Baby Incoming! Advice for New and Expectant Parents

We all need a kind word and a bit of advice every now and then – especially when preparing for the hard work and new territory of parenthood. Your body is going through huge changes and, most likely, your relationship is too.

Whether you’re elated, anxious, or just plain exhausted, you’re not alone. We spoke to experienced parents to remind you just that – and give you some useful advice for the next phase. Here's what they said, in 6 useful tips.

1. Stock up the house

No need to prep for a zombie apocalypse but do a big shop for boring everyday goods you’ll be grateful for when your little on arrives. Paper towels, poo bags (doggy poo bags can be useful for nappy disposal too), canned goods, toilet paper.

Get it delivered from the supermarket if you like. Load your freezer in advance. Having nourishing, inexpensive food available is brilliant when the lack of sleep hits. Oh, and healthy snacks that you can eat one-handed are great when you’re holding a baby!

2. Grab the books

Babies love the sound of your voice, so reading aloud can be a great way to chill them out (and you too). But use the time to read something that YOU enjoy.

There’ll be plenty of time for picture books when they’re older – for now, read whatever fantasy novels, beach lit, or dramatic biographies your brain needs – it's your time too! And if books aren’t your thing, try a magazine subscription that lets you download straight to your phone or tablet.

3. Let intimacy return naturally

It’s fine to have zero to very little sex for a while your body heals and you get used to your new reality. Never feel guilty or under pressure to jump straight back into bed! Your libido will return naturally. Besides, not having sex doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to enjoy intimacy with your partner.

There are plenty of ways to enjoy intimacy without sex: make time to kiss and cuddle each other, share little compliments, and check-in on how you’re both doing. You can always masturbate together or enjoy a sensual massage if you’re in the mood, but too tender for penetrative sex. When you do feel your sex drive returning, be sure to grab the lube, as this will help ease you back in without any painful friction.

4. Drown out the noise

Get some decent wireless headphones or earbuds. You need to know when your baby is crying but you don’t need to hear it at jet engine decibels. Even mildly blunting crying noises lets you do your job of being an awesome parent with a little less stress – and the calmer you are, the calmer baby will be too.

5. Believe that less is more

You need less specialist equipment than you think. Social media is rife with people trying to sell you gadgets and gizmos, which are largely unnecessary. Many of the really essential items can be given or sold cheaply by other parents whose children have outgrown their baby things. Kids don’t care if things are second hand!

6. Trust that things will calm down

Not everything means something – sometimes your baby is just extra grizzly. Avoid the panic spiral by saving your questions for your GP and never anxiously looking up symptoms (for you or your baby). It’s great to be curious about other people’s experiences and get advice. But what works for others may not work for you and vice versa. If you do need to read up on something health-related, stick to trusted sources like the NHS.

Trust that your body will heal and your baby will stop crying. You got this! No matter what, you still deserve to feel sexy as a new parent. If you’re finding it hard to imagine, sex toys are a fun way to bring a little heat and novelty back into your relationship. Besides, orgasms are a great way to destress.