Cock Too Big? Cock Too Small? Making a Perfect Fit Every Time
Posted on: September 07, 2007 07:09 | Posted by: McBirdie
New recruit to the OrgasmArmy, savemenow wrote to the forums recently asking for advice:
Hey all, I've just started a new relationship with a very lovely guy, everything else is perfect except the sex...He's just way too big for me, he's got to be at least 10 inches...and when we do have sex I feel bruised and swollen inside afterwards, anyone else had this problem, or have any tips/ideas to share.
Much appreciation xxx
General Laynie, a regular in the forums, advised that savemenow ask her partner to take things slowly--and to give it time, as one can often become accustomed to partners with larger sizes.
My advice was more positional: "You should make sure you pick positions that stretch out the length of your vaginal canal (I really need to find a sexier way to say that). Most positions can be adapted to make it a little easier on you--for example, in missionary, don't raise your legs. Instead, either stretch them straight out (so your body is shaped like a T), which will give you full extension, or keep your legs straight down (as though you were standing feet on ground)--whatever you do, don't pull your legs up; that shortens you right up and you'll be feeling it on your cervix like mad.
In doggy style, make sure you stay up on all fours (rather than dropping your shoulders to the bed). If all else fails, go for woman-on-top as your primary position--you can control impact then."
This advice holds equally true if you find that the man's penis is too small, or the woman's vagina too large--changing positions can make an awkward sizing seem ideal.
In this scenario, you want to do the opposite of the advice I gave to savemenow--in doggy, have the woman drop her shoulders onto the bed and back up against her own knees, shortening her vaginal canal fully. In missionary position, raising her legs as high as she can (over her partner's shoulders is ideal) will make the most of the situation.
If anyone has been in a similar situation, please do feel free to join us over at OrgasmArmy, or leave comments here. Good sex tips are always warmly welcomed.
Comments (1)
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As a male who has had to overcome this problem regularly over the years I can offer a few words of advice. A few things are crucial, the first being able to relax, then trust and communication.
I've found that my partners have been tense (mentally and physically) and anxious, as any woman is when first having sex with a new man. I've found woman can be pre-occupied with thoughts of pain. These factors combine to leave her rigid and for want of a better expression less lubricated. Physically this can be overcome with incorporating some lube into foreplay but you really have to mentally prepare your partner. Whatever relaxes her do it, music, laughter, massage, whatever works for her but most of all her patience and trust must be gained.
I first try to establish and gain good communication and trust. When she has confidence in me this removes a lot of the anxiety and fear. It may still be uncomfortable initially but a woman knowing that you will stop whenever and are not going to skewer her at the first opportunity and will listen to them and attempt to read their body language will be far more secure and relaxed with me.
You can't rush this, in time when you have adapted physically and mentally yes, but initially foreplay has never been more important. The more relaxed and turned on you are the better.
Some woman will treat your manhood like Mount Everest, a challenge, something to be conquered and will quite happily and enthusiastically meet this challenge "head on". Most wont, they'll be intimidated. I tell them we wont have sex until they feel comfortable and ready. I let them indulge in as much foreplay as they want. Let her touch, feel and play with me until it feels like her own. Hopefully this will ease her fears and increase her confidence and hunger. If you're comfortable using sex toys introduce them as well, either on your own or with him. Previous partners have commented that this has helped them adapt to me better by increasing the size of their vibrators gradually. I have made replica vibrators of my penis, which have helped partners adjust to the size. They have all said this has not only been useful but great to show their friends!
I've been told by different partners it's like being a teenager again losing their virginity. Even if my partner is older and experienced, when she discovers what's down there those same feelings are invoked again. When I first meet a new partner this is what it feels like for me as well, having to be patient and constantly reassure her until she trusts me and gains the confidence to grab the bull by its "horn".
He may not be able to put it all the way in but if he's as big as you say this will not be the first time he's had this problem and he will have had to adapt to previous partners. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. He'll already know because I'll guarantee he's heard it before. He'll know what positions are best for him to control his stroke and stop him from impaling you!
The swelling can't really be helped. It's best to leave a day or two between sessions to let the swelling subside then build up with gentle foreplay until you can comfortably do more but you'll know your body best.
If you're suffering bruising you have to tell him. He's being too fast and furious or penetrating too far. The last thing you need is to be torn. Trust me a trip to casualty in the early hours wearing a towel like a nappy to soak up the blood will not just leave you embarrassed but sore for a few weeks as the sutures heal. It'll put you off completely and worsen the situation both mentally and physically.
By the sounds of it he needs to learn to control his impulses a little better and gain some more self-control. He might not like it but that is the price to be paid for being well hung. He has to accept that when he is that big a normal sex life will not come easily. This is really a joint problem and you will have to work with him to adapt and overcome it other wise you'll find someone else how you can have a fulfilling sex life with and he'll be on his own and back to square one again with his next partner. A lesson I was harshly taught as a teenager!
Posted by: Long Dong Silver, November 06, 2007 16:11