• The Ultimate Toy Wall

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    killerbunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow... I'm impressed.

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    repliquant [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks all for very nice comments... Frankly I didn't expect a reaction ;)

    Some replies to specific points/questions:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Wow! That is impressive! Lets just hope that Grandma or someone doesn't go spoaching around one day though! Looks amazing though.

    That generation has been long underground, and I disowned direct progenitors and their other offspring long ago ;)

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    you can create your own sexual fantasies with such toys when you bring them out again. Sex toys are not as one-dimensional as many people see them. Tease yourself with them. Stroke them. Learn the feel of your favourite ones. Rub up against them. Etc etc.

    I've never thought of toys in that way. As soon as I'm done cleaning, off they go, back to being another brick on the wall ;) I like reading about others' approach to things in this universe, so thanks for that, as until now I didn't even imagine people did that.

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    But try not to panic. It is NEVER over with sex toys! They are hardly one-use items, (...) Plus, the sex toy market is bigger now than it ever was, and it will only continue to expand.

    That is actually a good topic for another thread, and I can elaborate as necessary, but for now, some simple thoughts on the matter. Whatever follows in the next few paragraphs may be seen as complaining, but actually it is not. Regardless, I ended up with my toy wall, and I am grateful ;)

    The market does expand, but I'm not one of the beneficiaries of this expansion, at least not to any significant extent ;) That is because I'm beyond niche as far as vendors are concerned. I'm not part of their target consumer groups, and unless the prevailing paradigms in the society shifts, fighting agains simple laws of supply and demand will be as productive as whipping the sea on the part of an emperor.

    Why, I'm a solo-playing straight male. I've written about it already somewhere else on this forum, but to recap — the supply of toys matches demand patterns, and generalizing very roughly, I can apply the familiar 80/20 rule here as well. Briefly then:

    1. 80% of toys are aimed directly at the female audience

    2. 80% of the remainder is marketed directly to the non-straight male audience. After that is subtracted, there are just leftovers.

    3. From these, 80% of toys involve activities I'd rather avoid or am not interested in.

    4. Of those that are left, 80% are either radioactive, or painful (hello, silicone)

    5. Finally, once I really can look intoo the set that remains, I find that the number of available toys decreases exponentially with the diameter. Few go beyond pencil size, and only measure zero set is interested in anything beyond 50 mm or so, or to put it graphically — beyond a thicker banana.

    Where does that leave me? I should also mention that among the pitiful remainder there are plenty of ugly toys, of unappealing shapes, weird designs, and horrible anticolors. It all dovetails. While there may be new products appearing on the market every week, the likelihood that one will appeal to me, a simple man really — is close to zero. This is the reality — I have four primary vendors that in one way or another cater to men such as I:

    a) the run-of-the-mill vendor (Doc Johnson) — which due to scale can afford putting out many designs out there, and I have picked among the leftovers, including glass. They do have the Titanmen like of products, a very good line, but it is old, and I should not expect a successor beyond the end of this decade.

    b) the non-straight vendor (Domestic Partner / Mister B) — I can really only benefit from their military army/naval collections which are neutral, as well as some training tools designed by the pros

    c) the unusual-super-niche vendor (TSX) — they have mostly the same profile as b), but with a weird, one-of-a-kind twist. So ignoring the demented and the anatomical, I get to pick from the merely unusual, or from simple training tools. Again, mostly leftovers.

    d) the sideline vendor (Master Series) — this is a BDSM outfit mostly, and while they have an truly excellent line of bum toys, some of the best i own, they don't even advertise most of them, as this isn't their primary market. Also generally unavailable in Europe.

    e) the 'may contain traces of nuts' vendors — I have 'trace quantities' of toys from Icons Brands, Pipedream, Crackstuffers. Just blind luck that I found something :)

    Do you see my point? Apart from the Titanmen line, there is nothing that is marketed to me. That is because guys like are not catered for, and users are not vocal due to the prevailing paradigms that tend to stigmatize men in many ways at that.

    But as I said, I'm happy with what I have anyway! it's just if I were SomeoneElse™, my toy wall would have extended from here to Paris, at least ;)

    Lovehoney - Alice wrote:

    p.s. I embedded the image for you because no link coppy and pastign should deter people from seeing it!

    That was totally unexpected — thank you ;)

    Lovehoney - Alice wrote:

    We're looking to stock more items from Mister B, so I reckon there could be more additions yet... ;-)

    Mister B (also as the umbrella for Domestic Partner) has some neutral things on offer, and looking at your discontinued line, I have found quite a few of their naval / army military niche lines. They are good, but I think that Master Series (a US bdsm outfit that also makes bum toys) makes better toys.

    First, and that is important for advanced players — the materials of which they make their toys are really bum-friendly. The newer the products, the better. Not sure who did what first, but it seems to me that in all that design-aping that goes on, they also have a part. But then, I don't really know. What i do know is that their 'versions' are superior to others', often beautiful, and more anatomically correct too.

    After I tried my Anal Link Large, there was no looking back. I bought everything I could (again, not that many! — just 26, see above for the rough reasons why). They are very hard if not impossible to find in Europe though — If you're looking for stocking something, browsing amazon.com is a good idea, as their own site is... [insert something unfriendly here] ;) In this pointer:

    http://tinyurl.com/o3o48b6

    bum toys are scattered among 8 pages. Couldn't filter that better, as amazon cataloging is very loopy.

    The Nymphomaniac wrote:

    fI need me toy collection to have a wall. Well it does, but I mean an area like that (no works can describe it). One day when I'm rich I'll have all my toys on-top of shelves.

    Walls good! ;)

    But they needn't be expensive. This is Benno dvd-søyle from Ikea, a cheap piece of furniture:

    http://www.ikea.com/no/no/catalog/products/07305310/#/80104094

    In her majesty's currency that would be just 26.9541 units per item. This is the only kind of shelves that was shallow enough to make sense for toy storage/display. Bookshelves wouldn't work. Also, one of the color options matched my other furniture (brunsvart, quite similar), so i went for it.

    KittyStar wrote:

    I see what you mean about the little blue plug too!

    Yes, it is a lone pacifier among all that serious-looking machinery ;) Well, then there are the lemons as well, and the funny Octoplug :p

    Curiousgeorgie wrote:

    Flipping heck, I was going to call you a bit anal, but with all of those you're a lot anal, lol.

    :D

    I hope I'm not anal-retentive though ;)

    Stuburns wrote:

    I'm sure David Dickinson would like to appraise those in a few years

    Who is that?

    HappilyExperimenting wrote:

    Wow *Applauds* I love your wall, imagine seeing that when your neighbours come round for a cuppa. I am really impressed - and don't worry, as Alice says there are always new products being developed! Which one is your favourite? Is it the middle-top one still, the easy peasy lemon squeezy one? :) That's a great novelty toy!

    Well, they already have been here, though not for a cuppa, just administrative trivia to consult and agree on, as neighbors must sometimes. My Chinese lady neighbor has been smiling at me every time since then ;) But at the time there were just a few, one row really, and.... my beauties lounging around, of course.

    My favorites, well, I could keep listing them until late at night, as I already threw out toys I didn't like or which were bad or painful ;) I don't just see bum toys as plugs/dildos, since there are so many types of usage, and so many subtypes — actually 20 subs, by last count! ;) But yes, the Funkist Lemon is the orgasmatron. Perhaps it was molded from my bum when I was asleep or something ;) Perfect fit. I don't see it selling well though. I'd expect a typical reaction to such an idea: a lemon? nn my butt? you've gotta be sh... kidding me'. but what do I care :p

    Hazy wrote:

    Impressive! is this in your bedroom or is it on show for visitors to see?

    This is in the main room. Whoever leaves the corridor and enters has only to turn around to lose all their oxygen supply for a while ;) That is because I've never hidden anything, and do not intend to begin now.

    Despina Rose wrote:

    Wow I love this. Don't they attract lint and dust? Are those CD shelves?

    DVD shelves from IKEA. See above for the link. No, they do not attract dust or lint, not really. Compared to my servers/machines, that's nothing. My window blinds long ago accounted for 90% of total dust ;) Besides, I switched to black/blackish furniture last year, and one of the side benefits of that decision is that these things keep me on edge. I clean much more often than i used to all my life, and I find that really refreshing. After all I am a regular male, and I need objective incentives to keep at it ;) The depth of these DVD shelves is perfect for bum toys. Not sure about vibes or a zillion of specialist doohickeys for the ladies. Probably something else might work better.

    bigstu wrote:

    Really is quite astounding. 10 out of 10. The OH and i have a long long way to go.

    It is the journey, and not gettting there, which is the most rewarding ;) I'm sure there is a proverb for that, but I can't remember now. Good thing that you have started! Once you get to 48 mm or so, and would like some hints as to what to choose to optimize further progress, just ask, either here, or elsewhere, and I will help as best I can. Most of all, enjoy all levels you go through, may they help you both to discover new lands.

    ---

    Right, and now I need a cig, I've been typing for a while ;) Thanks all for nice comments, again.

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    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
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    get more red ones then you could play dildo connect four!

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    repliquant [sign in to see picture]
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    WeeSteve wrote:

    get more red ones then you could play dildo connect four!

    I'd have to know what that is first ;)

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    repliquant wrote:

    WeeSteve wrote:

    get more red ones then you could play dildo connect four!

    I'd have to know what that is first ;)

    dunno but i still love ya lemons ;)

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    brockleyfox [sign in to see picture]
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    Best. Photo. Ever!

    I had to look twice. That really is quite a collection, and so well presented. I love th eidea of you having that in your house, so you can just peruse your toys.

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    louisexx [sign in to see picture]
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    That looks great! Rather artistic too haha, I'm not sure whether it's just the angle of the photo but it makes it look like a very very tall shelf, reminds me of those old libraries with tall ceilings filled with books, imagine the latter...

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    Hazy [sign in to see picture]
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    repliquant wrote:

    WeeSteve wrote:

    get more red ones then you could play dildo connect four!

    I'd have to know what that is first ;)

    Steve, youre on the money there!!

    connect 4 is a 2 player childrens game where you have to get 4 of the same coloured discs in a line :)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connect_Four

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    Very impressive. But why do you do when people go in the same room at it? Lol

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    What do you do ( I mean sorry)

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    repliquant [sign in to see picture]
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    brockleyfox wrote:

    I love th eidea of you having that in your house, so you can just peruse your toys.

    The exact spot where I installed the wall was determined mostly by the proximity to the bathroom. I like to simply waltz out of the latter with one thing inside, and then pick another. That is due to the fact that I change my mind about what to use next on the spot, and would find it hard and/or too restrictive to simply pick a set beforehand, and then commit to it.

    louisexx wrote:

    Rather artistic too haha, I'm not sure whether it's just the angle of the photo but it makes it look like a very very tall shelf, reminds me of those old libraries with tall ceilings filled with books, imagine the latter...

    Any artistry is strictly coincidental, as I'm not well versed in indoor photography. Also, wide angle shooting in those conditions (not to mention poor lighting) is really tough. Glad that something usable came out.

    The wall is 202 cm high and 171 cm wide. Not as tall as library shelves. Perhaps LH could sneak in a photo of their warehouse in their blog? That would be interesting to see. I don't think their toy walls, if any, are very high there. Imagine a wall like this or higher collapsing and burying the unfortunate employee in a big heap of dildos and vibrators — that would have been a significant safety hazard ;)

    Lollipop ;) wrote:

    But why do you do when people go in the same room at it?

    Nothing really. Only authorized organics enter my domain with my permission, and when they do, I leave them to react as they will.

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    It's amazing very well done lol :)

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    hertsgent81 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think ikea need to be made aware of what you're doing with their cd/DVD racks. You may well be given a full page in the next catalogue. And perhaps they'll be renamed with a more appropriate, yet suitably Swedish name...... Schloongbin , or waangböx perhaps?

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    repliquant [sign in to see picture]
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    I think they have learned to be careful in their naming. The Danes have never forgiven them for giving the Öresund name (or Øresund) to a toilet seat :p

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    hertsgent81 [sign in to see picture]
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    Haha, I think you could start quite a humorous post coming up with 'ikea names' for love honey products!

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    repliquant [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, there is always the classic Castle Wankerstein 3D ;)

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    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
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    Hazy wrote:

    repliquant wrote:

    WeeSteve wrote:

    get more red ones then you could play dildo connect four!

    I'd have to know what that is first ;)

    Steve, youre on the money there!!

    connect 4 is a 2 player childrens game where you have to get 4 of the same coloured discs in a line :)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connect_Four

    Im full of great ideas :-P. Its a shame I give them all out for free haha
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    repliquant [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Alice wrote:

    We're looking to stock more items from Mister B

    One more thing then ;) With MrB it is not always obvious who was the actual manufacturer of a given toy. If I may have a suggestion here, it would be to avoid importing Creative Mouldings, X-Man, All Black, All Red lines. These things are leaking chemicals like crazy...

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    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    In regards to the shelving, sadly my collection is too big to do what you have. However my garage stores a lot of mine in boxes. Not handy, but does the job, kind of. :-/

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    repliquant [sign in to see picture]
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    The Nymphomaniac wrote:

    In regards to the shelving, sadly my collection is too big to do what you have. However my garage stores a lot of mine in boxes. Not handy, but does the job, kind of. :-/

    But doesn't that mean that most of these things go unused for very long periods of time if they are packed up for storing in a garage? Perhaps this could still be an option if you restricted the potential wall to the currently used set...

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