• why cant I be more forward?

    1401496191
    mysterio [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 93
    • Joined: 13 May 2014

    pinkanimal wrote:

    Tried to talk last night.
    He waits for me to make a move.
    I wait for him
    Stalemate.
    Guess I need to just pluck up the courage

    Have you tried sending suggestive sms on his mobile phone?

    1401503552
    Mab [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 20
    • Joined: 3 Dec 2013

    I have the same issue. Practically no confidence, I am just a docile potato just waiting to for him to somehow get turned on and rock on over. Not an effective method at all...

    But to make things worse, I get turned down for taking the initiative. I have a bad habit of just jumping into things, following a pattern. The first time I took the initiative, after months of hoping he would react to sexy underwear, I did the classic get on top and kiss a lot. Success! However...after that it kind of stopped working. I would get turned down, I would start pestering him for sex - and honestly act in a way, where if I were a man, I could get into serious trouble. My self-esteem was at rock bottom. After a while of being turned down, I just gave up trying.

    I have talked to him loads about it, talked through all the different corners of the issue - he has a lower sex drive, I don't wear sexy clothes enough, he needs time to build up but he doesn't notice when I even try to initiate that process. It is a nightmare. Ideally, if he had his way, I would read his mind, know that sex is something he could possibly want, then saunter into the room wearing Agent Provocateur lingerie (which, even if I could afford, would never fit over my boobs), and procede to be the Belle du Jour. And I'm sorry Jim, but I just can't do that. It isn't me. Sure I love lingerie but sexy is not a look I am comfortable with. Not only that, but although objectively it is attractive on other women, the girls I preferred to date in the past were jogger wearing Bridget Jones Pants and a sports bra type of girl...and I find that sexy.

    All relationships involve comprimise. I love him, and I know we will work something out. But until I magically become size eight with Beyonce's thighs and boobs that aren't bigger than footballs, initiating sex is something I will limit to brave days.

    1401510167
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2472
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    pinkanimal wrote:

    Tried to talk last night.
    He waits for me to make a move.
    I wait for him
    Stalemate.
    Guess I need to just pluck up the courage

    Hi Again Pinky, just a thought it seems to me that you need a different angle to break this down. If you were horny and your OH wasn't there would you just reach for your favourite toy to satisfy your needs?

    Mind set change, try to think of your OH as your favourite sex toy and just reach for him when you want sex. It concerns me that this is turning into a game of dare to see who will break first. Defuse it quick before it gets any worse. Bite the bullet and just jump his bones. Take what you want and if he doesn't orgasm but you have get off and leave him high and dry, I bet he will soon chase you.

    I know this is a big ask confidence and things but it will pay dividends. Good luck keep posting.

    1401527739
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1470
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2012

    Can't quote on my phone.
    He isn't overly happy talking about intimate stuff including feelings.
    Can't send texts as his phones playing up.
    Seems like a game to him!
    This morning he played with my nipples, started to play with my clit and then stopped!!
    Pissed me off soo much!
    I got up lol.
    Yes gg I agree it's a game to see who can go longest.
    Thing is I lost my sex drive. I had to loose over a stone to find it!
    Now I have it I don't want to loose it again!
    I can't just disappear with toys as I have two kids.
    It's almost like he's paying me back for months of abstinence when I had no interest in it!!
    It's so nice to have somewhere to talk about this stuff x

    1401561351
    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 131
    • Joined: 28 May 2014

    I cant believe he started playing with you and then stopped. That is cruel and horrible. Have you been together long ? I know my wife hasn't touched me in 5 years but at least she doesn't tease me and then stop. Does he have erection probs that hes embarrassed about? I agree with you about it being nice to talk to people on here. I was ready to either explode or cry before talking to you all. Big hugs to you xx

    1401577654
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1470
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2012

    Ok so I was upstairs trying on clothes for my holiday and he came up and found me in my modest underwear lol (granny knickers lol)
    Long story short as I'm sure you don't want the dirty details we had sex lol.
    And he took charge!! Yay I finally had sex after days of wanting it!
    Downside is he didn't exactly finish me so I had to do that after he went back downstairs

    1401578098
    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 131
    • Joined: 28 May 2014

    thats a good start shame you ended up sorting yourself out though. Hopefully lots more to come x

    1401581157
    mysterio [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 93
    • Joined: 13 May 2014

    Its good that you two had sex and sorry that he couldnt finish you. Now i know you mentioned above that you had issues regarding the way you looked and your weight.
    It seems that your husband do want sex but might have lost confidence cause of all the lost time but only you two would have a better idea on that.
    Now i am i dont know if you could wear something which is full bodied but at the same time sexy, maybe the other women on the forums can guide you more towards them. I am not talking about gstrings or thongs but more like bum covering knickers but maybe a bit see through and sexy. That might rock his boat.

    1401609888
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1470
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2012

    More last night!
    And I took control and got my butt plug out!!
    Orgasms for everyone! Lol

    1401612400
    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 131
    • Joined: 28 May 2014

    good for you glad its all working out for you both

    1401646845
    Naked_butler [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 609
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2011

    Think of it as role play only noone knows you are playing. Imagine you are playing the part of some sexually confident woman (maybe angelina type chick) i hope this helps. If not at least noone knows you are doing it (dont put on an accent)

    1401654468
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1470
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2012

    Lol naked butler that did make me laugh!!!

    1401654773
    Naked_butler [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 609
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2011

    Allo mon cherie

    1401655143
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2472
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Way to go Pinky, has it given you a little more confidence to do it again?

    1401661715
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1470
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2012

    I guess yeah
    I dunno if I'm at the stage where I'll be waking him raring to go but I guess we shall see.
    Having this place helps.
    I can't talk about sex much with him and I daren't talk to any of my friends.
    Having this place really helps x

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.