• Beginners advice for vibrators?

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    leeseahh23 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey everyone, heres an update.
    so i bought the Tracey Cox vibrator as some of you suggested and... Nothing. It felt okay, i mean, i got a few twitches down there but nothing "oh my god". No excitement. No nothing. I think its just the fact that its me and, with my failed attempts, i am way too embarrassed to bring it up with the OH. Bit of a bummer, i know that i wasn't going to get fireworks straight away, but it really didn't do anything for me at all. The biggest reaction I got from it was that my hand went numb. Sorry guys, i might be a lost cause.

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    leeseahh23 [sign in to see picture]
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    Spudsmum wrote:

    You've had lots of sound advice.... I'd be inclined to buy whatever it is you fancy for solo play.... And when you feel the time is right casually mention toys and gauge his reaction to it, some men love finding out that their women are adventurous and others feel threated, if he's the former great you could browse together if he seems to be the latter just brush the conversation off as "just a thought" ....

    I really enjoyed reading the grey series of books and have discovered porn hub on the Internet ( via my 13 yr old soon - eek ) but, there's free downloadable videos virus free !!

    Good luck :-) xxx

    thanks for the advice referring of how to tell the OH, but unfortunately see my previous post for why I cant. i wouldn't mind trying the grey books but the fact is theyve been recommended by my boyfriends mum, my ex boyfriends mum and my ex boyfriends grandma. All of which makes the whole experience a little bit of a turn off for me in all honesty. Which is a shame because the watching porn concept doesn't do anything for me at all but makes me cringe :( sorry if i sound like an awkward sod.
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    Mary3 [sign in to see picture]
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    Bless you my lovely.... And there's no such thing as a lost cause.... It took me absolute years to have my first orgasm and I struggle to make myself come too - I've got a few good toys now thanks to LH and I'm experimenting with what works for me....

    Have you tried doggy style with your partner, someone suggested it for me ( see thread : how to get him over his performance anxiety ) and the two times we managed penetration was in that position.... I would also recommend a stretchy cock ring too.... Good luck, stay patient and keep trying xxx

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    Don_Don [sign in to see picture]
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    Do you drink? Have a few to help yourself relax.

    And as I think I previously said it might take a few times, to me it sound more a relax problem and it might not happen for a while.

    My wife reminded me that before me she'd never had an orgasm and it took time.

    3 words.... Relax, relax, relax.

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    leeseahh23 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 4 Feb 2012

    Spudsmum wrote:

    Bless you my lovely.... And there's no such thing as a lost cause.... It took me absolute years to have my first orgasm and I struggle to make myself come too - I've got a few good toys now thanks to LH and I'm experimenting with what works for me....

    Have you tried doggy style with your partner, someone suggested it for me ( see thread : how to get him over his performance anxiety ) and the two times we managed penetration was in that position.... I would also recommend a stretchy cock ring too.... Good luck, stay patient and keep trying xxx

    Yeah we've tried doggy (my favourite position!!!! :D) but the only problem is I'm worried that if we do doggy he'll lose his erection :/ When we do missionary I can kind of venture down there to help him out a little if you catch my drift.. Think the cock ring might scare him a little :\

    Thanks hun I'll try x

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    leeseahh23 [sign in to see picture]
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    Don_Don wrote:

    Do you drink? Have a few to help yourself relax.

    And as I think I previously said it might take a few times, to me it sound more a relax problem and it might not happen for a while.

    My wife reminded me that before me she'd never had an orgasm and it took time.

    3 words.... Relax, relax, relax.

    I do, but not a lot and not very often. Sounds like a good idea but I don't really have a lot of private "me" time (I'm not really in a place where I'm alone really). The nights I've tried the vibe I've been in the shower, thinking it was really my only private place to relax.

    I'll try/

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't forget to sign up for the newsletter and watch for sales. LH has a lot of them, including 3 for £10 offers which can be a way to try out a few things without going over budget.

    One thing to keep in mind is battery size. Button batteries tend to be fiddley and run out quickly. Toys that use AAA ones tend to be buzzier and weaker than AAs. Lollipop's giant one takes Cs. It's a bit of a beast, but that might work for you.

    Palm massagers tend to run around £20 and aren't as versatile as the phallicky internal vibes (which can be used externally as well). BUT they don't look like sex toys, so that might be something to try with a partner. One thing to keep in mind is that if YOU're nervous and make a big deal out of it, he's more likely to follow suit.

    Here's an example of one. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25362

    Don't give up on yourself. Vibes might not be what you need right now, but you'll find a way to learn how to orgasm. Less pressure on yourself and a longer time alone might do a lot to help.

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    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
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    A slimline rabbit!

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    RabbitLover89 [sign in to see picture]
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    I tried one of the rabbits for my first time with a vibrator and I felt nothing. I could not get it in the right place, I could not get it to stimulate me at all, and I could not relax.

    I think you just have to really be in the mood for it. Rather than push yourself and force yourself. Just relax, choose a time when you really want it, and then lie back and have fun! If it doesn't work first time, don't feel deflated and disappointed. Persevere with it and it'll hopefully work.

    I've realised tonight what I've been missing, because I tried out my Duckie vibrator for the first time and it worked wonders! I don't know why I didn't pick it for my first vibrator instead of trying to start with a rabbit. It's been about twenty minutes since I finished with Duckie (or Rufus as I call it now because I was thinking of my favourite actor at the time), and I'm still tingling! ;)

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    LetsTryThis [sign in to see picture]
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    I am sorry to read that your disappointed Leeseahh, and it sounds like you feel like a failure. You're not. I think you're putting way too much pressure on yourself to climax, which will be stopping you from being able to enjoy it! Like the others have said - relax. :) (And for me... the shower doesn't make me relax... I find it far easier to make myself cum when I'm laid down on my back than I can standing.)

    I will say though - don't give up. Just because this vibe hasn't 'worked' doesn't mean others wont. I have one bullet that was a freebie - it is okay, I can cum when I use it but I have to have penetration at the same time, I cannot cum from it on it's own. But my Lelo Elise can make me cum almost instantly lol. There's a vibe out there for everyone who wants one. :) Just carry on exploring and playing, that in itself will relax you, and as you enjoy the playing (not climaxing - just playing), you never know what will be round the corner.

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    Kasey [sign in to see picture]
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    I had pretty much exactly the same experience, and gave up on all sex toys for 2 years.

    I bought a ladyfinger type vibrator recently, and thought it was going to be just as terrible, but then I tried putting on music (to drown out the distracting sounds) and lying on top of it, rather than on my back. I went off like a slightly more excited puppy humping the leg of it's just returned owner. - Maybe try a different position?

    Re- the 50 shades thing. I feel you. Have you tried literotica.com? there is some horrific-ly written stuff, but if you find a good author, it can be pretty hot

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    Kasey [sign in to see picture]
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    Don_Don wrote:

    And don't forget some good lube and some anti-bac.....

    Most of all..... Enjoy

    and LUUUUUUBE!

    Sorry for the caps, but I didn't realise how good it would make it.

    It takes a vibrator from sandpaper to silk. ( Slight exaggeration, but I wanted to ensure you know how good it is)

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