• Sex addiction how bad do you think you have to be?

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    All my adult life I can't go much more than 15 mins without thinking about sex. Wife just smiles and says I am insatiable. If she'd let me I'd make love to her 3 times a day.

    How much is to much and at what point is it addiction?

    1401922857
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm not sure how much is too much , I've always thought about sex a lot but these days its probably about every 15 mins or so. I'd happily have sex at least once a day and its got to the point where I'm unable to see men without imagining them naked and wondering what they're like in bed!
    Not sure that this is normal, maybe its my hormones or something? I suppose an addiction only becomes a problem when it starts to take over your life, I don't think I'm addicted I just love sex :-)

    1401927841
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't think sex can be an addiction, rather a sliding scale with some on one end, who are not interested at all and some at the other end, who think about it and want it as often as possible. Most of us sit somewhere along the scale (Although considering this is a sex toy forum, maybe most here sit above the 50% mark)

    All are normal. To think otherwise would be to start labelling (Of which we do, with labels from Prude through to slut) the reality is we all just desire at different intensities.

    Its all about perspective really. I mean person A could be called a sex addict by partner B because person A keeps on initiating sex often, but person B thinks it is way too much. How ironic then that if person A got with person C, who wanted sex twice as often as person A, it might be that person A becomes the "prude"

    If you see what I mean? So I do not think sex addiction exists. I do think feeling ashamed of your desires or drive exists and that others can make you feel that you are abnormal, which causes you to self doubt or believe you are abnormal and think you have an addiction.

    At the very least, sex is not an addiction in the way people would view any other addiction. You don't get sick if denied, you don't start sweating and shaking in a corner, contemplating crime just to get your next fix etc.

    It is possible to get into a cycle of thinking about it a lot, thinking about thinking about it and questioning yourself and your desires, but unless you literally cannot function without sex, NEED it to feel well and to get through the next day, heck the next hour then I would not class it as an addiction, just a passion :)

    In saying all this, I do believe it is possible to become extremely focused on certain aspects of sex, to the detriment of other areas of your life and relationships and I think our life experiences can give us warped realities on things relating to sex, which can affect our sex life one way or the other. It is quite complex!

    Hmmm interesting question!

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    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
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    im always thinking about sex and fantasize about having sex with every woman i come into contact with

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags wrote:

    At the very least, sex is not an addiction in the way people would view any other addiction. You don't get sick if denied, you don't start sweating and shaking in a corner, contemplating crime just to get your next fix etc.

    Those are signs of physical dependency, which may accompany addiction but isn't synonomous with it. Sex addiction can lead to very destructive behaviours like compulsive cheating, compulsive masturbation, and so on, but those things aren't illegal or particularly high cost. Someone can certainly spend too much money because of a sex addiction but if the money isn't there, what's the easiest route? Figuring out how to resell stolen goods or going to a nightclub or downloading porn?

    There isn't any agreement on what delineates addiction, though pretty much all of the social and community workers I know who work with people with addictions approach it in very pragmatic terms - how much control/choice does the individual have over the behaviours and what are the consequences.

    That's the criteria I'd recommend people look at if they're concerned about their behaviours. Are they negatively impacting their lives? Would things be better if they spent less time or money in those pursuits? What about the lives of people around them, including family, friends and partners?

    It's not sex-negative to recognise that addictive behaviours around sex do exist.

    1401956943
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    rose hip wrote:

    Fluffbags wrote:

    At the very least, sex is not an addiction in the way people would view any other addiction. You don't get sick if denied, you don't start sweating and shaking in a corner, contemplating crime just to get your next fix etc.

    Those are signs of physical dependency, which may accompany addiction but isn't synonomous with it. Sex addiction can lead to very destructive behaviours like compulsive cheating, compulsive masturbation, and so on, but those things aren't illegal or particularly high cost. Someone can certainly spend too much money because of a sex addiction but if the money isn't there, what's the easiest route? Figuring out how to resell stolen goods or going to a nightclub or downloading porn?

    There isn't any agreement on what delineates addiction, though pretty much all of the social and community workers I know who work with people with addictions approach it in very pragmatic terms - how much control/choice does the individual have over the behaviours and what are the consequences.

    That's the criteria I'd recommend people look at if they're concerned about their behaviours. Are they negatively impacting their lives? Would things be better if they spent less time or money in those pursuits? What about the lives of people around them, including family, friends and partner(s)?

    It's not sex-negative to recognise that addictive behaviours around sex do exist.

    I for once found myself thinking Fluffbags was a little off-mark, and this is so perfectly described.

    I had an addiction to a non-illegal activity, and as a high functioning individual it was so against my character. I would not be able to control myself, and afterwards I regretted it so much, but that didn't stop me doing exactly the same 3 hours later, it's an impulse that your conscious mind tells you not to do, but somehow you end up doing it anyway, and then regret it. This started 10 years ago, family noticed the problem after about 3 years, and I've now been "over it" for about a year. Some days though I find old habits returning.

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    MattB [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree - it's only a problem if it becomes a problem!

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    PetiteJess [sign in to see picture]
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    I think sex becomes an addiction when it disrupts you’re everyday life. I watched a documentary once on nymphomania and those who suffered from sex addiction struggled with day to day activities; sex really took over everything. They also struggled to hold down relationships, where putting sex before other obligations and responsibilities and was putting themselves in dangerous situations to get sex.

    I would say that thinking of sex or wanting sex is natural; some have higher libidos than others, it’s just when you can’t function without it that’s when it becomes a problem.

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