• swapping from submissive to dom

    fluffykitty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 30 Jan 2010

    Hey, not overlly sure how to put this or where to start so sorry if it comes out muddled.

    I am normally a very submissive female and Im very comfortable in this role, satisfying others and fulfilling their needs is what gets me off. To put it simply.

    I am now however, with a very submissive male, one who would like (and I get the feeling need) to be under lock and key chasitity wise and to have a good mistress who will keep him in line.

    I was wondering if there are any swappers out there, anyone who often swaps roles or has just done it once or twice. I want to be everything he needs sexually as we are so unbelievably compatable over everything else. So I'm not really looking for tips on what to do such as tieing up, but more advice on how to get mentally ready for trying this role reversal.

    oh and on a bit of a side note, do any of you bondage lovers have this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=7971 or similar? I want to know how long the reins are to know if they will be a good length when doing him from behind doggy style, I will probably send the question to the LH people but hoped someone might have first hand knowledge of how it holds up

    thanks for listening and any advice, Fluffy x

    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 8863
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    I'd suggest a forum search, there are a couple of resident doms here! They have all posted extensively about such things! :)

    OperationFilth [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 799
    • Joined: 12 Oct 2008

    Another place that might help would be the fetlife boards, I don't know if you have an account for there [I do].

    Personally, I am a sub but aware that in the right circumstances, maybe I'd find my switch side - though I really don't see it happening! [really, really don't!] What's best to search for would be 'switch' or 'switching' as people who practice both sides are commonly referred to as switches.

    Lady Luna [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 39
    • Joined: 28 Dec 2009

    I'm a switcher. Hi!

    Just like you, I'm a sub by nature but have a partner who's perfect other than being just as naturally submissive as I am! As a whole I retain the submissive role...but I find that being really worked up yourself can be a good way of getting yourself into the dominant mentality. Having your parnter tied up at your beck and call will also help you 'come out of yourself' so to speak; if they can't act, you HAVE to take charge, and it gets addictive.

    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1515
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    fluffy kitty dont know if you will come back to this theard you don't seem to have come back and told us all how you got on, if your'e an up and running switcher now thats great more couples should try in my oppinion but we all have to be true to our real selves. we just need to be sure what that is though before we dismiss something out side our comfort zone there can be great thing found out of the zone

    you say you want to prepare you self mentally for it so you are half way there, to explain my experience, wheni asked my recent ex if she hade ever thought about being a dom she curlde up. oh no i couldn't bare to hut you i said what you call hurt i call bliss, trust me and respect me enough to accept that i know what i like. so i started her of with a playful slap to my bare ass. ooh nice she said make me feel i could do anything, i like this feeling. 5 minutes later she was giving me the arse whipping of my life. she was soaking the carpet and getting off on it big style, i i was in red arse heaven,

    it often doesnt include any thing more than verbal put downs or a collar and leash for some couples. so what ever rocks your boat communal boat just take care till he finds his iimits if its pain he likes, some of us like to be naughty just so mistress will be forced to give us what we really want. others are looking for the comfort of having their every thought and action under mistresses all knowing control. im a naughty boy my self i used to get spanked by mistress just because i had caused her to have a very sore hand. but i have no problem switiching the other way and liked to travel back and forth on a reglular basis before we split.

    so i guess what i am saying to you is try something small and build as you are ready to. read all you like but until you do something you will never know how it feels for you. i had to keep a tight rein on my ex very quickly or she would quickly have exceeded even my taste, for such things, it was what she really really liked and she started a compleate sub. so i wouldnt underestimate you capacity to love it once you get going. she could switch back too, she even wanted to try being spanked which was way out of her zone the other way. not into pain. but we never got that far

    good luck MISTRESS fluffy kitty may be you will end up changing your name to mistress she Lion.

    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 646
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2009

    Good advice A4E. I'm exactly the same kitty! Im more of a sub and so is my woman but she wants me to be more dom. I havent done much yet in the way of dom but to start off with ive found blindfolding her very helpful? Its wierd and im not sure why it helps but it makes me a bit braver if she cant see me! x MC x

    MasterKazugami [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 40
    • Joined: 4 Mar 2009

    I think the word your looking for is a switch, someone who enjoys being both a Dom or a sub, its not really uncommon though. I've met a many of switch people, not a switch myself but then I just am unable to submit to someone.

    Firewolf [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 191
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2010

    Am somewhat a switcher, since my OH from time to time (hardly at all, but still) likes to get his ass owned by me so to say.

    Yet to put in in percentages, Id have to say that 90% of me is submissive, 10% dominant- in a dorment snoozing state -

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