I have a very low libido, and am never interested in having sex. What do I do?

Posted on: May 23, 2008 11:05 | Posted by: Tracey Cox

There's evidence to suggest we inherit our libidos from our parents and their attitude to sex strongly influences what your attitude will be today.

Question:

I have a very low libido, and am never interested in having sex. My partner thinks that there is something wrong with me, but I have never enjoyed making love and don't think that I ever will. What do I do?

Tracey Says:

Look back at your childhood and the messages you were given about sex. I know it's not something we like to think about, but did you get the impression your parents enjoyed/enjoy a healthy sex life?

There's evidence to suggest we inherit our libidos from our parents and their attitude to sex strongly influences what your attitude will be today. What was your first sexual experience like?

If it was traumatic or had a nasty aftermath, that can also affect future desire. The fact you say you never enjoy sex and never have suggests this is a deep-rooted problem rather than a case of being dreadfully unlucky and choosing a succession of lousy lovers.

Take heart though! Every woman can enjoy sex given the right attitude, circumstances, partner - and sometimes therapy.

This doesn't seem like something which is going to be solved with a good sex book and a dextrous tongue (though you could try both). I'd start by doing some research by reading Sex Smart by Aline Zoldbrod, which looks at early experiences which shape our sexuality.

If that doesn't help, take yourself off to see a good sex therapist and have a chat.

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