• Sex toy talk - I think I went too far

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    Stephanie [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello everyone!

    I hope you've been enjoying your weekend. I've had a lovely time at a hen weekend in a big house with about 20 of us. We were all over 21 and nobody drank more than they could handle so we were all able to play games and get to know each other without any booze-fuelled drama, which was lovely!

    I think I did something bad though... The girls on the hen do were less knowledgeable about sex toys than I am (obvious really, since I work at Lovehoney) and when they started asking loads of questions about my job I tried to be honest and informative, as always. We somehow got onto talking about tail butt plugs, which no-one had heard of before, so I was explaining a little about kitten and puppy play and then when someone asked what other fetishes we cater for I mentioned urethral sounding, which everyone was amusingly squeamish about...

    But then one girl said, "Did you say butt plug? What IS that?" And I suddenly felt awful! This poor girl, perhaps completely new to the concept of sex toys, has had her first glimpse into the world be me talking about kitten play and urethral sounding! I forget how shocking these things can be to people who are new to the concept, since I'm so accustomed to talking about them in the office every day. I was just yacking away thoughtlessly and now I feel awful. I hope I've not scared her off from ever looking at sex toys!

    What do you think? Have I done a sterling job of spreading sexual scariness this weekend instead of happiness? Do you remember the first time you heard about the concept of a butt plug?
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    IrishRose [sign in to see picture]
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    I would worry about it if they didn't want too know about such things they shouldnt ask for all the details of your job!

    mine first experience was when i read a steamy novel that mentioned butt plugs, i found the whole idea such a turn on i bough one xxx

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    Naked_butler [sign in to see picture]
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    Opening peoples eyes is never a bad thing.. not as if you offered to insert a butt plug into her hee hee

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    Puddleduck [sign in to see picture]
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    It's surprising how these days people are shocked by those sorts of things...
    I don't think you went to far you simply answered questions about your job honestly and informatively... a few months ago I was been asked about my toy collection and one woman was shocked by jiggle balls... she was from a different background and clearly hadn't read FSOG... In a group your always going to get some that know less than others :)

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    Kinky&Curvy [sign in to see picture]
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    When I talk to my friends who are a lot older than me about sex toys they find it interesting and ask me more, they are very open however so they can have a laugh. Though some are a little prudish but as naked_butler said it's not bad openin peoples eyes a little :D

    When I first heard of butt plugs I thought 'each to their own' haha, but since then I have become a little more intrigued to try them :P

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    Stephanie [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree it's a good thing to open people's eyes a little, but I've definitely learnt my lesson to test the water a little first! It's a much better idea to gently introduce someone to the idea of something like jiggle balls than to yack on carelessly about urethral sounding :/
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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Stephanie, I really wouldn't worry if I were you. I think you have done them all a huge favour, by opening their minds to things that they may never have had the chance to experience had they not have met you!

    I am guessing that they will be secretly doing a lot of research today - lol. The fact that they asked you so many questions, meant that although they were initially shocked, they were also very intrigued. Don't forget, they are likely only likely to explore the things that interested them. If urethral sounding doesn't appeal, then it's probably way at the bottom of the list of things on their TO DO list!

    The first time I heard about butt plugs etc. was from erotic books, and I thought to myself, I would really like to try that. I then found Lovehoney and the rest as they say is history...

    As they know where you work, don't be surprised if you see some orders from these ladies very soon!

    Hope you are having a lovely day and have lots of sunshine :) xx

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    mysterio [sign in to see picture]
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    I still remember the time when i got our first computer. Now please bare with me on this as i am talking about 1986 lol.

    There wrent you windows at that time. No Hard drives. No color screens. The most funny thing was that we thought that the computer was gonna answer back which it never did. Now i still remember please getting scared of even touching it incase they would break it. Even today here are some people who are scared to use computers.

    Its all about technology and new inventions. Before sextoys were invented, people use to use household stuff but now they got something which looks nice and alot more hygienic and safe.

    I think its got nothing to do with you making them scared. Its more about showing them a new side. Its not much different to someone who is into normal sex looking at bdsm. So stop feeling guilty about it and get a nice hot drink and enjoy your sunday

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it is a great thing to open people's eyes. I mean, new things can be scary or awkward for some people, but for all you know that girl went home and did some googling that has awoken new exciting interests to experiment with.

    I get that there are sensitive people in the world and some things might scare or disgust them and put them off things if they read or hear about it in a way that sounds too far, too soon, but this is your job and people were asking and unless they are super duper sensitive souls, I am sure hearing about it would not do much harm. We all hear things that shock us occasionally and when we do, it either piques an interest and we research, or we drop it and forget about it and move on. So I am sure the woman will be fine. Especially as you did it in a factual, educational way.

    I don't actually remember the first time I heard about butt plugs. Clearly I was not easily shocked or it would have lodged in my head better! lol

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    flaneur [sign in to see picture]
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    I can remember the first time I heard about butt plugs. It was an old joke about somebody giving away free (religious figure who I won't name) butt plugs. I then found out they were quite popular and not just for homosexuals. I wasn't particularly shocked or anything and they've featured in jokes ever since.

    At work I get asked to provide a dirty word for the day now, people still call me sick when the google the word and find out what it means, but it doesn't stop them asking again the next day.

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    [suspended user]

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    I agree with pretty much what everyone else has said, if they hadn't have wanted to know they shouldn't of asked. And there's no harm in telling people.

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    S&M sexy times [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouldn't worry as they asked about your job first & you answered them, human curosity is what helps us learn about something we may be interested in, it is always good to open people's minds to things if they wish to do so.

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    mysterio [sign in to see picture]
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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Stephanie wrote:

    This poor girl, perhaps completely new to the concept of sex toys, has had her first glimpse into the world be me talking about kitten play and urethral sounding! I forget how shocking these things can be to people who are new to the concept, since I'm so accustomed to talking about them in the office every day. I was just yacking away thoughtlessly and now I feel awful. I hope I've not scared her off from ever looking at sex toys!

    What do you think? Have I done a sterling job of spreading sexual scariness this weekend instead of happiness? Do you remember the first time you heard about the concept of a butt plug?

    I get what you're saying, Stephanie. There's opening someone's eyes and then there's overwhelming them. That's what you're talking about, right?

    Feeling awful isn't going to help, so let that go. Is there anything practical you can do? Do you know her well enough to offer a light apology ('sorry about that conversation, you know how they get") and a mention that those sorts of things aren't exactly top sellers? Or maybe a friend could pass it on, a "Stephanie's worried that she might have overwhelmed you' kind of thing?

    I'm not comfortable with how quick the responses here are to just brush aside whatever feelings that particular individual had. She wasn't asking, was she? Not until the what's a butt plug question. The rest was from other people, so she was probably feeling naive and inexperienced if not worse. Her feelings do matter and Stephanie is right to be concerned about them. This isn't saying that we should keep quiet about urethral sounding if we feel the need to talk about it, just that we all might want to keep this as a reminder to take some care with these sorts of subjects and in a group make sure everyone's on board.

    Think of it like the advice to beginners on anal. Start small and use lots of lube. ;-)

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Stephanie, please don't worry , I can give you a worse example

    There was a young naive apprentice working with a group of butchers and this lad was struggling to grasp the concept of work and speed he had to work. One of the butchers told him he wasn't even fit to be a butt plug. It was very interesting the next day seeing this guy trying to explain to the lads mother what a butt plug was as she confronted him as she dropped her son of at work.

    It was ok because at break, by way of saying sorry to the lad, they sent him down to the local bakery to buy 6 syphilis buns.

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    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouldn't worry about it they are now probably googling orr looking on LH right now .

    I used to have a cleaned and I left my butt plug on the floor I nearly died as she been cleaned that day I totally forgot about it . I could never look her in the face again

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    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    HA! I wouldnt worry - chuck them in the deep end and let them swim! It's not as if you pinned them down and gave them a live demonstration

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    Stephanie [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for your posts, everyone! Rose hip I think you're exactly right, I think I'll speak to one of her closer friends and get them to pass my apology on :)
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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    Stephanie next time maybe you should agree a safe word with everyone first :)

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    PurringTiger [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't think you went too far. It's a much better situation to find out about these things in an informative way than end up say - being embaressed when she gets asked in a smaller group of friends or by a partner and has no clue. This way she has had her eyes opened in a friendly place and if she wants to find out more then she can.

    If you do feel like you might have gone too far then doing as Rose hip suggests would help for sure.

    Bad sub!

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