Meet the Judges - Jo K
| Age | 27 |
| Occupation | Student |
| Location | Liverpool |
| Perfect toy | Dirty but discreet |
| Reason for applying | Sex toys are a part of my sex life, both on my own and in 'company'. So I thought, why not test them for Company? |
What they said
Marvellous Anchor 3-Point G-Spot Vibrator
Marvellous? Possibly for someone else, but not for me. This is very, very pretty, but tiny, and therefore had to be held in various positions before I could even feel the vibrations, making the whole remote control on a cord part slightly pointless. It may be that this is designed for a very petite lady, but the clit stimulator and anal tickler were simply too short. It's really noisy on the highest setting, and I didn't have an orgasm using it. Not unpleasant, but not for me.
- Attractiveness:
- 8 / 10
- Quietness:
- 1 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 7 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 7 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 9 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 3 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 0 / 30
Overall: 35 out of 100
Toy Joy Aquarius Pleaser Vibrator 4.5 Inch
Boy is this ugly! It looks like a stumpy cactus, and the colour is like bile. I thought maybe it just isn't "girl-friendly", but my boyfriend hated the look of it too. However, since it isn't a piece of art, that's not the end of the world. It gives good vibrations, and the two probes spice things up a little (although it would be better if they did more - vibrated?!) It's not really anything out of the ordinary, just a good, reasonably priced toy that won't send you to heaven and back, but won't bankrupt you either.
- Attractiveness:
- 1 / 10
- Quietness:
- 2 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 6 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 6 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 9 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 10 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 17 / 30
Overall: 51 out of 100
Durex Play Touch Finger Vibrator
Although this is the smallest and least obviously a sex toy out of the ones I tested, it is a little bit clinical looking, being made of white plastic. That said, it is nice, discreet, and can be used on all parts of the body, as well as a partner, during foreplay as well as sex. It only has one speed - it's on/off - so the vibrations aren't necessarily right for everyone; I didn't find them the perfect strength for me, although they are pleasurable. The vibrator comes in a neat white plastic case, so you can store/carry it around, and it has a spare vibrator "pod" included. I can't figure out if you can buy refill "pods" for the vibrating part - if you can, it's better value for money than my score indicates. Great if you're nervous, buying for the first time, (especially if you're buying as a couple, as it's not intimidating) or don't want a penis shaped vibrator. Good fun, but not an all-time favourite for me.
- Attractiveness:
- 6 / 10
- Quietness:
- 2 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 7 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 6 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 8 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 6 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 15 / 30
Overall: 50 out of 100
Ultra 7 Waterproof Hummer Rabbit Vibrator
This is the way to take a shower: get a towel, switch on the shower, get your waterproof hummer, *ahem* "position" it, shampoo your hair, and wash, and by the time you're ready to put on conditioner, you'll find you're a little busy elsewhere. Beats wearing blusher everyday. Seriously though. A waterproof rabbit is a great idea, but this is basically the rabbit we all know and love, underwater. It's great, it does its job, but it's still a rabbit. This one feels lovely to touch, is (obviously) easy to clean, although again had a funny smell on first inspection, and I have to raise strenuous objections to having a dolphin shaped clitoral stimulator - I am not a 14 year-old girl. Please, no more dolphin-shaped sex toys. Creepy and weird. That said, the vibrations it gave were great, although personally I find the wave patterns distracting - you can avoid these. Great fun, and well priced. Reasonable size (not too wide), and looks more expensive than the Jessica Rabbit. Great rabbit.
- Attractiveness:
- 7 / 10
- Quietness:
- 8 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 7 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 6 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 11 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 10 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 18 / 30
Overall: 67 out of 100
Lelo Iris Luxury Rechargeable Vibrator
This looks absolutely gorgeous. The packaging is discreet and classy, the box is one I'd happily have on a bookshelf, and the vibrator itself is lovely to look at and hold - the silicone end part is smooth and (dry) silky feeling. It also comes with three different adaptors, for the UK, US and EU - which attach to the plug, so you can take it on holiday! Great design idea. The buttons were a little too close together to be immediately easy to use - you have to switch it on, decide on a programme, then choose your vibration level/speed, none of which is the simplest to do on buttons you can't see... That said, it produces very strong vibrations, which are lovely externally, all over (again, this works on both parties during foreplay), and the feel of the silicone adds to this. Used for penetration, I found it a little too wide at the end, and it felt cold to the touch, which was less enjoyable. The handle vibrates as well as the shaft and top, so your hands can go numb after a while! All in all, although it's expensive, being rechargeable means you actually probably save money in the long term - and it comes with a one year warranty!! If I didn't already have one, I'd think seriously about investing.
- Attractiveness:
- 9 / 10
- Quietness:
- 3 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 9 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 5 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 12 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 9 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 17 / 30
Overall: 64 out of 100
Doc Johnson Lucid Dream G-Spot Vibrator No 14
This is very pretty to look at, and feels good to hold. The rubber smelt a little funny at first, but it is waterproof, so that was easily sorted. And in the shower, any small amount of noise it makes is totally covered up. I didn't find the action of this particularly useful on my g-spot but I suspect that may be personal preference. The twist base means the vibrations are adjustable (easily), it's good for foreplay - easy to aim... and works on the clit pretty well. Would be great for someone who doesn't need very strong vibrations. Again, a good toy, but not one I'd rave about in the pub!
- Attractiveness:
- 7 / 10
- Quietness:
- 3 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 8 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 9 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 8 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 10 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 17 / 30
Overall: 62 out of 100
Tracey Cox Supersex Bullet Vibrator
These are brilliant. They should issue these bullets to the army instead of real ones. I've had one for years, and it's a little tired now so really happy to get a shiny new one. The joy of the bullet is that it's so easy to use. Switch it on, apply it to wherever you like and Bob's your uncle. Great for foreplay, fun if you're on top and he holds it against you, can be used to make a blow job more exciting, and of course, it''s great on your own too. Mine lives next to the bed. At all times. It's not a complicated toy, but it does exactly what it says it will. The only criticism is that it eats up batteries reasonably fast, and they're always the odd shaped ones you have to buy from places that sell a wide range of batteries - no chance of using rechargeable batteries here. If you haven't got one, and if you haven't got any sex toys - start here. You won't regret it.
- Attractiveness:
- 10 / 10
- Quietness:
- 2 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 7 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 9 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 9 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 12 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 24 / 30
Overall: 73 out of 100
Fun Factory Delight Rechargeable Massager
Wow. This is amazing. It looks gorgeous - I got a black and white one, which is great because it will go with lots of outfits. Seriously, I don't want to go anywhere without it. Expensive? Yes. You know what they say - you get what you pay for. You might pay 40 quid for something much less brilliant, and then spend a fiver a month on batteries - inside a year, the FFDelight is cheaper. The storage/travel case is also the charger - two contact points on the side of the toy, which is great. It looks sleek and classy (although the packaging isn't brilliant), and if you had your suitcase opened at Customs, you might even be able to pass this off as a "sculpture". If you could stop smiling. Its design is ergonomic, and designed for a woman - none of your "fake penis" shapes here, with buttons hidden away where we ladies can't see; just a lovely seahorse, with a handle that curves back over your fingers, and a button in full view at all times. It could do with an indicator light to show it's charged up, but hey - you can always find out... I didn't find the "pulsating modes" it claimed to have, but I didn't care. The vibrations were amazing, equally perfect on the clit bump bit and the end, and the only criticism I have is that I orgasmed too fast... Poor me.
- Attractiveness:
- 10 / 10
- Quietness:
- 6 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 10 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 9 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 14 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 12 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 26 / 30
Overall: 87 out of 100
LoveHoney Jessica Rabbit 2.0 Rabbit Vibrator
On first impression, this looks really cheap. The colours are vile, and it's really garish. Out of the box it looks cheaply finished, and unattractive - like rabbits when they were first invented, rather than the sleek ones that are around today. It doesn't come with storage options - sounds boring, but where are you supposed to keep it?! On a bookshelf? In your pants drawer?! The buttons need revising if it's going to be used on yourself - the one to increase the speed is nearer to you than the one to switch it off/down - so you have to keep your thumb bent back awkwardly to increase speed/vibrations, rather than only having to bend your thumb back once, when you're ready to calm down... In its favour, the vibrations on the clit ears are incredibly strong - hence the noise. Stronger than my own, more expensive, more "technological" looking rabbit. If you like a lot of vibration, this is for you - a very strong clitoral orgasm machine! I found it a little "mechanical", but then I've always found that about the noise/rotating action of rabbits - sounds like a cement mixer. Sexy.
- Attractiveness:
- 2 / 10
- Quietness:
- 8 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 4 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 5 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 14 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 9 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 22 / 30
Overall: 64 out of 100
The Waver Bunny Rabbit Vibrator
Sweet lord. This is such a scary looking beast. The packaging is HUGE, the predominant impression you get from the box is that this is the toy from hell that has come back to get you. And the naked lady's boobs aren't really that much my cup of tea. When I realised it was made in Germany, I had to have a very un-PC chortle. When you open up the box, it's still humungous looking. I mean, seriously big and so RED!!! You need lube for this. Or practice. Again, I found it too big on penetration, and cold-feeling. The wave function was nice, but not particularly orgasmic, and the rabbit ears are rabbit ears like any other. If you want a big rabbit, this is the one, if you're a nervous first-time buyer, steer well clear. Probably not for couples either - unless he also has a very large (red) penis, he might feel a little bit threatened.
- Attractiveness:
- 4 / 10
- Quietness:
- 3 / 10
- Material & Build Quality:
- 7 / 10
- Ease of Use:
- 5 / 10
- Strength of Vibrations:
- 9 / 15
- Value for Money:
- 9 / 15
- Orgasm Rating:
- 19 / 30
Overall: 56 out of 100
