! :-)
    • bigZ: July 12, 2009 21:58
      My wife and I both love anal, butshe never lets me near unless she has had a good internal wash, I also love licking around and inside her anus ,
      i uesd to see flavoured anal lubes advertised but have not seen them recently
    • LoveHoney - Carly: July 13, 2009 09:24
      Although not strictly an 'anal only' lubricant, Sliquid Swirl is an amazingly thick, super-slippery water-based lube that tastes fantastic! It comes in Green Apple Tart, Blue Raspberry and Cherry Vanilla flavour - yum!

      You can see the Swirl range here: www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11374

    • Ash: July 30, 2009 19:58
      I want to try anal sex with my girlfriend,we have joked about it for sometime, and i have brought it up with her, and she seems quite put off. She has read some articles on Lovehoney, and is feeling better about it all.She told me "alcohol vibe condom" and we can give it a shot!
      I still feel that she isnt really up for it, and i need to make her feel mroe confident. does anyone have any advice for me, and anythign i couldsay to her or talk to her about to make her feel mroe comfortable?
      She has had one my fingers in during regular sex, but doesnt know if she enjoyed it or not.
      Please help me out!
      PS - im happy to have her slip a finger in me too! Only fair if i try it aswell.
    • LucyLou: August 07, 2009 14:05
      ive had anal sex before but the guy was actually quite small and thin,so i could barely feel it. i want to have anal with my fiance, im just worried about anything being left on him or any smell. anyone got an suggestions, i cant afford to buy any anal douches, please help!!!
    • Deanthedog: August 17, 2009 19:05
      hey all, me and my parterner have spoke to each other and i have told her i like to give and take anal but from the start of our relationship i found out i wouldent be able to give her anal till he psoriasis cleared up as its in that area but id still like her to take controll and pleasure me there is there anyone that could help me,should i buy her a strapon,some anal toys thanx all
    • LoveHoney - Carly: August 17, 2009 22:12
      LucyLou, the safest and most hygienic way to clean up before anal sex is with an anal douche. These get to all the hard to reach areas and make you feel ready to take on the world - or at least your boyfriend! They're not very expensive either and with proper cleaning, they can be used again and again.
      Our cheapest is just £7.99 and it's highly rated by all who use it: www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8457
    • analsexouch!: August 24, 2009 21:40
      hey my partner wants to try anal sex and i really want to aswell as i think it would be fun but he would be grossed out about sticking his fingers up my arse is there any other way that i can do this without shoving things inside first?x
    • LoveHoney - Carly: August 25, 2009 08:58
      Why not start by playing with your perineum? This is the area between the vaginal opening and the anus with lots of sensitive nerve endings. If you enjoy having your perineum stroked and teased with vibrations, you may enjoy anal sex!

      If you decide that you want to indulge in anal sex, douche to make sure you're nice and clean, use condoms, use lubes and take it slowly!

      This very blog post has lots of information - just take a look!


    • Ansa: September 10, 2009 20:31
      I wish I could convince my wife to try anal properly, she sometimes les me do it, but never tries enjoying it and only think s it can only be painful. This is because sheme to rush andf she stays clenched throughout. She wont even let me use lube for some reason. I know wan enjoy it like soman ohcouples but I hus nee o gt oental block about it. WHAT SHOULD I DO! As I really love it and only want to do it with her.

      Plase Advise

    • marmite: September 11, 2009 00:30
      hi my partner is wanting to try anal and im up for it as iv tried before and liked it. i trim my pubic hair regulary but im wanting it completely gone is there any hair removal cream i can use before we go ahead with the goodly deed
      many thanks
    • LoveHoney - Carly: September 11, 2009 08:43
      Hi Ansa,

      If your wife doesn't enjoy anal then she doesn't enjoy anal! At the end of the day, she doesn't HAVE to like it and the fact that she indulges you in it occasionally is a sign that she's willing to do things she may not enjoy to keep you happy. Insist on using lots of lubricant next time, go slowly and be gentle. It may not feel orgasmic for her but it will be slightly better!

      Marmite, why don't you take a look at some of the hair removal creams on LoveHoney: www.lovehoney.co.uk/store.cfm?cat=1349 You could also go for a full waxing - it lasts longer and delivers professional results!

    • Lonecat: September 25, 2009 03:56
      God this is good to see - wish this blog was around a few years ago!! I first tried anal when I was in my twenties - it went horribly wrong, my bf went in too quickly and omg did it hurt and put me off for a few years!! It wasn't until I got together with someone far more experienced than me that I tried again, I have found that holding my partners shaft as he goes in initially really helps as I feel in control, once he is all the way in its fine and I find really hard makes me cum in a whole different way from vaginal penetration. The big thing is communication and trust - without these there isn't a hope - oh and being prepared for it not going right no matter how many times you have done it! In ten years of experience I can disclose that it still sometimes doesn't feel right or just doesnt go in for whatever reason - when that happens me and my bf just shrug it off and embark on a different activity!

      My advice - relax, take it at your own pace (ladies), be patient (gents) and have fun - it really is worth percivering for :)

    • zach: October 14, 2009 13:36
      my fiance and i have tried anal sex before. but after reading these posts i reallize that we were doin it wrong. we tried the desensitizing lubes and that seemed to make it better that at the time but resulted in problems later. like trouble using the bathroom and such. and ive let her try it on me with a a vibrator. and i really like it and she seems to also. she says it makes my penis vibrate. lol. but we both seem to like that. i just wish there was some way to show her how pleasurable it can be. but like i said after reading some of these posts i have some new things to try and hopefully i can get her to read them as well and maybe that will make her feel a little better about the whole thing. thanks guys for all the insight. wish you all a long happy life and as i know i will have. hopefully with the addition of anal in the bedroom.
    • Scared Girl: October 26, 2009 11:00
      At the begining of my relationship i used to do anal quite alot with my boyfriend. He absolutely love it! But im not quite so keen and i find it painfull even with lots of lube and my boyfriend tends to thrust extremely hard and fast and he is nearly 7".
      We stopped for a long time as we had an accident at one point and well things were a bit messy. I was mortified! but my boyfriend reacted well but it still upset me.
      This incident has put me off completely and my boyfriend regularly asks for anal and i always say no because of the incident and because of the amount of discomfort i feel.
      Ive recently allowed him to insert 1 finger inside me but even then i get scared and paranoid and he has to take it out.
      I really want to try anal again but i cant get past my fears.
      Is there any positions for anal that make things more comfortable?
      Should he be thrusting so fast or should he be slower?
      Is there any way i can avoid an incident like last time?
      Will it ever be pleasurable? (ive never had any pleasure whatsoever with anal sex)
      Can my body get used to having a large penis inside me?
      I need some advice.
    • LoveHoney - Carly: November 03, 2009 08:40
      Hi Scared Girl,

      There's some brilliant advice at the top of this page in the blog entitled 'Five Easy Steps to First-Time Anal Sex'. Why not give it a quick read? It should answer all your questions!

    • eduardo beujon: November 26, 2009 17:47
      Hi my name is eduardo! I have the same problem with my boyfriend!!! I ues my fingers but he wants to do it the hard way!, strap on's, lube, pink dildos and fisting! I need sugestions!?
    • LoveHoney - Ruth: November 27, 2009 11:37
      Hi Eduardo

      Take a peek through the blog post again. As it says, start small. Don't move on to anything bigger unless you feel comfortable with the thought and don't forget to use plenty of lube.

    • kate: March 26, 2010 04:53
      i lost my anal virginity 4 days ago 2 my fiance. he has wanted 2 since we met but i always said no. then i thought well y not. and i loved it. he was well lubed and really gentle and it felt amazing. :)
    • zach: March 26, 2010 11:29
      Hi kate. i just want you both to know how lucky you are that you both enjoyed it the first time. my wife and i have tried many times over the past couple months still unsuccessfully. she says i am too big and i hurt her. we start small and lots of lube i just dont fit. we have toys the only thing
      left is we are goin to get some butt plugs this weekend to see if maybe that will help. if anyone else has any suggestions please help us out.
    • Louise: March 29, 2010 14:08
      Everytime me and my boyfriend try anal sex it so sore and uncomfortable. I dont even like it when he uses his fingers to start of with. We have done it before and i disliked every minute of it. I dont find it pleasurable at all. I know it makes my boyfriend happy and im willing to do it for him even though i dont like it.
      Is there anyway it can be less sore? He isnt exactly small.
      I just want to make my partner happy.
      Any advice would be great.
    • Gaz: April 03, 2010 18:12
      I love it when my fiance plays with my bum and slips a finger in, we always use lube but after a few minute i get very hot around my anus, a slight feeling like friction burn but we are both covered in lube.
      i love the feeling of the penertration and the deepness but have to stop cause of the heat situation.
      any ideas what this is or how to stop it. also how do i aproach the idea of her using a strap-on on me with out scaring her off?
    • Kate: April 04, 2010 20:58
      i know it sounds gross but the first time with my fiance. he fucked my pussy 4 2 hours 1st when i was on so i was rly relaxed and he was rly lubed up. he waited until i told him that i was ready to try it. make sure she is laying on her front with her legs apart and DON'T pressure her into it. me and my man tryed it wen we 1st got 2gether and omg it hurt. but then he waited until i was ready and relaxed and it felt amazing. good luck x
    • LOUISE: August 01, 2010 17:10
    • The convert: September 04, 2010 17:30
      I really didn't want to try anal at all. I only did it as i wanted to pleasure my partner. It hurt like crazy. I found after a night out and very drunk i was more at ease.
      What i find really helps is when we have sex and he uses the juices from my vagina and smears them over my anus.Then he will go down on me and give me oral. It gets me so excited. That by this time there is lots of my juices and spit. He lubes his penis up and me as well with KY, (Which they don't recommend using on here so i may get some of the correct lube) . The whole time stimulating my nipples by sucking and manually.
      The most comfortable position for me is on my back, this way he can read my responses on my face and gage when to penetrate further and he can continue to stimulate my breasts.
      He will then slip in the tip and leave for a few minutes. I find the 1st couple of centimetres the worst to begin with. Once he starts to penetrate me further i cant feel it as much. I usually ask him to go deeper as then it becomes comfortable. He then leaves it in for a few seconds for me to acclimatise to his penis. Then he will stimulate me manually by flicking his index finger over my clit (Flicking the bean) This sent me crazy and if i'm tilted against him with my legs really spread the friction is so intense. That i want move movement, which he finds difficult to do as by this point he usually wants to ejaculate.
      The last 3 times we have done it i climaxed so have actually started asking for anal which he finds hilarious. As i really hated it. I'm a true convert. It feels so good we have both climaxed together which for me was incredible. He finds the climax much more intense this way.

      You must take it slow and just lie ther with it in you, ask him not to move at all. and you do all the tilting with your hips.

    • jenny: September 13, 2010 08:11
      as a Tv I enjoy being used as a woman and enjoy giving and receiving anal sex with willing partners both male and female
    • Dan: September 26, 2010 16:11
      Anal is amazing. I am straight but every lover I have asked was curious if I was gay, its very annoying!
    • gordy: October 03, 2010 13:04
      well ive had anal ,i tried it solo i am straight but love my anal region caressed i purchased a anal douche from lovehoney ,condom,s and butt plugs and havent looked back ,next step getting my wife into it thank you for a wonderfull shop and site and all the hints and tips gordy x
    • moe: January 11, 2011 15:14
      before the "relaxing bath" you should first use the toilet to "empty the chamber"
    • dude: March 01, 2011 21:05
      i'm a boy .. and i was nearly 15 when i first experienced anal sex ... my boyfriend was using a oil-based lubricant .. which i got used to it .. after 10 years i read and article about the water-based lubricants .. i tried them .. and i felt more better .. i even became more demanding for anal sex ... any way .. i'm advicing you all to use water-based lubricants .. it makes you feel very good in the anal sex process ..
    • curious: March 28, 2011 00:40
      i really enjoy anal sex but after my man has ejaculated inside me i have a horrible few hours of slight diarrhea and his sperm tricklin out. I love the sex but hate this after effect..... does everyone else have this too? and are there any tips to stop this apart from him not ejaculation inside me?
    • CuriousGeorge: May 08, 2011 05:44
      Ok so me and my fiance are really into trying anal(giving&receiving) but the most he's gotten in me was a couple of fingers and the head of his cock but I've gotten my whole dildo We call pinky in him. I really wanna get him inside of me and he will no longer let me penetrate him until he can do it to me but he's so thick and im so tight that I don't see it happening=( could the fact that im pregnant be an issue with me not being able to handle the pain??
    • Beautiful: June 13, 2011 22:23
      My boyfriend n I tried anal it was a little painful to me. I'm willling to try again for da sprak n da relationship remember ladys what we won't do for our men another woman will. So jus keep tryin til u get!!!!
    • Amanda: September 12, 2011 05:22
      I have done anal sex done to me a few times and have enjoyed it, the key is to lie on your side and back into him so that you can control how much you take in :-) Feels quite tight to begin with but you'll enjoy it once you get the hang of it.

      For the 1st time the other night I inserted a toy into my new partners anus, and I found it a huge turn on to think I was hitting his G spot. He really enjoyed it too, and we had a fantastic night.

    • megan: December 08, 2011 16:32
      So, i just stumbled upon this today and it's definitely helped clear my mind of the taboo of anal. I've been married for four years and we recently tried experimenting with it, we got it to work once, but since then I haven't been able to relax enough to do it again. What do you do to make that area more relaxed?
    • christian: May 23, 2012 21:22
      Hey guys!
      ive always wanted to fck my girlfriend in her anal. We tried it once.
      But she said it hurt a bit. I couldnt afford buying lub so we did it with just
      Her saliva and her pussy juice.
      We did it and cum inside her! Dats good feeling but she never let me do it again!
      she said shes too scared and i dont wna be a bad guy to force her.
      Can any1 tell me a way to make her feel that it would a good sexual intercourse.
      Since all we do is just do diff positions and its getting BORING!!!!
    • Nikki25: July 02, 2012 20:26
      So very nervous :-/ tonight is the night - we've been taking all of your tips for weeks and weeks and tonight my husband and I have decided to go for it... But I am sooooo nervous :( we've been together for 7 years and I love anal play..... But still...... So so so so nervous :( I don't want to get drunk I want to know I can enjoy it but I know I can't do this if I'm worked up....
    • Mr Styxxx: August 30, 2012 18:26
      Hi everyone.
      I have been enjoying anal g spot multiple orgasms for 15 years and I am a heterosexual male who finally accepted that it doesnt make me gay to enjoy anal with my wife. The secret to good anal is lots of foreplay by which time the sphincter muscle is already halfway open. I am not suggesting this will work for everyone but I love rimming my wifes ass and when I am finished that which is almost like tender kissing she opens up like an orchid and where I would have struggled to put a small finger 30 minutes ago I could now probably get three in without touching the sides. The discomfort that one feels initially is only due to the forced opening of this muscle. If you can tease it to open of its own volition then the job is done. There are practically no pain nerve endings inside the anus itself except around the prostate in men. All the other nerves are in or around the sphincter and the stimulation is caused by the friction of the insertion and the muscle. Its a bit like LSD. If your first trip is a bad one you will never try it again and that is a sin. If you take your time and do not put yourself under pressure as so many on here seem to be doing then it will be a life changing experience especially for the males of our species. Enjoy.
    • Nathan: December 19, 2012 12:21
      I used to do anal solo plenty of lube kneeling was the best position I found whilst masturbating but that was before the better half came along, when I asked if she would like to try anal she was a bit against it but after we used plenty of lube and taking it slow she loved it, now every know and again she sticks a finger up my ass wanking me off/sucking me off is fantastic, we're still trying to get me used to a dildo going up there but i feel like a need a number 2 mid way through and then that kills the mood, as for a few comments on here do not be worried about stool samples being withdrawn i have never had this problem on the other half it is always clean when ever i withdraw, and the thing about diarrhoea mixed with sperm not much u can do with that unless you don't cum up there and your going to get the runs due to the amount of fluid mixed up their with the lose poo. just remember relax, lube and enjoy if you dont enjoy it then you will never explore that area of love making ,if done correctly it is absolutely amazing merry Christmas everyone :)
    • lyn: March 03, 2013 23:00
      many many years ago i tried anal and enjoyed it, we didnt really know anything about it and didnt use lube! he was rough one day and later after finding that i kept bleeding, seeing a doctor i found he had torn me, the tear still bleeds occasionally if i get badly constipated! i have a new man in my life and he is twice the size of my late husband! i have used beads and small butt plugs for years but am nervous of causing further problems but so want to enjoy anal with him
    • still lost: March 22, 2013 07:54
      My husband and I recently got married but have been together for a while, I have been wanting to try anal sex now for a while and I love it when he uses his fingers especially while going down on me, But recently we got some lube and tried anal, and even as his head had just entered I tightened up so badly, and it was painfull just to have his head in! Is there anyway to avoid the pain? Or to atleast relax your body enough to let him enter?
    • G: May 27, 2013 20:52
      I split up with my first wife about 8 years ago and now I'm married again. In between, there was one g/f who liked it and I tried it with her. Unfortunately, she put me off it because of hygiene/smell. Now, I'm married to someone who is stunningly gorgeous, with an amazing body, perfect skin, and we basically have the best sex I've ever had in my life. About 2 months into our marriage, she suggested we try anal, and because I love her, I tried. It was a totally different experience which was amazing for both of us. SInce then, we alternate vaginal and anal sex with Double Penetration and we both have amazing orgasms. This is all, as many on here have already said, about love and trust. It's also about being sexually compatible. My stunning wife finds me stunning in my own right. Mismatch in looks, mismatch in emotions, in intelligence etc will always pose problems when it comes to love and sex. You need to be equals and that also includes equally interested in each other and what you're doing. My wife doesn't smell, and is always clean. If you're with the right person, everything and anything is perfect.
    • Anonymous: November 01, 2013 11:42
      I was always mega grossed out by anal sex until one day I was unbelievably horny and told my boyfriend I'd give anything he wanted to try a go. It hurt at first but plenty of lube and as he speeded up (hims standing up and me in doggy position on the edge of the bed) it was better but still in the back of my head thinking how gross it was.
      After going over everything in my head all throughout the next day I had a strong urge to try it again the following day, and it was AMAZING. The best advice I can give is go ontop and lean forwards into his chest and it feels great.
      I still prefer normal sex on a regular basis but as a filthy treat saved or a dirty day it's definitely an experience to be involved in
    • naughty andy: December 17, 2013 02:18
      STILL LOST . Response anal takes time ! my tips do doosher thing twice inbath moving slowly between loo be sure to lube things/you up on way then use beads or i use now lovehoney anal probe, beginners one . recommend get one! and playtime in bath and cleaned and ready for it .my case punishment must be good boy ! do butt plug plugging or start with vibrator first small then bigger u should be ready to be done and relaxed entry should be nicely done with you doing the movements not them until fully inserted then let them fuck you!!!! have safety words or tapping out rules.–recommend if gagged
      lets play nice, enjoy!
    • gill: January 23, 2014 03:42
      I love anal sex .but my wife didn't like this.after two year our marriage I convince her.first time we try sh feel lot of pain but I do very slow with lot of lube but she was not comfortable. Then I get idea I told her OK you can try put your finger in my ass .when she putt finger in my ass it was really painful. But I told her its OK .then she got some confidence .and ready to do and now we are enjoying a lot .its amazing
    • gill: January 23, 2014 03:55
      I love anal sex .but my wife didn't like this.after two year our marriage I convince her.first time we try sh feel lot of pain but I do very slow with lot of lube but she was not comfortable. Then I get idea I told her OK you can try put your finger in my ass .when she putt finger in my ass it was really painful. But I told her its OK .then she got some confidence .and ready to do and now we are enjoying a lot .its amazing
    • sex me: August 29, 2014 23:38
      Hi I been married for 10 years my wife always refused reciving anal or to give me back the funny is she maid me buy it after that she refuse to do it for me even I like her to lick my ass and do fingering my ass she wont do it so im looking for anyone to help me do it with me thx
    • RMz`: January 21, 2015 21:37
      all of you are sick minded people
    • mark: April 05, 2015 21:42
      Hi, my girlfriend is out of action for around 6 weeks due to some sort of women troubles. We only ever have normal sex. I have a very high sex drive and not sure I can go that long without it. I have suggested anal sex on a few occasions but I'm not getting anywhere with it really. Any suggestions of how I can reassure her it won't be as bad as she thinks.
    • roy: May 21, 2015 04:53
      when I was married I really enjoyed my wife use her dildo on me but now that im single and when I use the dildo im not doing a good job it don't feel that good
    • the tarland poof: November 30, 2015 15:16
      I like it up the dunger , but nae as good as a coo licking yer erse ,
    • Melissa: January 16, 2017 23:29
      I found I love anal sex but I wanna introduce it to my hubby. Hes very opposed. I want him to enjoy sex as much as me. Any ideas?
    • Sammi - Lovehoney: January 23, 2017 14:55
      Hi Melissa,

      Thanks for your question. To find out more about how to ask for anal sex, please check out this video from resident Lovehoney expert, Jess Wilde: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou8tbjyIqXI



    • brian: January 30, 2017 13:29
      my wife loves anal sex and has now bought me a beginners butt plug so i can try it for myself.. looking forward to it
    • mitch: March 22, 2017 14:30
      I absolutely adore giving or receiving anal sex. Just bought a strap on to use on my husband, nearly as good as fisting.
      Just remember, plenyt of lube to stop the burning sensation when you first try Once you've had anal sex you will want it again and again