ALIEN: User Profile

I'm a randy bastard who can't pull a bird so I use blow up dolls as a substitute! I bang em till they pop & I've shot me load! I just wanna keep me hose happy & water me garden everyday of the week so that I can top up me pond & spill me white tadpoles into it! If they're any real birds out there who wanna rumble with me then just give me a nod & I'll roll into your hay! As an alien I'll quite happily abduct you Blondsons & take you all for a romantic spin around the stars! Just look at it this way, I'm better than that young arrogant wideboy driving his dads BMW cos I've got a spaceship that can take you Blondsons for a weekend on Mars!