• Introducing your first toy

    1387459607
    Curiousmaybe2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi

    Just bought my wife a Tracey Cox Bullet along with some nice Lingerie for Xmas - She has never used a toy before, I just want to bring a bit of excitement into the bedroom, but I think it could be thrown back in my face.

    What was the initial reaction from your partner and has that reaction changed since it has been used?

    1387460332
    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Give her a couple of glasses of wine before you give it to her. Maybe try getting her talking about sex before then. Talk about fantasies and things you have never tried before. Try and judge her reaction.
    I've always been a very open person and my partner probably new about my toys after the second date..... When I have wine in me intend to tell far too much!
    He was excited to play with the toys and since then put you collection had continued to multiply
    However in the past I had a bf who bought me a bullet and he hid it below the pillow. He then surprised me by blindfolding me and using it on me. I squealed with shock as I was not expecting it.

    Hope she enjoys it!

    1387461229
    Curiousmaybe2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you Blonde Vixen 13 - Have been given a load of wine from suppliers this Xmas, so will put it to use.

    1387501338
    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would suggest bringing the subject up first beforehand to see what the reaction is. If it's not even been mentioned at any point, she may be annoyed to receive those as a Christmas gift. She may think it's selfish of you. If you're positive it's something she'd like to try then you can't go wrong.
    I made the mistake of buying my first toy (a rabbit vibrator) without my OH knowing and I hid it under the bed. I didn't tell him about it or even bring the subject of toys up because I wasn't sure how he'd react and I didn't want him to feel like he was useless. Anyway, he found it eventually and he told me he had. He couldn't understand why I didn't just talk to him about it and he was annoyed at the time. But during our heated discussion on the found vibrator, he asked me to use it in front of him and all was forgotten lol!
    All this was years ago though and now we have a box full of toys!

    1387505620
    kc. [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the fact that you have some doubts may be giving you some indication of the reaction to begin with. I can only speak from my own personal view and experience. I bought our first sex toy about 29 / 30 years ago when we were 20 / 18 years old. It was a very simple vibrator. We had a very physical relationship and for a young couple were quite uninhibited with each other. We used to look at and read porn magazines together and have sex in lots of differnet places outside and were always looking for an opportunity to get each others clothes off, even if her parents were upstairs in the TV room.

    So having bought the vibrator I remember surprising her one morning with it. I just introduced it secretely whilst we were making love. Like you I was unsure of the reaction and how to introduce it, although I think at the time I felt fairly confident it would be received well, which it was.

    A long story short we are now married and have a rather exstensive collection of toys for both of us.

    You know your wife and how she and you are and react together. Without making assumptions, because we are all different, if for example a couple never performed oral sex with each other I think it may be a bt risky to introduce a sex toy. So, and this is not looking to get you to answer them here, but do you ever talk about sex, does she dress up, do you ever use porn together or alone and if so is the other aware of it? Do you think that you have an unihibited and a relaxed attitude to your sex life with each other. All of these may give you a little clue.

    If you are still a bit unsure then perhaps a little groundwork in other ways may provide some answers or clues.

    The other key thing maybe to assure her that you find her so stunning, sexy and attractive that you just want to blow her mind with great sex and orgasms.

    1387505628
    kc. [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the fact that you have some doubts may be giving you some indication of the reaction to begin with. I can only speak from my own personal view and experience. I bought our first sex toy about 29 / 30 years ago when we were 20 / 18 years old. It was a very simple vibrator. We had a very physical relationship and for a young couple were quite uninhibited with each other. We used to look at and read porn magazines together and have sex in lots of differnet places outside and were always looking for an opportunity to get each others clothes off, even if her parents were upstairs in the TV room.

    So having bought the vibrator I remember surprising her one morning with it. I just introduced it secretely whilst we were making love. Like you I was unsure of the reaction and how to introduce it, although I think at the time I felt fairly confident it would be received well, which it was.

    A long story short we are now married and have a rather exstensive collection of toys for both of us.

    You know your wife and how she and you are and react together. Without making assumptions, because we are all different, if for example a couple never performed oral sex with each other I think it may be a bt risky to introduce a sex toy. So, and this is not looking to get you to answer them here, but do you ever talk about sex, does she dress up, do you ever use porn together or alone and if so is the other aware of it? Do you think that you have an unihibited and a relaxed attitude to your sex life with each other. All of these may give you a little clue.

    If you are still a bit unsure then perhaps a little groundwork in other ways may provide some answers or clues.

    The other key thing maybe to assure her that you find her so stunning, sexy and attractive that you just want to blow her mind with great sex and orgasms.

    1387507699
    rolex [sign in to see picture]
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    http://www.myvinevideos.com/46/im-sure-it-said-place-on-head-

    1387524458
    yummytummy [sign in to see picture]
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    my oh and I have been together for 5 years now, we have a great sex life. we talk about what makes us feel good and what we like to do to make each other feel good too. my oh suggested she would like to try a rabbit after we read 50 shades together, so I got one, hid it under pillow before going to work. then I sent her a text telling her there was a present under her pillow.

    the reaction was amazing. she had all day to play and get used to something different. when I got home she was so horny it was unbelievable. there is nothing like being pinned down and taken full advantage of!

    my advice is give her time to explore the toy on her own then you can join in when she feels comfortable.

    1387537699
    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    yummytummy wrote:

    my oh and I have been together for 5 years now, we have a great sex life. we talk about what makes us feel good and what we like to do to make each other feel good too. my oh suggested she would like to try a rabbit after we read 50 shades together, so I got one, hid it under pillow before going to work. then I sent her a text telling her there was a present under her pillow.

    the reaction was amazing. she had all day to play and get used to something different. when I got home she was so horny it was unbelievable. there is nothing like being pinned down and taken full advantage of!

    my advice is give her time to explore the toy on her own then you can join in when she feels comfortable.

    That's a great approach to hide it under her pillow, what a fab idea. Leaving her to it by herself takes the pressure off. It can feel a bit awkward trying a new toy in front of a partner when you don't know how to use it yourself. I've bought glass dildos and new vibrators recently and will much prefer to try them out on my own first to see what works, how it feels etc without the embarrassment of having my OH watching. Im then confident with the toys to show him what to do with them, what setting to use etc without the fumbling around. I'd love a new sex toy to be left under my pillow! He's left me love notes under there many times but never a sex toy. Mickus, get reading this post lol ;)
    1387539471
    Curiousmaybe2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for all of your posts. I/We need more bedroom excitement, the thought of her touching herself or with a toy is exciting. I dont know if the 'pillow' approach will help, but it is a good idea - but possibly not her.

    The lingerie and toy is a little Xmas night time present for her (and me) - I hope she enjoys and agrees - Will keep you all posted, hopefully with a positive response !

    1387540044
    Ron Burgundy [sign in to see picture]
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    I bought my wife some lingerie as a gift a few years ago and the woman at the checkout suggested my wife might appreciate a bullet vibe. We had never used sex toys before so I was a little unsure but I needn't have worried as she loved it. Im sure yours will too.

    1387540317
    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Curiousmaybe2 wrote:

    Thanks for all of your posts. I/We need more bedroom excitement, the thought of her touching herself or with a toy is exciting. I dont know if the 'pillow' approach will help, but it is a good idea - but possibly not her.

    The lingerie and toy is a little Xmas night time present for her (and me) - I hope she enjoys and agrees - Will keep you all posted, hopefully with a positive response !

    I would recommend the pillow approach at a later date when you've established more of a sex toy love life first. She probably wouldn't appreciate it right now lol. Have you discussed introducing sex toys before this purchase?

    1387540646
    Curiousmaybe2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Sarah

    I bought one many moons ago, definitely prior to us having children. I think it was binned !! She is one of these people who can be extremely sexy when we are on our own, so much so, that she blew me away last weekend when my mum had the children, three orgasms, unheard of !

    I think we need to talk, the fact of her teasing me and saying 'I used it' earlier whilst you were at work excites me - will it happen, dont know, but heres hoping :)

    1387541462
    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Curiousmaybe2 wrote:

    Hi Sarah

    I bought one many moons ago, definitely prior to us having children. I think it was binned !! She is one of these people who can be extremely sexy when we are on our own, so much so, that she blew me away last weekend when my mum had the children, three orgasms, unheard of !

    I think we need to talk, the fact of her teasing me and saying 'I used it' earlier whilst you were at work excites me - will it happen, dont know, but heres hoping :)

    Sounds to me like she has an inner sex beast that just needs to know it can come out more often ;) A chat on the matter sounds like a good idea. Communication is absolute paramount for these things to take off. Me and my OH have learnt that over the years. I used to be quite prudish but my childhood played a part in that. I've learnt now to let go of all that and I know it's totally o.k and perfectly normal to be a dirty b**** in the bedroom. It sends my OH crazy when I message him at work to say I've just used a toy, I send him pics too and it totally sends him over the edge! Good luck with it all, here's wishing you lots of fun to be had in the future and may you end up with a box full of toys like we now have :)
    1387542342
    northernuk [sign in to see picture]
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    that is exactly my life too! I buy toys, underwear, books, tried talking, having our son at work with me to give her a rest and just dont seem to get anything other than 'my sex drive isnt what it used to be'

    id love nothing more than to get a text off her at work saying shes lay in bed and has just masturbated

    1387543932
    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Honestly that's how I used to be. Me and OH have been together a long time (since our late teens), our sex life was brilliant in the first 3 years and all throughout my first pregnancy. Then it all went pear shaped. I was so wrapped up in being a mum (and we had two more after the first) plus I had 'lady problems' for years from giving birth, that my sex drive plummeted to zero. I had issues from childhood that played a part too, I was quite a prude when it came to sex, even talking about it. Those issues didn't bother me before I became a mum, only after.
    Anyway, me and OH are now in our 30's, our eldest two are teenagers and our sex life has gone through the roof. Something has clicked with me, sex drive has gone crazy and we're experimenting with lots of new toys. I've got lingerie I wouldn't dare wear before as I would have found it too naughty at the time. It's more like 'bring it on' now!
    I really feel for my hubby, all that time all he wanted was what we've got now. For years he put up with it but because he loves me and tried his best to understand how I felt. But now he's having to keep up with me!
    Anyway, I'm waffling on here. My main point is that it's never ever too late to improve things. Lots of communication is important and an understanding of each other. Maybe get your OH'S to join the forum? It's made a massive difference us both being on here. After all, talking sex and reading sex keeps it on the brain instead of it being pushed to the back :)

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    Curiousmaybe2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you Sarah 77 - So well put and straight from the heart, I think one big thing that has been lacking is communication on how I/She feels, maybe I will be surprised on what she has to say with regard to the intimacy - will get on to it straight away - Just had delivered from Lovehoney some lingerie, OMG ! Its very nice

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    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Exactly, you may well be surprised. Give her the chance to express what she feels, and you too. It can make all the difference. Hope she likes the lingerie! Let us know how it goes :)

    1387553999
    northernuk [sign in to see picture]
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    id just like to echo curiousmaybes comments and say thank you, very well put and comforting to hear the view from the other side.

    I can especially relate to the bit about being wrapped up being a mum, I feel very much like the time me and my wife get together sexually has been hampered by her being a mother.

    sarah, you said something clicked, do you know what or was it just a BAM moment?

    curious, keep us updated and good luck, sarah, keep it up!!

    x

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    yummytummy [sign in to see picture]
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    sex does change after children I agree, my ex went off completely after our second child totally rejecting me and never admitting there was a problem. this led to the total break down of our relationship. ending in divorce unfortunately. I have now found a lively lady who was someone I had known for years and she too had been through a difficult and abusive violent marriage. however we have a really amazing sex life I regularly get lovely surprises and we experiment with all sorts of things, it's to do with trust, age, life experiences and being open with each other. notes, little pressies, texts all spice things up and make for interesting life in and out of the bedroom? take it gently and with respect, trust and love.

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