I'm not too interested in sex and I'm quite shocked at Lovehoney - but I do need help.

Posted on: December 31, 2011 10:12 | Posted by: Julie Peasgood

Give yourself permission to experiment now, and take time to discover your sensuality. Light some candles, have a long soak in a bath with fragrant oils, (and a large glass of wine if that helps you to relax) and explore a little solo stimulation, to become familiar with your body and its needs.

I have never really been very interested in sex and to be honest I am quite shocked at all the things here but I do need help. My mother would not discuss the subject, and I will never forget her face when she caught me playing doctors and nurses as a child. As an adult I have had very few relationships but recently I have become friendly with a lovely, kind man I have met when walking my dog. We connect intellectually, and I know he would like to take it further. The problem is I feel rusty in the bedroom department, and although I want to I don’t know how to increase my desire.

It seems that you were given some pretty negative messages about sex when you were a child, and I suspect you may have inherited the misconception that it’s somehow bad or dirty to enjoy yourself in this way.

Give yourself permission to experiment now, and take time to discover your sensuality. Light some candles, have a long soak in a bath with fragrant oils, (and a large glass of wine if that helps you to relax) and explore a little solo stimulation, to become familiar with your body and its needs. You could also try reading some erotic literature to get you in the mood – Lovehoney has a good selection of erotic fiction if you don’t fancy browsing your local bookshop.

The World Congress of Sexology declares ‘Sexual pleasure, including autoeroticism (masturbation), is a source of physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual wellbeing’. Touching yourself will increase your level of desire (the more sex we have, the more we want) and Mother Nature should do the rest, as you get to know your prospective partner better. And don’t feel too shy about confiding your feelings to him too – he sounds as though he would understand. Good Luck!

Refreshingly frank and funny, actress and presenter Julie Peasgood delivers practical information to transform your sex life. The Greatest Guide to Sex explores the world of eroticism, revealing secrets and techniques that will energise and enhance your enjoyment.

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