My boyfriend lives a long way from me. Is it a good idea to make love by phone to avoid cheating?

Posted on: April 28, 2008 09:04 | Posted by: Tracey Cox

Question:
My boyfriend lives quite a long way from me, so we don't see each other very often. Is it a good idea to make love by phone to avoid cheating? How to suggest this type of conversation - I think I'd just get embarrassed!

Answer Tracey Says:

It's a great idea to try phone sex if you're living apart - trouble is, knowing this and doing it are often two different things.

It's a bit like roleplay - most of us secretly fancy living out a fantasy, but imagining yourself as a fierce and foul-mouthed, whip-wielding dominatrix type is totally different than actually pulling on a PVC corset in the stark reality of your own bedroom with your partner's socks on the floor.

Phone sex is like that - it sounds like a turn on but we're scared to try it for fear of looking like a fool.

But here's the good news - it's actually quite easy to instigate and do!

Lots of people find talking dirty embarrassing face to face but can handle it via the phone because they can't be seen. Simply start by saying how much you miss having sex with each other, then elaborate on which particular things you're missing most ('I wish you were kissing my breasts right now').

Throw in a few 'God, I'm feeling all horny now' statements, working up to 'I'm so turned on I'm touching myself' type sentences and you're well on your way to happy endings.

If you're really shy, you could try turning each other on via instant messaging. Writing something is even less traumatic than saying it!

The essential sex book for the 21st century! Aimed at anyone who wants to transform their sex life from so-so to sizzling, Hot Sex answers the questions the other sex books skirt around.

Do you have a question for Tracey?
Click here to send your sex and relationships question to Tracey.