Pipedream Luv Touch Neon Jelly Male Stroker

I don't think this will be a reoccurring dream

Reviewed: 07 May 2013 by The Big Gee, a Married Straight Male

The packaging is pretty much as you see it in the pictures, there’s not much detail about the product or anything else really.

Opening the box reveals the stroker in a sealed bag. It looks pretty good, the pink channel offset against the crystal clear grip may not be a typical look for a male toy but I think it looks quite funky.

The stroker seemed a little bit oily/greasy in the bag so I thought I’d give it a wash first. Towel drying caused it to pick up lots of fluff and dust, and because it’s so soft it doesn’t stand up by itself so it’s hard to get it to air-dry too (both ends are open so that helps a bit). Once it was dry the washing didn’t seem to do much for the residue so I presume this is just how the material is.

Now the tricky bit, trying to use it!

You will need plenty of lube because this toy is tight, I couldn’t even got my finger in it without it! This however adds the first problem, if you get lube on the outside of the toy becomes it very slippery and pretty much impossible to enter. This can also be a bit of a problem during use because it has a small opening at the top so lube can be forced out.

So, well lubed up and with dry hands you just slip it onto your (or someone else’s) old fella and off you go right?

…In theory yes, in practice because the entrance is pretty small it can take a little while to find the right angle, and pressure required to get inside. I’m sure they are working on the equations at CERN but I fear it’s a long way off, so trial and error is pretty much your only choice.

That said once inside the feeling I pretty good, the ridges are rounded and not overly pronounced so it’s quite a natural feeling. The description says you can adjust pressure by tightening or loosening your grip; hats off to you if you want this tighter though!

Suffice to say the experience didn’t last long.

Again, we come to washing it, turning it inside out is not an option. Running water through the top opening and getting your finger in does a pretty good job but as it's pretty long the last part can be tricky to reach.

This one’s not for me. I find it too tight and fiddly to use to really enjoy it. Think I’ll stick to my TENGA 3D.

Reasonable, but not as good as some other strokers

Reviewed: 14 Feb 2013 by SexyBarmaid, an Engaged Straight Female

At first, this seems fantastic. It's incredibly tight, and quite attractive to look at.

However, one thing that really lets this stroker down is the pinhole on the closed end.

You absolutely will need lube to use this, and probably a decent amount. As I said, it's really tight. But as soon as you start to use it, the lube will all shoot out of the pinhole at the end. And given that, you can just imagine what happens when you orgasm.

My other half tells me that as far as strokers go, it doesn't feel amazing. He much prefers the Sue Johanson Head Honcho - and that one isn't messy either!

Tight, tight, tight

Reviewed: 02 May 2013 by RexTheDog, a Going Steady Straight Male

Maybe I'd grown, maybe it had shrunk. Had I used enough lube? Was I trying to put it in the wrong hole?

Let's get one thing clear: the Pipedream Luv Touch Neon Jelly Stroker is tight. Very tight. Even if you've got an average sized willy, getting inside is a struggle and if you've been blessed with a penis of porn-star proportions, you can forget it. Ever come back from holiday and had to ask someone to sit on your suitcase to get it to close? Trying to get your willy inside this thing feels rather similar…

All of this is a real pity because once you get inside, the toy is capable of delivering a wide range of intense sensations.

Open up the packaging and you find that the stroker is made from a soft jelly material and all the way down the inside are loads of soft ridges which gently tease the head of the penis as you slide in and out. If you go slowly, this amounts to a gentle popping sensation as the ridges slide over the head, speed up and it turns into a satisfying throbbing. You can also cover the hole at the top with a finger for added suction. The delicious pop-pop-popping combined with the unbelievable tightness means that the toy can deliver some powerful orgasms. This toy is intense. Really intense. I didn't last long…

At least, that's the idea. In practice it's a little more difficult. The incredible tightness means that getting in is a genuine struggle and staying in is just as difficult. You won't get in unless you're absolutely rock solid and because the stroker is so tight, it has a tendency to slip off. This really spoils the fun. The tightness also makes it almost impossible to slide in all the way and so you're always longing to to go deeper, but can't. This can be really frustrating.

On the other hand, if your penis is a fair bit smaller than average and you're looking for something really tight, this could be a good match. However, many guys (including those on the smaller side) will feel like they're trying to push a hot-dog through a keyhole.

If you're undeterred by the practical difficulties and in the mood for a super-intense quickie, the Pipedream Luv Touch Neon Jelly Stroker is well priced and can deliver some genuinely interesting sensations but, in my opinion, there are plenty of better strokers out there. For about the same money, you'll probably find that something like a TENGA Onacup or a Lovehoney reversible stroker is a better choice and if you're willing to spend a little more, one of the more textured Fleshlights or TENGA masturbators can deliver a similarly intense experience but with far greater ease-of-use.