Anal Sex for beginners, any advice?

Hi Italiangirl, its does hurt at first your friends either have big arses or have a wicked sense of humour.
You need to de-sensitize the area, what you feel is an intense burning, stinging feeling and you want to stop that as would your boyfriend if you put nettles round his todger and then the hot tap.
Firstly before you go on: He needs to understand your predicament and be worth it, if so:-
What you'll need; (I sound like Blue Peter)

One Egg Box,
A Smartie Tube,
Sorry where was I, oh yes:-

Use "as much as you need" OIL based lube and your own finger (you choose which one, not your Thumb)

1) Apply OIL based lube first to your anal area, then chosen finger,

2) Gently press on your anus, just to enter (about finger nail depth) and out again, repeat several times until it becomes more comfortable them gradually go in further.

When you encounter that burning sting, just stop inside and hold for a minute until burning stops, it will stop it only lasts for a short period, then you can go on or gently pull out, don't forget to top up Lube!!!
When you feel up to it work up to two fingers etc........

I hope this is useful, if so please let me know at: md.harper@hotmail.co.uk

Then I can try this technique on my partner! He he, only joking. Take care, Mark.

Harper, you're talking out of your fundament. You should NOT be numbing the area. This is how real damage can get done. Pleasure comes from sensation, not from shutting down your body's responses.

I'd also question the use of oil-based lube; it's hard to wash from the body and can help harbour bacteria/upset your body's natural flora. Oil will also destroy condoms, which are usually a good idea to use during anal.

Silicone-based lube has that oily consistency and will not destroy condoms. I'd personally not be that keen on getting liquid silicone inside me, but lots of people do love it.

Italian girl: maybe this really isn't for you? You've got to want to do it for your own pleasure. It sounds like you're not really enjoying this much, despite your best efforts.

I said de-sensitise not numb, Pain is no fun at all especially if your not in control of that pain ie: boyfriend on your back.

She wants to feel every stroke and she will but first she must de-sensitise the area enough to be enable her partner to enter her without her being in pain, THROUGH GENTLE AND GRADUAL PENETRATION not through any numbing product.

I've never tried silicone based lube, I use water based because I have to, but given the choice prefer oil based as it lasts longer. True it is harder to wash from your body, but by no means hard.

I agree this would be a better lubricant by the sound of it.
Being condom friendly is not something I've had to think about as I have been with my partner for 8 and a half years and don't use them.
Nice baps, Mark.

Queen Mab is right - and the de-sensitising versus numbing argument is just semantics, they amount to exactly the same thing.

Here's the bottom line (excuse the pun) If you have ANY need to reduce the natural sensation of your ass because of pain then YOU'RE DOING DAMAGE. Most peoples asses can't hold a conversation with you - pain is its only way of saying STOP. Pain simply means you are not relaxing and taking long enough to allow your ass to relaxe NATURALLY. And yes, that might mean two or three hours. Or longer.

Alternatively, ignore this advice if you want - makes no odds to me. I bet there are plenty of proctologists who'd welcome the chance of some overtime. Personally though I like to avoid any chance of a torn sphincter, anal fissures or piles.

Do like Queen Mab says - keep it natural.

i'm new here so go easy with me ;)

Basically, i'm a first timer (ok, except prostate stimulation) when it comes to anal. I guess it's just curiousity and a "new thing" for me (being a guy (not sure whether i'm straight or bicurious or even bisexual, confused about it if you know what i mean), it's kinda not something i talk about in real life and not very often online. ATM, i'm not even completely comfortable talking about it now but i'd rather get it out and "introduce" myself).

As of yet, i haven't bought any anal sex toys. But i think i may be able to handle something a little larger than one of the starter ones (i'm not adventurous in much but this is something i am 'enthusiastic' about). However, i'm not sure what lube would be best. I know a water based one would be best for my body. I've tried the WET Original with both my Fleshlight and the prostate stimulation and it seemed to work fine. After reading this thread, i'm probably not gonna use an oil based lube for 2 reasons:

1) i wanna keep my body healthy
2) it's not gonna like the toy i have "chosen" (maybe not final choice though)

Like i said, it is my first time trying anal penetration with anything other than my finger, and as such, for the first few times at least, i plan on using condoms. Just makes it easier to clean.

I'd picked out this one: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8582

Yes, that may not be the best choice for a beginner, but like i said, i think i can handle something that little bit bigger, if i go easy to start with.

So, any advice for the new guy?

Maybe you should go for a set which offers varied sizes or shapes, like this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539 so you can see which suits you best.

I have also heard great reports about the Tantus Pro Touch, which is angled for prostate stimulation, AND has a bullet vibe to go in the base, for wire-free vibes: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=955
And it's made from fabulous, sterilisable silicone.

You could also consider something like a beaded anal vibe like the fabulous Anovibe: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=291
the beads provide lots of fabulous sensation, and as they are graduated in size, you can start small and work your way up.

I reckon Wet Original should be fine for anal, if you like it. My fave anal lube is Maximus: thick and gel-like consistency but not runny.

As for your sexuality...anal pleasure is a unisex thing: we all have an arse! Whether or not you find it an erogenous zone is just an individual thing, and is completely unrelated to your sexual orientation. However, lots of men do find it hard to admit to enjoying this type of stimulation, so well done in coming out and talking about it...! Incidentally there is a brilliant book out called the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men, which you really should invest in. It will take you from basic anatomy to fisting with everything inbetween, and is aimed at all men, regardless of sexual orientation.

(http://www.sh-womenstore.com/catalog/Erotic+Books%2C+Films+%252526+CD%27s/Ultimate+Guide+to+Anal+Sex+For+Men.html)

Or you could buy this book, which is excellent:

Masterclass: Anal Sex by Charlotte Webb. Pub EPS
Lots of detailed text and hot pictures!

There was talk a while ago of Lovehoney stocking it, but I don't know if that's come to anything yet or not.

I'm a little bit new to anal sex, we used Anal eaze and it desensertises the entrance so its not painfull and doesnt burn at all... I wont have anal without it..... I reviewed it, its that good!! this is the link but im not very good at getting thesethings right :P take a look at this .. http://www.orgasmarmy.com/lubes/anal-eaze-anal-desensitising-cream-14ml/reviews.aspx

The burning sensation is down to nerves I believe as it used to happen to me, I also tried many lubes and desensatizing products but found no joy. But I did discover if you get really wound up sexually by which I mean your clit getting teased to the point where your heads not on this earth with excstacy and your partner takes you analy then it really is a pleasure

i have to agree with misty69 there, i was the same first few times i tried anal sex, i use to get the burning feling etc, but if i had my clit teased to the point of no return and then taken anally then there was no pain and only pure pleasure, i still enjoy anal and have to say the only way to enjoy it without pain it to take it slowly and relax and then u wont look back at all...Lucylou

Hey there, had to get into this discussion, i used to find anal quite painful at first, until i saw an interview wth a porn star and took her advice. She said that before she did anal scenes, she would sit in her dressing room and make herself cum, making her more relaxed. So i tried it, and it worked a treat. I'm now at the stage that i don't have to cum first but it definately worked for me when i was new to the whole thing.

Redbubble77 - yes, you do 'shrink back down' with time, so just get your favourite arse toys and lube out again and maybe your new man will enjoy helping you loosen up! Oh, and what about wearing a butt plug around the house for a couple of hours beforehand?
I always find that the more turned on I am the stretchier I get and the more I want inside me. That's what I mean by loosening up - pop in your starter toy and get used to it, then once you're craving more, move up to your next toy and more lube, get used to that (I'd favour a plug I can wear for a while, maybe a vibrating one) and maybe you need another toy (perhaps a dildo) and some more lube before you're ready for your big boy. Taking Sarah's advice above, perhaps you could have a little DP fun along the way to give you a nice relaxing orgasm. Mmmmm!
See - there's a very enjoyable evening all mapped out for you!
Throw in a bottle of wine, maybe a sexy vid and badda boom badda bing.

I've got to highly recommend the Doc Johnson Anal Lube. It's great for using when you want to wear a plug for long periods of time.

Hey Tallboy
Actually, I was just about to place an order that includes a small vibrating plug for just that purpose. I really adore my Blue Thunder but the base is too chunky to wear it around and I don't want to wreck it by hacking it into a t-base. So I've been looking for something similar in size that I can wear for londer periods, like all day. The vibe bit is so I can give myself a little zap every now and then!

I've gone for a small one because I figure it will be more comfortable than the medium-sized plugs I use for DP while fucking. They're good but leave me with a touch of the John Waynes.

Hey, Alyssa - have you considered an nJoy stainless steel butt plug for all day use? No vibrations, but the neck is narrow and they're weighty for added pleasure!

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9041

I love it when girls are into anal play :-)

I cant believe ive found a heat lover.
I must be the only man like it.
When alone i have a fan heater on in the bedroom, it gets so toasty.
When the wife is out i love the heating on max and i love my car heater on high, thought i was alone.

steve

x

my husband and i both enjoy being arse fucked.we recomend anal eazze to numb you a little and loads of liquid silk.my old man found it hard at first a little feels like a lot.i found one finger in going round and round and sucking him worked beads went in easy them small toys.relax it will happen when your ready.watch men and woman being a fucked,i enjoy both holes being done together but not at first.do him if he does you all inhibations will go.nothing is taboo to us, extreem is the way,anything tried once.i come more than ever, just anal even does it for me.porn showed me how to stretch old mans arse with fingers or thin toys.doing it to each other may help.its so horny.good anal pounding to you both

Hello everyone, I have read most of your comments and they are WONDEFUL advise. I recently bought my first anal toy and me and my boyfriend want to try anal but go about it in the right way. I want to explore myself first but I dont really know where and/or how to start. Do I start with a finger first or just use the toy directly? What is the best position while just exploring with yourself? If anyone has any advice it will be greatly appreciated! Thanks again

My boyfriend and I tryed anal tonight for the first time and were very successful! Started out with one finger and worked up to three, then the anal top went in sooo smoothly! After that I was ready for him to penetrate me...he went extremely slow and with every inch I had to breathe deep and relax. After about 10 minutes, it felt so amazing! The best sex and best orgasm I have ever had! Definitiely recremend giving it a chance and always remember...lube, lube, and more lube.

Thanks to everyone for the great advice!!

Congratulations! It's interesting how quickly you coped with the new sensations and were able to orgasm first time. I really like being pegged but it took a long time to get used to the sensations sufficiently to orgasm from it.

Perhaps you could suggest you get a strap-on and see if he likes receiving as well as giving :-)