• Vibrator use when married. How often is OK?

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    sarahkitty [sign in to see picture]
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    I got my first vibrator earlier on in the year when my hubby was working away for a couple of months. I've always wanted one to try but never got one as we have a energetic sex life anyway. He knows I have it and I dont think he is that keen but I actually prefer using it and masturbating on my own anyway.

    He pretty much caught me with it the other day and asked how much I used it, which is probably 5-6 days a week when I think about it. He said he didnt know it was that much and would prefer me not to do it as much. I've always liked to masturbate quite a lot anyway which I kept private but now I use my vibrator most of the time.

    Is this too much, should I use it a little less. Any other married girls got any views?

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    2nd Chance T [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you should use it as much as you wish. I have a very active sex life but I love my toys which we use as a couple but mostly I use them alone. I'd play every day if i could. Enjoy yourself x

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    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
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    Use it as much as you like!!!!

    Me sounds a little threatened by it. He should know there's nothing wrong with it and it's not a replacement for him.

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    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
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    use it as much as you want. If he is insecure about you using it, then it is his issue and he needs to talk to you why he feels that way.

    You are not cheating, you have a sex drive that you need to have seen to. Pretty sure he would prefer you use the toy, rather than another man ;)

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    katmiaow [sign in to see picture]
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    you should use your vibrator as often as you want to use it!!

    is it having a conversation about your vibrator with your hubby? i'd be wanting to show it to him and turning him on by telling him how i use it and how it makes me feel!

    is he a bit intimidated by your vibrator? it sounds like he is jealous. in which case you should reassure him that it's not a replacement- just an addition.

    masturbation should be a part of your energetic sex life- not a secret affair alongside your sex life with your husband.

    i would definitely have a chat with him about it all and find out more about how he feels. do you have a small vibrator like a bullet or something? those are a great way of introducing toys if your partner is wary because they are not intimidating- a huge vibrating dildo might make him feel a bit inadequate! and getting him to use your toy on you or using your vibrator on his penis is alot of fun too

    i'm not married but i hope this helps a bit :)

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    katmiaow [sign in to see picture]
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    is it worth having a conversation*

    sorry typo

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    RedCheeks [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with other posters that you should use toys as often as you want to. I'm married and play with toys five or six days of the week too, quite often when my partner is gone out. I think its important to be honest about it though, I've never made any secret of it with my husband and hes quite supportive of me having that time to myself when I want it.

    As long as you are still being intimate with your husband I don't see any reason for him to feel you should be masturbating any less.

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    cheer_up [sign in to see picture]
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    Excellent advice given by all above. This may be a silly idea (because I don't know your husband), but might it help to introduce the toy into foreplay or something at some point? Just to demonstrate that it's not a replacement for him - it's just a thing that can be used to give pleasure. Maybe give him a blowjob, and hold your vibrator against the base of his penis or something?

    It sounds to me like the vibrator makes him feel a little insecure, but that's something he needs to discuss with you, rather than asking you to curb your enjoyment of your toy.

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    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
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    Masturbating and using sex toys heightens your sex drive, the more you orgasms you have the more you want. Tracy Cox says so!! Maybe if you quote this to him he won't mind so much ;)

    As long as the vibrator isn't being used as a replacement for sex then use it as often as you like. Why don't you try using it with your partner? Show him that it isn't anything to be afraid of or jealous of. He might find it really sexy to watch you using it :) xx

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    ghost [sign in to see picture]
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    Absolutely. i love my OH using sex toys, not every time, it depends on the mood. Some men find them intimidating. id rather he used a sex toy than another man!!!

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    jjane47 [sign in to see picture]
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    Interesting thought as to whether he has issues with you using a mechanical device or whether he has questions about you actually masturbating full stop. Clearly if it's the latter that would raise a question of your own as to whether he enjoys the odd 'solo' moment himself!

    Must admit that Hub and I do play without toys - sometimes, but in the main they add a little spice to proceedings and i know he's over the moon if he walks in on me mid action.........

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    MissW [sign in to see picture]
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    I use it almost every day! He rarely knows that i've been using it, but tough, if im horny i'll use it :) And if he's about when i'm horny then he's a lucky many lol

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    [suspended user]

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    and i think its ok too

    ibetif you asked the male populace on hear they probally say wanking everyday is normal

    so enjoy it while you can

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    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    Definitely ok to use as much as you want although i would only say that if it isn't affecting your love life. Did he say why he wants you to use it less? I had a friend whos boyfriend was worried it would desensitize her and she wouldn't be able to get pleasure from him but once she reassured him that wouldn't happen he was fine with it.

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    Jimi Duro [sign in to see picture]
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    Remember though ladies...

    If you use it too much forget a man going down on you you are going to feel nothing at all because you are going to be used to far greater sensations down there...

    I have used my stubble on a woman what in Italy is called La Mosca the part below the bottom lip and she said it was similar

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    fistinglover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    maybe hes feeling a bit left out/unwanted so maybe start involving him more? i was gunna suggest using your vibrator in sex or maybe getting him to do it but maybe that would make the matter worse haha. just assure him that it isnt a replacement for him and you still love his sex moves : P

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    [suspended user]

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    well put FTL

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    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    Jimi Duro wrote:

    Remember though ladies...

    If you use it too much forget a man going down on you you are going to feel nothing at all because you are going to be used to far greater sensations down there...

    I have used my stubble on a woman what in Italy is called La Mosca the part below the bottom lip and she said it was similar

    I disagree with this, I use vibrators reguarly for the past 5 years or so as it was the only way I could get anywhere close to orgasm and am finding myself more responsive to both my own and my boyfriends touch over time (this past year- when he can be bothered anyway), although I still cannot cum from it I can get right on the brink now which is a big achievement for me cuz I felt nothing at all 2-3 years ago.

    On the other hand though I'm finding vibrators less effective, it tends to leave me a bit numb, unless I leave it a few days in between whereas I used to be able to use them several times a day.

    Maybe I'm just weird.... lol

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    Valeyard [sign in to see picture]
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    Put it this way.. Would he reject your advances 5 or so times a week if you didn't have your toy?* if not, I can see how he's feeling shortchanged, I mean did you do anything to at least make sure it wasn't very one-sided? were you trying to sleep while he was on his phone on a sex video cos you'd fucked the same motor he was connecting 9v batteries to in Technology lessons in school?

    If so and you find him fucking another woman, I would suggest you should let him do that until a blowjob robot is invented, hey at least she's investing the effort (You're not)

    *If yes ignore rest of post

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    Naughtybutnice12 [sign in to see picture]
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    My OH used to be completely against any kind of sex toys/anything that wasn't totally vanilla until he met me (and I was very shy and quite boring in bed before I met him). He says he used to feel that if a woman wanted to do/use anything 'out of the ordinary' he would see that as them saying he wasn't good enough to satisfy them and they needed something else to get them off. I can understand this but he knows I masturbate, he knows I use vibrators (we use them together quite often) and at first he couldn't understand why - he thought he didn't satisfy me but when I explained the fact that the more sex we have and the better it is the more horny I am and the more I want it - If I didn't masturbate that's when he should start to worry! He accepted this and now actually finds it quite a turn on if I tell him. He didn't really understand the vibrator thing at first either and worried that I enjoyed it more but after explaining that it's a completely different sensation and using a bullet on him during a blow job - he was fine about it all and it's now a frequent visitor in our bed and has opened the door to so many other experiences and fantasies being shared.

    Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is understand it may make him feel inadequate if he doesn't understand it but it may make a real difference to your relationship if you explain things to him and reassure him it is not a replacement for him!

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