1. Dirty words master class: why and how to talk dirty for the first time

    'Get over here now and suck my clit hard, then plough your big, fat fuck-rod dick into my soaking wet pussy mountain.'

    Don't be too shocked by the above statement. We're quite some way off that kind of one-liner for now, but that's exactly what we'll be aiming for in the near future. Surprised?

    If your absolute burning desire is to find out how to tell your lover that they make you 'want to come really hard,' then you're in the wrong place. If you want to know how to tell your lover what makes you come; what you want them to do to you and vice versa; and how to use a plethora of filthy phrases and dirty words to tip your lover over the orgasmic edge in bed, congratulations! You're in the right place.

    By the end of this series, not only will you be fluent in the art of dirty talk, but you will also have a sexual confidence unrivalled to anything you have at the moment.

    You will have so much desire to shower your lover with filthy sexual commands and horny expletives that phrases such as 'I'm gonna suck your humungous fat dick,' or 'finger fuck me in the ass,' or even 'eat me out while I ride your juice-ridden face,' will just slide out of your mouth like a well-lubed cock.

    Mmm, so let's get started.

    Start gently
    Whatever you do, take it easy to begin with. There are some people who take ages to muster the courage to shout out 'lick my tits' in bed. There are others who simply can't wait to try out their new sexy vocabulary on their lover, no matter what the circumstances.

    The problem with shooting your load to soon, so to speak, is that you may end up misjudging the moment and either offending your lover or putting them off entirely with your unexpected barrage of oral filth.

    I've fallen foul of that mistake. I once offended a guy by getting too carried away in the heat of the moment – he thought my dirty talk was a not-so polite way of telling him that he wasn't fucking me right. He couldn't have been more wrong. So don't make the same rookie error that I did. Allow yourself a little preparation and your first dirty words will be much easier to form…. and swallow.

    Setting the scene
    The basic principle of 'setting the scene' applies when you're trying out anything new. After all, sexy lighting, scented candles, some gorgeous underwear, a favourite album and a glass of wine will always help you feel more relaxed and make you and your lover more conducive to erotic experimentation.

    But setting the scene isn't restricted to lighting a few candles and scattering some rose petals on your four-poster bed. It also involves mental preparation. If you're nervous about talking dirty for the first time, it's best to spend some time thinking about what you want to say. If you want to share a sexual fantasy or tell your lover how they could really drive you wild, think about what you're going to say beforehand. That way, you're more confident because you feel prepared; and heightened confidence will make you look, sound and feel sexier, which is a major turn-on for both of you.

    Why talk dirty?
    Past lovers who have been able to communicate their sexual desires, thoughts and fantasies with me have been 100 per cent more adventurous than those who could only manage a few groans and grunts. So if you want a first-class ticket out of sexually mediocrity, start talking dirty!

    It's always a strange sensation when you try something new sexually, especially when you find that you like it. Discovering a new layer to your sexual personality, such as your ability to talk dirty, can be exhilarating for both you and your lover. There's no better way to build up your mutual sexual trust and confidence than gaining the freedom provided through your ability to reciprocate dirty talk with one another. And that's the key when it comes to dirty talk. You both have to give and share, otherwise it won't work.

    Even just thinking about talking dirty to your lover or sounding them out about trying some dirty talk in bed will make you feel horny. Trust me, the topic of dirty talk is an aphrodisiac in itself!

    Example phrases for dirty talk virgins
    We all need a little help from time to time when finding the right buttons to push, so what better place than this to start off your first session of dirty talk? By sharing with your lover and asking them what they love doing and receiving during sex can be extremely erotic, enlightening and empowering for both of you. Nothing will make you feel closer in the bedroom than having the ability to reassure and share with each other through talking about your sexual antics.

    To begin with, start off slowly and keep it simple. Don't get too elaborate with your dirty talk stylings until the both of you feel comfortable with it. When kissing and touching your lover in bed, start off by asking them a question about what you're doing and then ask them another question to elicit a more erotic response. For example, 'Do you like the way I lightly trace my finger over the tip of your penis? What else would you like me to do with my hands?

    Another approach you could try is by telling your lover about something you're going to do, then ask them what else they would like you to do. For example, 'I'm going to kiss your mouth and trace my tongue from your bottom lip all the way down to the tip of your penis. Then what would you like me to do?' By sharing your desire and asking your lover what they want is a great way to develop confidence and bonding with your dirty talk.

    Dirty words homework
    Tonight, go home and try out the above two examples while in bed with your lover to find out how you both feel about talking dirty. If you enjoy it, come back this Friday for the second installment in how to talk dirty, when I will be taking it to the next level.

    Comments (3)

    • Emily: December 24, 2009 04:19
      My man wants me to talk dirty to him and I am terrified. I dont know what to say. I love when he talks dirty to me, but Im afraid I will sound stupid when I do it.
    • LoveHoney - Carly: December 24, 2009 08:42
      Hi Emily,

      Have you tried any suggestions in the above blog? It's got some great tips for talking dirty - give it a read!

      Have fun!
    • trista: December 19, 2011 03:02
      okay I've read the above blog and still to scared fareal. I've tried it but as soon as I kinda get into it I stop cus like emily I feel stupid but my partner loves it. But then she wants me to describe how it feels and I have no clue how to do that! Please help. l