1. Build your perfect sex partner

    Serenity's Perfect FeetRemember Weird Science? Inspired by Victor Frankenstein's ill-advised stitch-up efforts but don't fancy unwelcome visits from local law enforcement concerned by your nocturnal graveyard visits?

    Lovehoney looks kindly on bedroom scientists, and recognises that those of you looking for a challenge may be less interested in our sex doll range than in putting something together yourselves. We've noticed that if you put together enough of our male masturbators you'll pretty much have a complete, entire person, which you can then take apart and reassemble to your heart's content.

    Let's start at the bottom: Serenity's Perfect Feet, moulded from porn star Serenity's feet (duh!), are described as 'essential if you're into toe sucking and nibbling' by one enraptured punter.

    Moving up to the business end, why not treat yourself to a Doc Johnson Jenna Jameson UR3 Vagina and Ass, again moulded on a porn star's parts but this time complete with a ten-speed advanced controller including vibrate, pulsate, surge, escalate and rollercoaster functions - something for every mood.

    Up further, you could stick with the same manufacturer and same star for the ultimate in compatible body parts with Doc Johnson Jenna's UR3 Breasts, a lifesize pair guaranteed to give you hours of fondling fun.

    Still further up you could try letting the stark black rubber of the Cock Locker Fist Dildo throw the rest of your hastily thrown together plastic partner into stark relief.

    Doc Johnson Mouth Palm Pal Last but not least you'll need to give your creation a voice, or at the very least a mouth, with a sex toy like the Doc Johnson UR3 Mouth Palm Pal - which looks a little like a pink glove puppet but offers oh so much more fun - or the CyberSkin Cyber Suck, with a more realistic mouth and the crucial addition of a set of nostrils for added sex toy verisimilitude.