• Advice for orgasm

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    Bubblesbutterfly [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, new to this site so not sure im doing this in the right place but here goes.

    No matter what i try i cannot bring myself off and its so frustrating!

    Im fine if its someone else doing things to me and have no issues there i just cant do it myself, has anyone else experianced this?

    1401563697
    Kinky&Curvy [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi & Welcome to the forums, what kind of toys have you been using?? Xx

    1401563744
    pr4wnst4r [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello and welcome to the forum
    I can assure you you're not the only one that can't orgasm alone. I find it easier to orgasm when it's someone else too. A vibrator however makes it extremely easy, especially a wand as they're so powerful it's quite hard not to!
    xx

    1401566599
    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    ,hi and welcome to forum.... And oh yeah!! This is definitely the right place to ask!😉
    Sounds like you orgasm only with penetrative sex...... So have you true any toys for the g spot?... There is loads here to choose from..

    1401584888
    mysterio [sign in to see picture]
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    If you dont mind, can i ask whether its the penetration which makes you orgasm or the clit? From the little i know and read that there are alot of women who cant have orgasms in particular situation so you not the only one. It takes a bit of tweaking and you should be good to go.

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi BB, welcome to be forums. I think this will be just the place for you.

    I would agree with all the other guys. I know it's very personal but it would help us to help you if you could let us know a little more about your sexual preferences. As posted before it might be that you just prefer to be penetrated or have an over sensitive clit. Whatever it is we can and will help.

    One thing I would add to the list is it might be as simple as you feeling that solo play is just wrong, dirty or naughty. My wife had never masturbated until I asked her to for me to watch. If you have the confidence this is a very erotic thing to do for your partner and can be very liberating. It will also help you find out what you enjoy it will also show your OH how you like to be stimulated. As you are able to orgasm together I feel sure you will get there.

    1401621207
    Bubblesbutterfly [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for replying everyone, im glad its not just me.

    I've tried with rampant rabbits, bullet vibrators and just plain old hands and I'll have a small climax but still feel like Im not done. I'll then have to endure the rest of the day on edge until i can try and fail again.

    I think its both. Problem is by the time im nearly ready my husbands finished, doesnt like being told im not done or that he hasnt made me come, as he hasnt managed to in 6years of marriage. Oh no, im not overly confident but I dont view touching myself negitively so its not my mindset...I dont think.

    Im definately going to have to invest in one of those wands though.

    Thanks for replying, was a little worried about asking a group of strangers online about something so personal but you've all been really nice.

    1401621666
    Dragonfly86 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    Hi, Sorry I'm late in replying.

    My easiest advice is to not thinking about it or concentrate on it, my wife used to say a guy has never made her orgasm, I set it as my challenge to allow her to orgasm. She used to get so tense over it, in the end I told her to relax, don't think about it and go with the flow.... After a while she went with it and finished off with a dry orgasm... We invested in a bullet, moved onto a larger beginners toy both worked well & then we bought a larger more powerful toy (in the sale) its perfect and worked great wonders... If you want my advise I tried something that worked really well.

    Buy a bottle of Liquid silk, get your partner to rub it on there thumb and rub it over your clit. It will feel strange but after a few minutes it gets you to where you want to be, then carry on with sex or whatever you want to do. And relax & enjoy, you might find your orgasm again during sex after this thumb play.

    Enjoy :)

    1401627826
    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 19 Aug 2010

    Bubblesbutterfly wrote:

    Hi, new to this site so not sure im doing this in the right place but here goes.

    No matter what i try i cannot bring myself off and its so frustrating!

    Im fine if its someone else doing things to me and have no issues there i just cant do it myself, has anyone else experianced this?

    If you don't want to go into detail on what your OH does that works for you, that's fine. But try adding in some self-stimulation (fingers or vibe) while you're together. Hopefully your mind will learn to associate what you're doing with orgasm and it will be easier to get there on your own.

    When you're on your own, experiment with different vibes and your own touch and if you feel like you're getting there but it stops, think back to what was going on just then. We're all different there. I can't orgasm if I'm thinking too much (like a fantasy or paying close attention for a review). Just letting the sensations take over works better for me. Other people are the opposite. Maybe you can tease out something you're doing that's getting in the way.

    Good luck, you'll get there. :-)

    1401630572
    mysterio [sign in to see picture]
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    Bubblesbutterfly wrote:


    Thanks for replying everyone, im glad its not just me.

    I've tried with rampant rabbits, bullet vibrators and just plain old hands and I'll have a small climax but still feel like Im not done. I'll then have to endure the rest of the day on edge until i can try and fail again.

    I think its both. Problem is by the time im nearly ready my husbands finished, doesnt like being told im not done or that he hasnt made me come, as he hasnt managed to in 6years of marriage. Oh no, im not overly confident but I dont view touching myself negitively so its not my mindset...I dont think.

    Im definately going to have to invest in one of those wands though.

    Thanks for replying, was a little worried about asking a group of strangers online about something so personal but you've all been really nice.

    I am not sure whether i am right or wrong in saying this but i think your husband need to know about this but not openly or straight to the point where you say that i havent orgasmed in 6 years cause that might shatter his comfidence. I am not saying that you go all out and say it but something along the lines that should we try something like a cock ring or a delay solution. Check out china brush and read its reviews as i can swear by it as i would cum within a minute(lack of sex) without it and he can use cock ring with it. You an suggest something along the lines that you read that cock rings can give better erection with veins popping out(not that he needs it but would be nice to just look). Maybe you got more toys and you want something for him or surprise him by getting them and if he doesnt like it than you got LH 12 months return anyways.

    Now for you, I think you would know your body better than anyone else. Are you the kind of person who like penetrative sex or vibrations on your clit? are you the size queen or go for average size? would you enjoy gspot more or clit?

    I know you mentioned a wand. Now this is one toy which is a MUST for every house. Its like you can cook on it and do your diy with it LMAO. Jokes aside but i have used magic wand under the sentive area of my penis and it has made me cum and men dont really think wand as there toy. If i am not mistaking, LH is doing free attachment with it right now as well so might be a good time to get one :) I feel that no rabbit can come close to wand due to its big head and powerful vibrations. I would also advice you get another vibrator or a dildo depending on your preference of size and whether you want a gpot one or just realistic look.

    I know it might be a bit difficult at first to find the right combination but i am sure that with time you can get there. I have always had a problem with PE due to lack of sex but rather than someone who just have sex for a minute and sleep i worked on how to make a woman orgasm. How to do oral and how to use my fingers and what things are there to help me with my PE. If you still feel that you are unable to than its always good to read and find out ways and trust me that you would get there in time.

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    A lot of men seem to think that they've failed if their partner hasn't had an orgasm and certainly don't like to be told about it. You say that" by the time I'm nearly ready he's finished" sounds like you need to spend a bit longer on foreplay so that you have your orgasm first.

    As for playing on your own ,do you fantasise while doing it? Never underestimate the power of imagination. I find that it doesn't matter how good the toy that I'm using I usually have to fantasise in order to orgasm on my own.And lube is also very important especially some of the warming or tingling ones, I always cum faster when using those. I agree those small climaxes that leave you feeling unfinished are frustrating but here is something I read about recently that I've tried and it does work. Basically you start masturbating until you feel like you're about to climax then stop and count to 100, then start again, slowly until you feel it start, then stop and count to 50, repeat again and this time count to 10, start again and this time carry on as fast as you like until you orgasm. I have tried this a few times and the result was a pretty amazing climax! It's worth a try :)

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    mysterio [sign in to see picture]
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    wildflower wrote:

    I read about recently that I've tried and it does work. Basically you start masturbating until you feel like you're about to climax then stop and count to 100, then start again, slowly until you feel it start, then stop and count to 50, repeat again and this time count to 10, start again and this time carry on as fast as you like until you orgasm. I have tried this a few times and the result was a pretty amazing climax! It's worth a try :)

    See this is where it gets really difficult for us men lol. I was once with a woman who would not want me to do something like this as I wanted to do to same thing by bringing her close to orgasms and than stopping for a bit and than do it again just to stop before she could orgasms just to make her orgasm really hard and i was told that i am putting her off and makng her angry and she would stop if i continue doing that.

    So no matter what we do its the men who gets in trouble in the end

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    Well the thing is everyone's different, what is great for some isn't so great for others. All a bit trial and error really although I think most women do appreciate a man who tries to please even if it doesn't always work

    1401637943
    Bubblesbutterfly [sign in to see picture]
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    I've asked repeatedly for longer foreplay but hes all for the wham bam thank you mam. Sex is very serious in our house. Not allowed to laugh during or mess around. That in itself is hard for me because basically im a bit of a tit and dont take anyting seriously, sex should be fun. and no matter how delicately i ask for longer foreplay or for him to stop playing with my clit in a certain way he takes it like ive just told him the skys orange. He's right and what hes doing i should obviously love.

    Im not botherd if he cant make me do it because hes not interested in doing it maybe once or twice a month.Wheras i dont go a day without having a feel once or twice. I do fanitse or watch something and normally use a cooling tingly gel (loooooooove) the timing thing sounds really good im gunna give that a try later and see.

    Lol that made me laugh mysterio :) i agree with wildflower though most women would appreciate you actually trying something different to have a bigger better orgasm i know i bloody would :)

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    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    Lol my oh drives me nuts when he does the timing thing!!

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