• How to Defeat Zombies Using Only Sex Toys

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    Lovehoney - Alice [sign in to see picture]
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    Shock! Horror! The zombie apocalypse has dawned... but luckily our herione Hella knows how to defeat zombies using only sex toys. Check out How to Defeat Zombies Using Sex Toys.

    Part 1: B.Z.S.M

    Part 2: Appetite for Distraction

    Part 3: It's a Trap!

    Part 4: Trail of the Dead

    If you were caught in a compromising situation, how would you defeat zombies with the sex toys you have to hand?

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    crag630 [sign in to see picture]
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    Well funnilly enough me and a friend recently put to together a plan for the event of zombie outbreak in Scotland and the rest of the UK mainland. But we did not include sex toysd for some reason.

    Well first off grab a gimp mask or even gas mask to stop blood getting in your mouth no need to accidentally infect your self!

    Sadly you want me to use what I have to hand though so I would grab my flesh jack and tell it I will miss it because its now a head smasher!

    Second probably after killing off the first few and securing the house go on the love honey forums and have a rant about having to break such an exspensive toy over some zombie's head.

    Then if it was now useless as a bludgeoning tool switch to brown boxes yep time to recycle place them on the stairs a zombie trying to climb stairs will find it hard enough without putting his foot through a box and slipping.

    If there are too many I will have to resort to coming back online for some advice from you guy's.

    Then start a mad mellee with them in the hall armed with these:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15202

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=309

    The pearl shine is for shoving in their eyes as oposed to bludgeoning as its not that hard as for the titan men thing well that bad boy is going righ through some skulls and the inflatable ball would be fun to trip them up with deflated leave it lying and zombie slips on it simple really.

    And again come back online to celebrate then assuming the army has taken care of most things and royal mail is not on strike again! I would take advange of love honey's great returns policy and get a new flesh jack.

    Failling that because royal mail seen a good reason to strike "we don't have adequite protection from the zombie's!" Any exscuse with those guy's honestly. I would have to resort to going on here and asking what the hell to do next.

    But if they kept persisting I would just start shoving my toys so far up their rear ends they would never come back! And probably spread the word to their zombie pal's "don't their he shoved an inflatable butt plug up me when I fell over and didn't even use lube"

    Well now I know I am inadequitely prepared I am going to invest in some more heavy duty bondage gear and a massive dildo.

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    atlanta [sign in to see picture]
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    Obviously cover yourself with lube so that you just slip through their fingers.

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    Ginger Ninja Minge [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, zombies don't exist, so we're never gonna- HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE-

    SOMEONE HELP M- ARRGHGHGHGHHh!

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    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    Beautiful!

    "Not the sharpest ghoul in the box"... Love it!

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    Satoshi [sign in to see picture]
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    Using sex toys on zombies... gives a whole new meaning to the word necrophilia!

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Are these the new ads? The world seems to have gotten somewhat used to the idea of a married couple snogging in their front hall.

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    Lovehoney - Alice [sign in to see picture]
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    Nah, they're not new ads - just some fun we were having for Halloween!

    It's probably a bit of a step from a kissing married couple to bludgeoning a zombie with an oversized anal dildo

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Not according to the outrage expressed by the erudite social commentators on the Daily Fail.

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    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Alice wrote:

    an oversized anal dildo

    Oh, that's what it was....

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    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    I'd have to lasso and hogtie them (Bondage Rope), mace them with warming gel to the eyes, disguise myself with body paint and ambush them with a condom over their head!

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    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Alice wrote:

    Nah, they're not new ads - just some fun we were having for Halloween!

    It's probably a bit of a step from a kissing married couple to bludgeoning a zombie with an oversized anal dildo

    LMAO - this really made me laugh!!!!!!

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    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
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    this is so funny....very creative and not what you would expect of selling sex toys ...totally fab

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