How to Give an Erotic Massage
by Lovehoney
22 March 2011
Foreplay doesn’t just have to be a kiss and a cuddle within the confines of the bedroom. In fact, erotic massage is the perfect way to connect physically and emotionally before any naughty activity.
One of the leading causes of reduced libido and lack of sex drive is stress. With so many people working long hours in high pressure jobs, it’s no wonder that sex seems to be the last thing on many people’s minds.
From a five minute foot massage to a full-body deep tissue massage, this kind of touching is guaranteed to relax the body, soothe the mind and give you a raunchy night to remember!
How does massage work?
Touch is the strongest of our senses and, for many of us, being touched is both comforting and reassuring (except for those who suffer with haphephobia).
The majority of our everyday communication is non-verbal and body language plays a huge part in how we communicate and understand other people.
It should therefore make sense that massage, one of the most intimate kinds of touch, is a good way of communicating with your lover. Each caress, stroke and rub can be used to say anything from “I adore your body” to “I hope you have a good day at work”.
Finding tense spots in your partner’s neck, shoulders and back then kneading and massaging them with your hands will not only remove physical pain, but it can help unblock their mind as they focus less on the pain and the stress associated with it (back pain and office chairs go hand-in-hand, which is a rather unfortunate reminder of work on a Saturday night).
But a massage can be a simple stroking of the hands or a good going-over of the whole body. Whatever you decide to do, you’ll soon realise the benefits to your heath, your body, your relationship and your sex life.
What you need
You can give a massage using nothing except your hands! However, this always seems quite clinical and reduces intimacy significantly.
To get the full effect, you’ll want to set the right mood for your massage. Start by making the room you want to do the massage in warm but not too warm! Your partner will probably be naked or at least semi-naked so to stop shivers, turn up the heat.
You’ll also want to dim the lights or light some candles. Harsh lighting can be an uncomfortable distraction during massage so bring in a little bit of romance with some fairy lights or tea light candles.
One of the most important parts of your massage is a slippery oil or lotion that will let your hands glide across their skin. The Intimate Organics Relaxing Lemongrass and Coconut Massage Oil is perfect for this as the delicious smell will fill the room and get you both in the mood for some fun. Alternatively, if you hope that your massage will lead to something naughtier, Durex Play Massage 2 in 1 Personal Lubricant is ideal because it will keep you slick and sensual all over!
If you’re on a budget, try combining soft lighting with a massage oil in the form of the Earthly Body Cherry Lickable Massage Candle. Light the wick and when the wax melts, the candle will turn into a warm liquid that can safely be poured on to the skin for a sweet-smelling massage.
How to give a massage
No matter what part of the body you are massaging, there are some simple techniques that apply almost everywhere. Be careful not to press too hard or cause any pain when you’re giving the massage and take time to check in with your partner to find out which parts they enjoy most.
When massaging your lover, try to keep your bodies as close as possible. This will not only help to maintain body heat but it’ll also give you both that subtle contact that really sparks your eroticism and romance.
A massage book is a great way to learn the art of massage as it is clear and concise, but here are a couple of techniques to start you off:
Initial Touch
The first few touches you make should be long, lingering and purposeful. Psychologically speaking, firm contact will reassure your partner and make them feel safe (think of how a strong handshake makes an impression on a business partner, and you’ve got the gist).
Use this time to apply the massage oil or lotion to their body and get their skin warmed up. Your hands should be flat but your fingers should be relaxed, allowing them to splay and follow the natural contours of your partner’s body.
Fingertips
Massage doesn’t have to be intense and deep, in fact, doing the opposite can be both soothing and exciting at the same time. Using your fingertips, trace the contours of your partner’s body. Run your fingers through their hair, gently graze their neck with the pads of your fingers or follow the smooth curves of their lips with your thumbs.
This soft touching will give great results and allow you to move your touch from one area of the body to another fluidly.
Kneading Thumbs
Pressing, kneading and rolling the thumbs against the body is a great way to workout tension in the muscles. Press your thumbs against any body part and smoothly move them away from you, using the full extension of your thumbs. Moving each thumb, one after the other creates a continuous rolling sensation that will really get rid of knots and tight spots. This works especially well on the back, shoulders, feet and thighs.
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