• Anal relaxsation

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    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    First of hello everyone. I am a straight (though recently i will admit i have been thinking about the prospect of being with a guy and the thought is yummy to say the least so right know I am a bit all over the place) male and single. Ive been using love honey a while but it's my first time to the forums so please be gentle.

    I know the rules say don't start a new thread unless there is nothing else that answers the question you have to ask but the problem is i have searched and am not quite satisfied with what i found so once and for all i would like a definitive answer from those in the know. I have had the Tracy Cox beginner but plug set for a while now after having the kinky desire to try anal and have since graduated to the Anal Beginner's Vibrator which is great.

    I really want some tips to Relax myself to make the process more enjoyable and short of practice makes perfect which i already knew i have not found anything else that satisfies me advice wise. So my question is this advice wise what can i do to relax before anal penetration short of using a lubed finger first before my new vibe which by the way is great?

    Any and all suggestions are welcome and thank you all so much for taking an interest and responding

    1310248594
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Leon Bellmont wrote:

    I know the rules say don't start a new thread unless there is nothing else that answers the question you have to ask but the problem is i have searched and am not quite satisfied with what i found

    But yay, you read the rules :P so many people don't bother, even established members need to refresh on the rules from time to time!

    Welcome to the forums!!

    All I can suggest is to use something that's ever so slightly too big (or gives you a stretching feeling) quite regularly (and use something smaller to build up to it like a finger) as regularity will eventually help the process be easier. Also you could try using a lubricant for massage and external stimulation before hand and maybe a bath before hand would help?

    It may be worth purchasing something cheap that's in between the two toys you have? As a go between, begin with the smaller, then middle then larger.

    I have to use a vaginal dilator due to pain during penetration and I have to use the teeny one first every time despite having used it for a while but I reckon if you're "normal" you'd eventually get used to the larger size and not need the go between anymore.

    All the toys at Lh have a circumferance measurement in the information so that's handy.

    Adxx

    1310251050
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    A vaginal dialator? Is that the same as a speculum? I'd never thought of something liken that before.

    I use it vaginally I mean. Don't know if that was clear but it's a similar principal.

    A dilator is just a set of dildos basically in varying sizes. I have a tiddly one, and a large and then two in between. I can only use the smallest comfortably and the next one up with some discomfort. My ones also screw together (the two smaller ones and the two larger attach to each other) so that the one you're not using becomes a handle. Pretty handy.

    I'm sure they'd also be great for anal but you can by sets of anal toys in varying sizes too wso that's also an option.

    I'd not recommend speculums for this sort of thing as I find they can be incredibly uncomfortable when opening.

    Adxx

    1310252373
    crag630 [sign in to see picture]
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    Dont know about every one else but I like to create a nice warm enviroment basically turn up the radiator close the window and light an insense stick.

    1310256733
    atlanta [sign in to see picture]
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    Learning to relax your anus takes practise and patience.

    Buy yourself a moderately sized dildo. I would recommend a 12 inch double ender about 1.5 inches thick. And buy some good lube.

    Lie in your bed with your pillows behind you and your legs drawn up so that you can easily touch your anus with your finger.

    Apply lube to your finger and gently make small circles with your finger tip around your hole.

    See if you can "pout" your hole. When it's pouted apply a little more lube and see if you can gently insert your finger tip.

    Once in, pout and relax, and then repeat. Do this several times.

    If this is pleasurable and your anus is becoming looser. Try placing the tip of the dildo against your hole. Repeat the pouting and relaxing. See if you can slowly bear down on the tip of the dildo. If it's painful stop. Then try again. Don't forget to keep applying lube.

    You will also find that if you masturbate your anus will relax in the moments before you orgasm. If you can get it together try pushing the dildo in at that moment.

    Keep repeating day after day until your dildo slides in with ease and without pain. Don't forget to empty your bowels before doing this exercise.

    1310260830
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you so much to everyone who responded. Means so much to be able to share with and indeed learn from you all so with all my heart thank you. Given me so much more confidence than i had before. I was worried no one would respond but that was just first time nerves, silly me.

    A 12 inch double ender about 1.5 inches thick instills in me the fear of god but I came seeking advice and if that is what it takes then by god I shall forge ahead and try. 2 problems, one being I live with my parents so the exercise and the purchase of a 12 inch monster toy could be tricky. The second is miss interpretation on my part Atlanta by pout do you mean push as i would normally or something else ( please pardon my asking). Indication to clear up that second matter would be most appreciated.

    Again thank you to all and let me end by saying have fun whatever your kink and to anyone unsure don't be afraid like i was to post, the people here are friendly and informative and i look forward to the next time I need help, or know enough to offer some.

    Ps I will let you all know how I get on.

    1310261296
    crag630 [sign in to see picture]
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    Not sure how nosy your parents are but lovehoneys discreet boxes are great other than that hiding it may involve having to get a safe or padlock a drawer or something. Personally I live with my mum and she doesnt disturb my pile of brown boxes in the corner.

    Oh and good luck.

    1310261947
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah the pile of brown boxes beside my bed lies undisturbed, however when i was writing my original post one of the boxes was lying open on my bed, the one with my new anal vibe and the but plug.

    My mum came in the room and told me she had made a desert for after dinner today. I managed to click away from lovehoney in time and close my lap top but i didn't notice the box was open until after she had enough time to take a look. Closed the lid anyway praying she didn't notice. Nothing was mentioned and life went on as normal but even as i write this my stomachache is doing back flips at the thought.

    Guess I will have to wait and see if she sits me down and gives me the talk god help me or heck maybe for once i will get lucky, stranger things after all have happened.

    1310262324
    crag630 [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh dear well any way I hope you become a regular on the forums.

    Worth noting if you have a dog sleeping in your room DO NOT LEAVE THINGS LYING OUT
    I made that mistake once caught the bugger just about to run down stairs with with a 9" blue vibrator!

    1310262683
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    Thankfully I don't have any pets, bar next doors cat which my dad insists on feeding bless him and lucky for me there is no way he could fit a vibe in his mouth.

    Good advice never the less and i will in future pay particular attention to my surroundings. In any case It's bed time for me but thanks again for the advice and for the chat.

    1310295706
    Pixieking [sign in to see picture]
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    Just thought I'd add that getting a 12 incher really isn't essential and you can work with any size you feel comfortable with. : )

    Be careful with baring down also. Do it gently and don't do it for extended times cause it can cause problems. Just a slight push to aid the toy on it's way and thAts enough. : )

    1310295750
    Postillionager [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, your original question says "short of using a lubed finger," that's actually probably the best way to go. Alternatively, have you tried using beads? They usually start off tiny and gradually increase the further you go. There aren't any short cuts really, as people have said above, you need to start small, take it slowly and build up in size gradually everytime.

    If you want an "anal quickie" you should probably limit yourself to one finger or a small toy. But generally, my advice would be to give yourself plenty of time to warm up. Most people are only completely relaxed after 30 or 40 minutes of foreplay.

    1310301931
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    In response to what Pixeking said (love the name by the way) i was looking at the Basix Realistic Slim 7 Inch Dildo a couple days ago and aside from the fact that it's on sale for half price, seriously right now it's practically stealing, all the feedback i read is positive so that will most likely be what i choose. Can't wait till lovehoney gets the flesh color back in stock, I will certainly enjoy myself in the near future.

    I know i keep saying it but thank you to all. I am far more confident now.

    I guess really the only question i have left and i know i should have led with it is when for example the vibe is inserted if i take the my hand off the base and let it alone my bottom tries to push it out. I understand it is only really doing what it is supposed to and for very light thrusting it actually helps to have it slide out without me pulling it but will i over time learn to stop with instinct or is it something you can only stop when completely relaxed.

    Any advice on that matter would as always be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you all again and have fun whatever you do.

    1310303332
    Postillionager [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi again, I've had a quick look at that one, just be aware, although it's called "Slim" it is actually 1.8 inches diameter, that's quite a whopping girth for anal use. I wouldn't recommend using that to warm up with, it sounded like you wanted something more intermediate sized.

    1310304115
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    I have taken a look around and if anyone has any suggestions about a decent intermediate sized one they would be most welcome. I will continue to try to find something a bit smaller myself.

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    crag630 [sign in to see picture]
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    Try these if its just for building up they should be small enough I think.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=5642

    1310304782
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    Just checked the diameter of my vibe is 1.3 inches and you are right Postillionager a step to 1.8 is probably to much. My vibe fits well enough after a finger and some light massaging so perhaps a but plug in between the two before i try a dildo like the one i thought of before.

    Like i mentioned any suggestions from your own collections re greatly welcome.

    1310305257
    crag630 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok this is not something I own personally but the way it builds up from one pathetic bit on the end should be good for you.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2219#videos

    1310305731
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    Certainly some good ones to consider, might be worth buying them instead. Thank you for the suggestion.

    1310306114
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    Just found the Doc Johnson Spectra Gel Beaded Anal Vibrator and it combines both Crag 630 suggestion of beads with a step up of only point 2 inches in diameter so i think i have found my go between.

    Thanks to everyone for the suggestions and help.

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