• A little help

    1360597384
    Ron Burgundy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 553
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2012

    Hi all

    My wife and I are pretty inexperienced when it comes to sex toys, she has a couple of bullet vibes and that's it. I decided to introduce something different and after doing some research decided on the pearl shine 9 inch vibrator.

    So far my wife's response has been lukewarm. I thought we could use it during foreplay but she insists that she prefers me and doesn't like the feeling. Honestly I don't think she is trying to spare my feelings as there isn't much difference in size between me and the vibe.

    I offered to throw it away but she insists we hold on to it. Does anybody have any suggestions it seems a shame to waste a perfectly good vibe.

    1360597789
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3465
    • Joined: 18 Apr 2010

    Perhaps she just doesn't like the shape or the vibrations?

    Have you tried other things like nipple play or bondage etc?

    I would suggest asking her what she likes and doesn't like about it. Perhaps ask her to try using it on her own. She may let go a bit more that way.

    I would also suggest asking her what she would like to try and experiementing in the basics of different things. That way once you have both found what you like you can go in for that areas.

    Also, if you got it from here then Lovehoney have an awesome returns policy, if you simply don't like it then return it within the year for a refund or exchange.

    On a side note, it's not good to throw vibes away, the electrical components should be properly recycled. Lovehoney have a recycling program called Rabbit Amnesty where they recycle any electrical toys or equiptment and give you the OH points for them.

    Good luck in finding what you both like :)

    1360598596
    Ron Burgundy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 553
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2012

    Hi masquerademinx .
    They're all great suggestions, thanks. Of course when I said throw away I meant recycle responsibly :) I didn't realise lovehoney had such a good returns policy. Hopefully it won't come to that. Thanks afain

    1360598740
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3465
    • Joined: 18 Apr 2010

    Glad I could help. Hope you do make use of it but if not then doesn't matter too much. It took me a long time to figure out what I like.

    Didn't mean to sound snooty or anything just hate things being throw away. Yay for the recycling

    Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

    1360599974
    Ron Burgundy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 553
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2012

    You didn't sound snooty, I did make it sound like I was going to fling it in to the nearest nature reserve. Thanks for your help

    1360601692
    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1520
    • Joined: 19 Sep 2010

    why don't you and your with browse lovehoney together, see what catches her eye

    1360602636
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2236
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Juat an additional few things I can add, as MM has covered the most important things (Communicate and leaving her to experiment alone are really good ideas):

    Firstly I assume your wife has been used to manual stimulation for a reasonably long time? This is her first vibrating toy, the sensations are completely different from using fingers or a tongue and it can take a little while for a lady to start enjoying that new sensation. Imagine completely changing the way you masturbate, imagine going from using your hands to now using a vibrator on your penis..... you can see how it might feel strange on unusual at first until she relaxes into the idea and experiements some more.

    Another thing, the vibrator may be the same size and shape as you, but its different entirely as well. It isnt attached to you, it vibrates etc etc. I think if you asked us ladies who use vibrators a lot we would say this: Sex with your partner and using a vibrator both feel good, most of us prefer the sex not only for the nice feelings but to bond with our partner, to make love, to feel him getting excited etc etc. The vibrator is different, it is used to make us orgasm, they feel intense but in a totally different way. Also quite a few of us ladies use vibrators on our clits, rather than using it in the same way as simulating sexual intercourse. So another suggestion would be asking your wife to do both at the same time! Best of both worlds :D Use the vibrator to tease her clit while you are making love to her. Maybe she would enjoy that a bit more? Not to mention, she might feel a little bit "on show" if, at the moment, you are using this toy on her, as she lays back and thinks of england. Knowing that you are watching her. Does that make sense?

    Try using the toy on yourself. :D No really! I think it will be nice for her if she is a bit daunted by the whole situation if you hand it over to her and ask her to use it on you, try rubbing it over your perineum, balls, over your penis and if you are really brave...anally. I think she will relax into the idea of toys more if you play around, make it fun and are prepared to give it a shot yourself.

    Make it fun, crack a few wise cracks, lighten the mood...(bursting into the room in your underwear, with a blanket cape, weilding the vibrator like a light saber whilst making the humming noise might be a bit too much but would make me laugh lol :P)

    Dont play with it for too long at first. Instead of using it as the main course, intended to give her orgasms, use it as a tease, tell her you are just using it as a tease. When you sense she is struggling, switch to her usual form of stimulation. You will probably find eventually, if she isnt under pressure to cum from the toy, that she will cum from the toy. (Us womenz are a pain in zee ass right! :P)

    Try different toys, but I would wait a little while. If a truck load of vibes turn up she might start panicking, but it might just be that the toy you have at the moment just isnt right for her, and another one will work. We all have different preferences when it comes to toys. I mean I dont really like bullets, and I dont really enjoy rubber toys (friction and irritation) but other women love a good bullet. Its probably something that isnt considered when buying toys at first but all vibrators feel different. From light buzzy teasing mosquito high pitched toys, right down to deep rumbly rolling vibrations and everything in between. Then you have pin point stimulation toys like bullets and rabbits that target a small area, and you have more diffuse vibraters like wands or larger toys that just vibrate over the whole area. You will only discover what your lady likes by trying different toys over time.

    Hope some of this helps.

    1360605511
    Ron Burgundy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 553
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2012

    Thanks everyone.
    Fluffbags thanks for taking the time to post such a detailed response. I did a lot of research when choosing this toy and thought my wife would enjoy it. Maybe she will eventually. If not, like blue eyes suggested, I will hand the credit card over to my oh and see what she comes up with.
    Appreciate the help.

    1360615825
    Tracey3x [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 299
    • Joined: 27 Nov 2012

    It took me a while to get used to vibrating toys, then literally all of a sudden i found i loved it once i found what worked for me. Now i NEED the vibrations to reach orgasm!

    Like the others said, maybe let her experiment alone for a while with different toys, let her find what works and then once she feels confident using it and knows what she likes she can teach you and then you can experiment with other things together

    :)

    xxx

    Thread closed

    This thread is closed, so no new messages can be posted.