• secret anal masturbation

    1401281397
    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
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    does anybody have to masturbate anally in secret? Ive not had sex in 5 years as my wife doesnt like it. She also doesnt like toys so i have to have my fun when she is out , which isnt often

    1401287801
    DavidB1986 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi and Welcome to the forum.

    I am sorry to hear you have to resort to playing in secret, although I should imagine you aren't alone. Have you discussed with her, her reasons for not enjoying toys, or even sex? I know sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship, but for it to be completely non-existent leads me to believe there are larger issues that need to be dealt with.

    I'm not a relationship counsellor, but what I would say is talk with her. You shouldn't have to feel ashamed, or be forced to conduct things like that in secret. I would imagine if she found out, she might be upset by it as well.

    Talk with her. It's the best thing to do right now. It sounds like you've been married for a while, so I would hope that communicating with each other still comes easily.

    I wish you all the best.

    1401294388
    Lovehoney - Cazz [sign in to see picture]
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    DavidB1986 wrote:

    Hi and Welcome to the forum.

    I am sorry to hear you have to resort to playing in secret, although I should imagine you aren't alone. Have you discussed with her, her reasons for not enjoying toys, or even sex? I know sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship, but for it to be completely non-existent leads me to believe there are larger issues that need to be dealt with.

    I'm not a relationship counsellor, but what I would say is talk with her. You shouldn't have to feel ashamed, or be forced to conduct things like that in secret. I would imagine if she found out, she might be upset by it as well.

    Talk with her. It's the best thing to do right now. It sounds like you've been married for a while, so I would hope that communicating with each other still comes easily.

    I wish you all the best.

    +1 Very good advice there, as always from David x

    1401297436
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    the mechanic wrote:

    does anybody have to masturbate anally in secret? Ive not had sex in 5 years as my wife doesnt like it. She also doesnt like toys so i have to have my fun when she is out , which isnt often

    Hi Mechanic, so sorry to here your situation. But welcome to the forums and I hope we can help.

    There are many questions that come to mind. Why doesn't she like sex, why are you embarrassed? You don't need to answer them but it's tough to give advice or try and help with so little to work with.

    For me you must talk to her in five years things may of changed all so you are a man and you have needs. Even if she doesn't want sex can she not give you a little hand relief. Is there still love in your relationship? Most people in a relationship even if they don't or can't have sex are happy to do something for there OH. If this is not the case for you then you have to tell her you want some sort of release ,so she will either have to allow you the time and privacy or help with it.

    I do not think this is to much to ask or expect. I am assuming it is your house to and you should be able to have this without being embarrassed.

    I hope you have a good out come. Please let us know have you get on.

    1401299160
    kayliixx [sign in to see picture]
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    DavidB1986 wrote:

    Hi and Welcome to the forum.

    I am sorry to hear you have to resort to playing in secret, although I should imagine you aren't alone. Have you discussed with her, her reasons for not enjoying toys, or even sex? I know sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship, but for it to be completely non-existent leads me to believe there are larger issues that need to be dealt with.

    I'm not a relationship counsellor, but what I would say is talk with her. You shouldn't have to feel ashamed, or be forced to conduct things like that in secret. I would imagine if she found out, she might be upset by it as well.

    Talk with her. It's the best thing to do right now. It sounds like you've been married for a while, so I would hope that communicating with each other still comes easily.

    I wish you all the best.

    +1 Is it that she definately doesnt like toys or does the idea scare her a little. I know when my ex suggested using toys to start with I had one for myself but had never thought of using it with someone. It took alot of time and building up before we started using them together. Now I can't get enough of toys and am building up a little collection. best of luck xx
    1401304642
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    I feel for you, I'm in the same boat but different in that we've talked, hubby knows I have toys but I don't flaunt them, he is non sexual now due to meds and ill health I have my toys and crushes, we also have lots of cuddles and laughs, please talk to her, if only to sort out medical issues if any, does she have fantasies or show any interest in any one on tv Yes daft way to start but it can get the ball rolling without being threatening good luck.

    1401316692
    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
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    hi thanks for all your kind words. Apart from the lack of sex everything else is good. i have tried talking to her many times but she wont talk about sex at all. I think she finds sex embarrassing , talking about it and having it. I sometimes feel ashamed after masturbating with the toys although beforehand its a huge turn on, even thinking about it is exciting. I am resigned to the fact of never having sex again but feel guilty about my solo activities

    1401318578
    kayliixx [sign in to see picture]
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    I may sound harsh here but if she genuinely doesnt want to have sex again then she needs to accept that you will play to get your relief. I have been single for just over a month and I am struggling to cope with the lack of sex, if it wasnt for my toys and solo play I would literally been ripping peoples heads off. So you shouldnt feel guilty, atleast your plating with toys and not another woman.

    If she is embarrassed then maybe it can be resolved with different approachs, no sex for a while but massages for each other or nights of cuddling infront of tv etc? X

    1401321887
    mysterio [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello and welcome to the forums.

    I can totally understand your situatioin as my wife is disabled with alot of medical issues and we dont get to play at all. Even when we use to, it was only once or twice a year. Now i have a son who suffers with disabilities as well and with all these things it can get really difficult and frustrating at times.

    Personally I dont see anything wrong with what you are doing. Male or female, we all got needs. Now when it comes to women, some like to orgasm by touching there clit, some like gspot. Some like bigger sizes and some are into smaller/average guys.

    Its the same with men, Some men like to wank and cum(I do that) but there are alot of men who would either touch there pspot or use a toy to make them cum. Even married straight males use toys for pspot stimulation so dont feel guilty about it.

    I cant give you advice on your relationship but honestly mate there is nothing wrong in what you are doing and nothing to feel quilty about. I have never done that but if i enjoyed it than i would probably use a toy like alot of men do so just enjoy the most you can without feeling bad.

    1401361658
    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi thanks again for all your kind words. Im almost 100% sure that she will never have sex again. Im not the type of person to cheat which means i fear i will never touch a womman sexually again. Im trying to not feel ashamed or bad about how i enjoy reaching orgasm .Ive kept all this bottled up for a very lpng time and its been affecting me. I have nobody to talk to any of this about so im really glad that all of you are kind enough to help , advise , talk and not judge me XX

    1401361845
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh Hun I feel so sorry for you :(
    You must love her a lot to stay with her knowing that.
    She should understand you have needs.
    Xx

    1401363812
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    the mechanic wrote:

    Hi thanks again for all your kind words. Im almost 100% sure that she will never have sex again. Im not the type of person to cheat which means i fear i will never touch a womman sexually again. Im trying to not feel ashamed or bad about how i enjoy reaching orgasm .Ive kept all this bottled up for a very lpng time and its been affecting me. I have nobody to talk to any of this about so im really glad that all of you are kind enough to help , advise , talk and not judge me XX

    Glad we could help I'll never have sex again with my hubby so understand enjoy your toys and fantasies if you have them. Hugs from one who understands completely.

    1401380096
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    the mechanic wrote:

    Hi thanks again for all your kind words. Im almost 100% sure that she will never have sex again. Im not the type of person to cheat which means i fear i will never touch a womman sexually again. Im trying to not feel ashamed or bad about how i enjoy reaching orgasm .Ive kept all this bottled up for a very lpng time and its been affecting me. I have nobody to talk to any of this about so im really glad that all of you are kind enough to help , advise , talk and not judge me XX

    You are very welcome and you must stop feeling ashamed. What you feel and how you need to relieve those feeling are all normal and natural. I implore to try one last time to speak to your wife as you feel such love for her in all the other ways and I assume she feels the same towards you. Then she should want to help you with your relief even if it's just manual and she stays clothed and nothing sexual for her. Is she deeply religious or something. Most women wouldn't do this to their loved ones, especially observatory look elsewhere for sexual relief.

    1401381183
    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
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    she is not religious at all and all is medically ok. When i attempt to talk to her she changes the subject. I have asked her for relief but she says maybe one day and then talks about other stuff. I do love her though. Talking to you all is helping me to realise that im not alone and that my desires are natural , and not to feel ashamed of myself

    1401381843
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    the mechanic wrote:

    she is not religious at all and all is medically ok. When i attempt to talk to her she changes the subject. I have asked her for relief but she says maybe one day and then talks about other stuff. I do love her though. Talking to you all is helping me to realise that im not alone and that my desires are natural , and not to feel ashamed of myself

    Never feel ashamed those urges are natural no your not alone. I'm planning a special night the first ep of Dr who, like a date night for me, with underwear nibbles the lot, please take care you have the right to be happy and satisfied.

    1401383585
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    the mechanic wrote:

    she is not religious at all and all is medically ok. When i attempt to talk to her she changes the subject. I have asked her for relief but she says maybe one day and then talks about other stuff. I do love her though. Talking to you all is helping me to realise that im not alone and that my desires are natural , and not to feel ashamed of myself

    There is hope then maybe one day is huge. When is your birthday or Wedding Anniversary? Try maybe suggesting just once a month. My other suggestion is to write her a letter explaining how you feel about her love her and care for her, but you are a man and have a man's needs and if she could only see her way to giving you some hand relief you would feel cared for too.

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