• Which Fleshlight to buy, is it worth it and a moral question?!

    1471646093
    RedMale [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys I'm after some advice and don't really know what to buy in terms of a fleshlight.

    Firstly, I'm a Bixsexual male and pretty much up for trying anything. Pointing this out will become familiar later on.

    Question 1

    I've been looking through the ones at Lovehoney and they all seem to show the same texture for the vaginal openings apart from the STU, Pink Lady and the alien one and the butt versions all seem to be the same apart from the Go Surge.

    I'm torn between the Alien Fleshlight, the Go Surge and (this is where the Bisexual statement comes into play) the Brent Corrigan fleshlight.

    All look appealing but I just don't know which to pick. I'm defintley picking up the shower mount with it.

    Can anyone reccomend one?

    Question 2

    My next question really is as it states - Is it worth such the high price? Being 21 and having been in university I get to use my 20% off student discount so it isn't too bad. I placed both the shower mount and fleshlight into my basket, added a dildo in there, a butt plug etc and the price soon shot up to the £100+ mark so I am slightly put off by the price.

    How are these different to say the £10 to £20 masturbators I've been buying?

    Question 3

    Question 3 is more of a morality/not sure quesiton. I'm currently in a relationship with my girlfriend of 6 months and we're getting on pretty well. In terms of sexuality and our sexual wellbeing, we've yet to have sex and she's a virgin but we've been slowly moving forward with handjobs etc and now she's on contraception, won't be long before we're having sex. I'm super curious and will try ANYTHING that tickles my fancy and am open to speaking about it.

    I've discussed that I buy toys, have toys and use toys and she's alright with it. We've discussed using them together and she's open to the idea so there's a plus.

    My question really is more focused on the Anal fleshlights - specifically the Brent Corrigan fleshlight if I buy it. Would it be wrong for me to get one either branded for Brent Corrigan or the regular Surge because I'm in a relationship? I mean I'm Bisexual so it's all good but I'm more thinking on her end. As far as I know, I don't think she knows I'm Bi.

    Any help is appreciated.

    Thanks!

    1471648978
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    Question 1:

    I'd reccomend one of the flesh toned varieties as your first Fleshlight, so either Brent or the Go Surge. The Alien, being blue rather than flesh toned, is going to require more maintainance as it goes super sticky after washing, which the flesh toned ones don't (or at least not as dramatically). The flesh tones still need powdered with renewal powder but it's not as big a deal. If the stickiness or higher maintainance is likely to put you off, don't get the alien. Our Alien hasn't had much use since we got flesh toned varieties simply because it's a pain in the butt by comparison, although it does feel great when you're done powdering.

    Since you're a student and presumably going to be living with others, the Go Surge might be a better option being slightly smaller and easier to store discreetly? It would also be better if you're travelling to her place to use it together.

    Question 2:

    That's a hard one to be concise about. In a nut shell they are FAR higher quality and better feel than most cheaper options. At least, in my opinion. The hard case and suction features are well worth the money too. With good care they'll last you ages too, so think of it as an investment. If you can afford it, they're worth it. There are cheaper options that are almost as good in many respects, but none quite like the three you've mentioned.

    Question 3:

    It wouldn't be wrong for you to get the Brent, but it could make her more threatened if she thinks you're fantasising about other men rather than simply playing with toys. The fact that it is a specific person, male or female, rather than just a toy, could be problem to her. That depends entirely on her of course; some people feel insecure when they find out their partner likes both sexes as they feel they can't be everything you want but some don't mind at all, and of course some find it hot to share same sex fantasies with you. You'd need to know how she feels about this to know whether she'd see a 'gay' toy as any different/more threatening than a 'straight' toy, or if a toy modelled on a real person would bother her. There's nothing wrong with you buying it just because you're in a relationship (especially considering she's fine with you using toys), but if you're buying it specifically to use with her then you're quite correct in taking her views into account.

    The Go Surge would be a safer option in this respect as you can imagine it being a male (and any male at that, not just Brent!), but she doesn't need to think of it as anything other than an anal orifice if she feels inadequate or uncomfortable at the thought of you fantasising about something she can never be for you (i.e. a man). Nothing defines it as male once it is out of the box, it's just an ass. The textures look pretty awesome too!

    It would definitely be worth having a conversation to ensure she knows you are bi, for the sake of openness if nothing else but it could help you make this decision. You don't want something like this to come out when she googles the signature on the Brent toy and finds out it's a male porn star, it's far better to be open with people. You sound like you quite have your heart set on Brent, if so have the talk and see where you stand. If she is fine with it, great, if not, you've still got the Surge. Alternatively, if you really can't face the conversation at this point in the relationship, Brent could simply be your private time toy? It sounds like you have other toys you could use with her?

    Then of course there is the matter of realistic orifices as a whole; you say she's ok with toys, but do you know if she's ok with realistic looking toys? For some people this is an issue. If you think she'd feel intimidated by a realitic toy or that she'd simply prefer to use a non realitic toy when using it with you, the Alien would be the best choice of those three.

    Good luck with your decision! :)

    1471649878
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello! Because I don't have a penis I have little advice about flashlights.

    However, in regards to Question 3, I would say it's a good idea to come out as bi to your girlfriend. Its a part of yourself that you shouldn't hide. At least that's always my attitude when it comes to serious partners. She should understand, particularly of you also make it clear you have no interest in having sex/relationship with anyone but her.

    As far as the feeling guilty thing goes, you really shouldn't for using any sex toy. Particularly as you say she knows you use toys and she's fine with it. If I was you I wouldn't really mention the toys much, especially if you're building up to her having sex for the first time, she may feel slightly threatened by them.

    Do you think you're actually feeling a little bad because she doesn't know about your sexuality rather than it really having anything to do with the morality of certain sex toys? If so I think you'd feel better coming out to her as bi rather than discussing the particular sex toys you use.

    Hope this is helpful, good luck x

    1471650655
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    I couldn't say better than lovebirds, the only thing for me ( just my thoughts) is that you have not told her you are bi, you only think she may not know. I relise you may limit your dating pool, by being out as a bi, and maybe you feel you are not ready ingeneral to be out. But Imagine how she would feel if she lost her virginity to you, and some one told her you were bi. she may accept your relationship or not at this point, but taking it further and denighing her her right to choose, efectivly lying bt omission, that would be devistating to her. probably more for the fact you concealed it than the fact it's self. I'm bi too and wish the world didn't care one way or another, but this is her virginity you are talking about, it's likely a big deal to her.

    Please think on my words, I'm just trying to look out for you both, not have a go at you. Take care and I hope you have a long and happy relationship. on a side note will you feel you are hiding a part of your self in this relationship if you do keep it quiet, that can be hard to live with. trust me.

    1471653564
    RedMale [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    Question 1:

    I'd reccomend one of the flesh toned varieties as your first Fleshlight, so either Brent or the Go Surge. The Alien, being blue rather than flesh toned, is going to require more maintainance as it goes super sticky after washing, which the flesh toned ones don't (or at least not as dramatically). The flesh tones still need powdered with renewal powder but it's not as big a deal. If the stickiness or higher maintainance is likely to put you off, don't get the alien. Our Alien hasn't had much use since we got flesh toned varieties simply because it's a pain in the butt by comparison, although it does feel great when you're done powdering.

    Since you're a student and presumably going to be living with others, the Go Surge might be a better option being slightly smaller and easier to store discreetly? It would also be better if you're travelling to her place to use it together.

    Question 2:

    That's a hard one to be concise about. In a nut shell they are FAR higher quality and better feel than most cheaper options. At least, in my opinion. The hard case and suction features are well worth the money too. With good care they'll last you ages too, so think of it as an investment. If you can afford it, they're worth it. There are cheaper options that are almost as good in many respects, but none quite like the three you've mentioned.

    Question 3:

    It wouldn't be wrong for you to get the Brent, but it could make her more threatened if she thinks you're fantasising about other men rather than simply playing with toys. The fact that it is a specific person, male or female, rather than just a toy, could be problem to her. That depends entirely on her of course; some people feel insecure when they find out their partner likes both sexes as they feel they can't be everything you want but some don't mind at all, and of course some find it hot to share same sex fantasies with you. You'd need to know how she feels about this to know whether she'd see a 'gay' toy as any different/more threatening than a 'straight' toy, or if a toy modelled on a real person would bother her. There's nothing wrong with you buying it just because you're in a relationship (especially considering she's fine with you using toys), but if you're buying it specifically to use with her then you're quite correct in taking her views into account.

    The Go Surge would be a safer option in this respect as you can imagine it being a male (and any male at that, not just Brent!), but she doesn't need to think of it as anything other than an anal orifice if she feels inadequate or uncomfortable at the thought of you fantasising about something she can never be for you (i.e. a man). Nothing defines it as male once it is out of the box, it's just an ass. The textures look pretty awesome too!

    It would definitely be worth having a conversation to ensure she knows you are bi, for the sake of openness if nothing else but it could help you make this decision. You don't want something like this to come out when she googles the signature on the Brent toy and finds out it's a male porn star, it's far better to be open with people. You sound like you quite have your heart set on Brent, if so have the talk and see where you stand. If she is fine with it, great, if not, you've still got the Surge. Alternatively, if you really can't face the conversation at this point in the relationship, Brent could simply be your private time toy? It sounds like you have other toys you could use with her?

    Then of course there is the matter of realistic orifices as a whole; you say she's ok with toys, but do you know if she's ok with realistic looking toys? For some people this is an issue. If you think she'd feel intimidated by a realitic toy or that she'd simply prefer to use a non realitic toy when using it with you, the Alien would be the best choice of those three.

    Good luck with your decision! :)

    Hi Lovebirds,

    I was underestimating the detail of the replies I would get but wow you've done well there. Really detailed post so I congratulate and appreciate that fully!

    Question 1

    I'm now back at home so I suppose the descrection could be something to consider with the Go Surge. This has now made my mind up in which to get out of the three and I'm certainly going to stick to the fleshtoned now you mention the maintenence aspect. I remeber having a similar toy and the stickyness was a put off so again a factor now I can go by.

    Question 2

    Again, convincing answer and those options aren't something you find on the lower-end toys or atleast you get much less control over it. But yes, I'm glad you've pointed that out.

    Question 3

    When I usually go for sex toys I usually buy them in batches to last me a while and then it allows me to treat myself every once in a while. The ammount I was going to put down was equivilent of a fleshlight/fleshjack so I thought what the hell, why not. The Brent Corrigan was my first choice, not because of the porn star himself but more I liked the colour of the case (hehe). I've never actually watched his videos before and don't really have an interest in him it was more for the texture of the toy but yes I do kinda have my heart set on the Brent one. I was reading the reviews and one Bisexual male commented but further reviews suggest he's with a female partner so I would assume it's ok?

    I do have other toys I can use with my partner but I honestly don't think she'd mind using it on me but as you say, it could be the fleshlight I use in my own spare time and say buy another that's generic for my partner.

    I say "I don't think she knows I'm Bi" because I met her in college and going through college was mainly the time for me discovering myself and low and behold it's when I found out I was Bi. If I recall correctly, I either told her or she found out and was cool with it but unsure (been about 3/4 years since then) so I think she may have forgotten.

    I'm on the fence about mentioning purely because some people have voted against it and some for. The against side is mainly down to "You're with her so why would it matter her knowing you're bi" whereas the for side are, like you say, to be in an honest and open relationship. I'm scared to mention it as I don't want to hurt her but I suppose to keep things open I shoudl talk about it.

    Jezebella wrote:

    Hello! Because I don't have a penis I have little advice about flashlights.

    However, in regards to Question 3, I would say it's a good idea to come out as bi to your girlfriend. Its a part of yourself that you shouldn't hide. At least that's always my attitude when it comes to serious partners. She should understand, particularly of you also make it clear you have no interest in having sex/relationship with anyone but her.

    As far as the feeling guilty thing goes, you really shouldn't for using any sex toy. Particularly as you say she knows you use toys and she's fine with it. If I was you I wouldn't really mention the toys much, especially if you're building up to her having sex for the first time, she may feel slightly threatened by them.

    Do you think you're actually feeling a little bad because she doesn't know about your sexuality rather than it really having anything to do with the morality of certain sex toys? If so I think you'd feel better coming out to her as bi rather than discussing the particular sex toys you use.

    Hope this is helpful, good luck x

    Hi Jezebella,

    Again, appreciate your time for replying to my post!

    I do feel kinda bad for keeping my sexuality a secret with her. Some say I should, some say I shouldn't so I'm in a real catch-22. I think I'm going to mention it to her as we're 6 months in and getting somewhat serious now so it seems right to tell her. Maybe that is the way to do it as you say, talk about me being bi then sex toys.

    Alicia4Ever wrote:

    I couldn't say better than lovebirds, the only thing for me ( just my thoughts) is that you have not told her you are bi, you only think she may not know. I relise you may limit your dating pool, by being out as a bi, and maybe you feel you are not ready ingeneral to be out. But Imagine how she would feel if she lost her virginity to you, and some one told her you were bi. she may accept your relationship or not at this point, but taking it further and denighing her her right to choose, efectivly lying bt omission, that would be devistating to her. probably more for the fact you concealed it than the fact it's self. I'm bi too and wish the world didn't care one way or another, but this is her virginity you are talking about, it's likely a big deal to her.

    Please think on my words, I'm just trying to look out for you both, not have a go at you. Take care and I hope you have a long and happy relationship. on a side note will you feel you are hiding a part of your self in this relationship if you do keep it quiet, that can be hard to live with. trust me.

    Hi Alicia4Ever,

    Appreciate the reply!

    Yes I fully agree with what Lovebirds said and what you say, no need to worry I didn't take it as you were having a go haha.

    But yes, you're right. Her losing her virginity to me and my sexuality is something I should discuss beforehand. If she felt like she regret it purely because I told her I'm Bi I would be devistated so yes, a good shout.

    1471660448
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't be unsure about telling her because of what others say, take what is said and use your own moral compass to make the final decision, not a vote by number, of fors and againsts.

    If she did know I doubt she would forget it; it;s a girl thing !

    And if she does, and you tell her, to say you want to be sure she did remember, and how important you think it is for her to know. Well lets just say if I were her, I would be like, aww thats soooooo sweet that you are thinking about my feelings so much. Like 1000 brownie points straight off.

    1471670909
    Luscious Libby [sign in to see picture]
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    I have a slightly different view to others in that in answer to question 3 I don't think her knowing about your bisexuality matters unless you want to have an open relationship with others. If you are looking to remain in a monogamous relationship with her then I question the need to tell her. I do get that it's important to be open and honest in a relationship but this is a tricky situation. On the one hand she may be upset if you didn't tell her but on the other she may worry if you do tell her. I also don't think you should feel guilty for not telling her unless she has asked your sexuality and you have lied. If the question hasn't come up then again nothing to feel guilty about.

    In respect of her virginity I see the point made about telling her before but there is also the possibility that telling her about your sexuality could Marr the experience just as much.

    I did have a boyfriend who was bisexual and told me midway in the relationship, he was also a virgin, now he told me mainly because he wasn't actually sure at the time whether he was bi or gay and whilst our relationship was monogamous he wanted me to know that he was unsure of where our relationship was headed. For me had he not told me the reason for telling me (his uncertainty of his sexuality) then I would be wondering why he was telling me and probably assuming it meant he wanted an open relationship as for me his sexuality was not an issue and I wouldn't have had a problem if he hadn't told me. So if you do tell her make sure you are clear why you are telling her.

    1471818092
    RedMale [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia4Ever wrote:

    Don't be unsure about telling her because of what others say, take what is said and use your own moral compass to make the final decision, not a vote by number, of fors and againsts.

    If she did know I doubt she would forget it; it;s a girl thing !

    And if she does, and you tell her, to say you want to be sure she did remember, and how important you think it is for her to know. Well lets just say if I were her, I would be like, aww thats soooooo sweet that you are thinking about my feelings so much. Like 1000 brownie points straight off.

    Luscious Libby wrote:

    I have a slightly different view to others in that in answer to question 3 I don't think her knowing about your bisexuality matters unless you want to have an open relationship with others. If you are looking to remain in a monogamous relationship with her then I question the need to tell her. I do get that it's important to be open and honest in a relationship but this is a tricky situation. On the one hand she may be upset if you didn't tell her but on the other she may worry if you do tell her. I also don't think you should feel guilty for not telling her unless she has asked your sexuality and you have lied. If the question hasn't come up then again nothing to feel guilty about.

    In respect of her virginity I see the point made about telling her before but there is also the possibility that telling her about your sexuality could Marr the experience just as much.

    I did have a boyfriend who was bisexual and told me midway in the relationship, he was also a virgin, now he told me mainly because he wasn't actually sure at the time whether he was bi or gay and whilst our relationship was monogamous he wanted me to know that he was unsure of where our relationship was headed. For me had he not told me the reason for telling me (his uncertainty of his sexuality) then I would be wondering why he was telling me and probably assuming it meant he wanted an open relationship as for me his sexuality was not an issue and I wouldn't have had a problem if he hadn't told me. So if you do tell her make sure you are clear why you are telling her.

    Yeah, now that you make that point it is something I shouldn't really let others decide for me. As an update I can say that I have told her, I may have been intoxicated haha. Anyway, I asked her did I ask her last night and she agreed but I recall the conversation we had and it seems the answer in the morning was the same - she loves me for who i am not my sexuality which was nice!

    And yeah Libby I see your point too. She didn't seem puzzled that I'd told her so it was all good. I shoudl have really told her when we got together but it seems different now.

    I also discussed about sex toys more and there's no problem with me using sex toys so it's all good and she's got an interest too so there's that. Either way I'm just overthinking as usual! Haha.

    Anywho, I ordered, very excitingly, the Brent Corrigan Fleshlight which will be here Monday so hopefully it'll all be fun from here!

    Appreciate all the help and advice! :)

    1471831699
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you thought of bringing in pegging now, she may really like that idea, thats if you are intersted in being bottom sometimes, a lot of girls love the power play with it, giving the guy a taste of recieving. And if you are happily getting that kind of sex from her, she may feel you are less likely to feel it's something you are missing out on, by being with her.

    she sounds like one you should hang onto, from what you say she has said. I'm glad it worked good for you, you will feel at ease now, instead of carrying a secret. And able to go into things you would maybe have struggled to bring up with her.

    1472156147
    RedMale [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia4Ever wrote:

    Have you thought of bringing in pegging now, she may really like that idea, thats if you are intersted in being bottom sometimes, a lot of girls love the power play with it, giving the guy a taste of recieving. And if you are happily getting that kind of sex from her, she may feel you are less likely to feel it's something you are missing out on, by being with her.

    she sounds like one you should hang onto, from what you say she has said. I'm glad it worked good for you, you will feel at ease now, instead of carrying a secret. And able to go into things you would maybe have struggled to bring up with her.

    An update, i returned the fleshlight shortly after. The size was somewhat offputting and well, the texture seemed bland but once I recieve a refund I may buy another.

    But yes, pegging sounds an interest of mine so I'll make her aware of that, thanks!

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