1. Sex toys ruined my marriage!

    Most of you use our toys - even the Fleshlight - together, and manage to make everything from the Ass Shaker to the Snowman Spanking Paddle part of a stable, loving relationship. On the strength of a couple of reviews we've seen recently on Orgasm Army, though, it looks like some of you might be getting a little too close to your toys. Better watch out, or you'll end up slavering over Serenity's Perfect Feet. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. We present these reviews in the spirit of humour and full disclosure about the toy mania that can strike anyone - anywhere…

    New sex toy review - Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager

    "A good lube such as ID MILLENNIUM silicone-based is ideal for use with the Pandora.

    First lube your anus and the tip of Pandora, press on the button at the base and choose your vibration setting from constant vibrating to short pulsating blasts… I like the pulsating setting. Slowly insert with the tip pointing towards your your belly button and your lubed anus should be relaxed at this point to take all of Pandara.

    Pandora should find its way to your prostate with little encouragement and is also one of the safest prostate G-spot stimulators. You also never have to worry about it slipping all the way in with its protective curved wings which are also designed to stimulate the area between your anus and your scrotum.

    I use it as a treat during masturbation where I sometimes have a better orgasm than with my partner. With Pandora inserted in pulsating mode my orgasms last a lot longer and produce more come in volume.

    My problem now is introducing it to my partner and letting her know that my orgasms are stronger when I use Pandora…

    I have enjoyed sleeping with Pandora inserted in my anus. Spending one night in bed with Pandora was a night to remember: I had my usual night's sleep and woke with my usual erection, the only difference being that my briefs were covered in come and I was feeling extremely horny at that time of day. I could not believe I had a wet dream at the age of 35, although that's the only way to explain the wet briefs.

    As I went to the loo I slowly removed Pandora whilst sitting on the toilet and from that moment on for the rest of the day I had an all-over tingling, sensitive to the touch feeling and was still very horny."

    New sex toy review - Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock Double Penetrator

    "I remember that warm midsummer day this past July when my wife came home and said something about already being wet as she tore into the UPS package and removed the Vac-U-Lock Double Penetrator.

    I was horrified when I noticed that my own .. um .. Johnson .. was a perfect match for the anal stimulator. The girth .. the shape .. it was uncanny. I thought that it would be useful during foreplay - until each time I tried to work myself in she literally shoved me back.

    I haven't been able to experience anything apart from the southpaw strut since. What's worse .. I'll tell you what's worse .. hearing my wife complain about the size of the anal stimulator. I hate you Doc Johnson!"