Dating and Body Language Advice: Top Tips from Would Like To Meet Again

Posted on: August 14, 2008 15:08 | Posted by: Tracey Cox

Tracey is back on our TV screens in BBC2's Would Like To Meet Again. Who couldn't use a fun refresher on how to flirt?!

Do you think men or women struggle the most with flirting?

Tracey: Women are more natural flirts because we're better at reading between the lines and more alert to things like the emotional temperature of a room. In one study of people flirting in a bar, women gave out 52 flirting signals to show when they were interested, whereas men gave out an average of 10.

This is where the problems start - women think men understand all these subtle signals and they don't. She thinks she's being really obvious in letting him know she's keen but chances are men miss most of them. If he doesn't seem to be getting the message, stick to the basics: smile, lots of eye contact, stand close.

Is it important to go out with a flirt-strategy or should you let things just go with the flow?

Tracey: It depends on how good you are at flirting. If you're good and practised and it comes naturally, you don't need a strategy. If you find it all a bit challenging, you do.

What are most common mistakes you've come across in people's flirting techniques?

Tracey: Volume control. People who aren't good flirts tend to be either too subtle or too overt. It's a good idea to flirt in front of a mirror to get an idea of how you look. Either that or get a friend you trust to watch you in action and give you some clues on what you might be doing right or wrong.

Can you give guys a few sure-fire tips to know that a woman is flirting with them?

Tracey: It's a great sign if she's looking at your mouth loads. The more infatuated she is, the more time she'll spend looking at your mouth while you're talking.

It's also good if she tilts her face forward and cocks it to the side. This reveals her throat and neck - a part of us normally reserved for lovers.

If she simultaneously holds her hair back to give you a clear view, she's doing what's called a 'neck display'. It might not sound terribly naughty but it definitely means 'I'm interested'.

Both sexes tend to tilt their head when intrigued by someone or something. If she lets a strap fall off a shoulder, it's also good news. Revealing a shoulder is incredibly provocative. So is a glance back over one or stroking her own. Even shrugging your shoulders can be sexy if it's done in the right way.

Subconscious actions really let people know what you think of them, but they often go unnoticed! What things can you do subtly that are 'green lights' to the other person?

Tracey: Try playing space invaders. If you're in a restaurant or bar, gradually push your wine or beer glass from your side of the table over to theirs. Leave your hands wrapped around the glass and see what happens. If they lean forward they're keen, if they lean back they're not.

Another trick: Start playing with things already on their side (salt and pepper shakers, menus). Both sexes use their hands to signal interest by moving them into the other person's personal space and stroking or caressing any object when close to them subliminally signals you fancy them.

Are there some things you should definitely NOT do?

Tracey: Yes. Try to keep 'open' body language. In other words don't cross your arms to form protective barriers and try to keep your shoulders nice and relaxed. Don't fidget or fiddle or shred coasters if you're nervous.

Also be conscious of personal space. Don't stand too close too quickly. Add touch if you really want to make an impression. A quick touch to the forearm with some eye contact works wonders to make some like you.

What would be your top 3 tips for a perfect first date?

Tracey: Wear something you feel good in that suits you and the venue. Don't wear something new - test run it first!

Don't try to be too clever for what to do - dinner wins because it gives you a chance to talk but there's enough happening to cover any uncomfortable silences.

Don't censor your conversations - it's pointless pretending to be something you're not - but don't babble either. At the end you should have a sense of what each other is like, not know their whole life history. There's no reason for a second date if they know everything about you!

For more dating and flirting tips, read Tracey Cox's SuperFlirt. It shows you how to read what others mean by their body language. Find out how to make them notice you, want you - and (fingers crossed) fall in love with you.

More blog posts: Better Sex Tips | More on LoveHoney: Better Sex Tips

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