WandA's review of Lusting Kiss Super Tight Masturbator
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This masturbator is tight all the way from the soft supple lips, along the amazingly textured internal sleeve, right to the open end. Just slip inside and experience the most passionate and lust-filled kiss you've ever has the opportunity to enjoy...
With a soft mouth opening and a fantastic hand-held shape, this masturbation sleeve is great for spicing up any hand job.
The internal texture is tightly ribbed in the special 'SoftRidge' design which allows this sexy stroker to feel just like the real thing.
As this masturbator is so soft, you can squeeze and stretch it to create the kind of pressure that's right for you.
Open-ended for easy cleaning and to fit any length.
Lube it up, slip inside and enjoy perfect oral anywhere and at anytime!
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Lusting Kiss Super Tight Masturbator 6 out of 10 (9 reviews) Write your own review
In genuine surpise at how poor it was and more so the other reviews!
Reviewed: 24 July 2010 by WandA, a Straight Engaged Male
Frankly I'm flabbergasted by the reviews others have given this, they were all so positive. I have tried other masturbators including the TENGA, Fleshlight and a few cheaper masturbators in the same price range as this and I found this appallingly bad. I can only assume drugs make this thing feel amazing and provide the urge to type.
I really can't see any main feature that is even half decent with this product so I will write this review pointing out some of its many flaws and hopefully have something good to say once I've gotten how piss poor this product is off my chest.
1. It is tight, but really uncomfortably so, the LH listed dimensions are 0.25 inches! 0.25 is smaller than your tiny finger nail (unless you're a minor but then you should not be reading this anyway)! It's almost an inverse version of fitting a melon up your bum, it probably is possible for some but it won't be comfortable or enjoyable for the majority. I found this so tight that it actively squeezes you out. Anyone heard about the technique to reduce an erection by squeezing the tip? Well this does it for you. I found myself becoming softer with use unless I preformed the 'meerkat' with it. i.e. popped my tip out the top of the tunnel.
2. It smiles, a Chelsea smile. It splits at the side of the lips as the canal is so narrow. You end up pumping at something that looks a bit like The Joker from Batman and the split gets worse the more you use it. I will also point out my perfectly average proportions, It's not like I was throwing a coke can down it.
3. It is not long enough. The canal is 5.5 inches in length, so this means if you are over 5.5 you do have to pop out the end and cannot stimulate the tip... If you try to move it lower to only stimulate the tip it will explosively fire your penis out the other end as it forcibly expels you. I'm sure if you popped something akin to a golfball in it you could create a deadly weapon by tapping the end.
4. The aesthetics. The packaging is akin to a poor 1960's child's toy only with the inclusion of a slutty lady. The actual toy is bright pink... the box claims it has been given "life like coloured features" but this is an outright lie unless women are bright pink, as far as I am aware to get the same degree of 'pinkness' you would need to take a Scotswomen to the Sahara. I think this confusion arises because of a half-arsed copy and paste job on the 'merits' of the material it is made from as it also mentions vagina on the box. So even when designing the box some bright spark couldn't even be bothered to proofread. Another strange inclusion is a 'ledge' above one of the lips... like a protruding moustache thing, what ever it is it looks silly on the actual product.
5. Material and build. I have already mentioned some failings above such as the splitting but the material it is made from is rubbish anyway. It is made from Loveclone material, which I can only assume is trademarked to actually make the product look worthwhile. The Loveclone material is a cheap material that many lower end masturbators are made from. It is not very durable and stinks. Other build issues include poor setting of the material producing unsightly lines and patches along the toy. At least it is nice and soft... which is needed when forcing your penis in.
6. The texture. It's ribbed, poorly. It is a simple screw thread inside making it rather rubbish. The ribs are too close together and due to it being made from a screw thread not deep enough to be satisfying. Apparently the "nodulated shaft gives you (sic) the most realistic sensation ever!" Another lie, unless it is referring to the proverbial gnat's chuff, once again 0.25 inches! Most women are not screw threaded either.
Pointing out the faults is becoming rather tedious now... So on to the good points!
Good points... good points... Errr... It is easy to clean and isn't noisy but so is a tortoise. Ease of cleaning and noise levels are two of the least important points in a toy for me. You also haven't wasted a lot buying it. Go for the Tracey Cox Super Stroker if you want something in a similar price range that is not shit.
- Not worth mentioning.
- Too tight (0.25inches!). Too stumpy. Rips very easily. Quality. Packaging. Looks. Lies.
- Bottom line
- Even Peter Mandelson has more redeeming features.
- 11 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes