• if i sent this to you...(OH of 3 years)

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    av_sc [sign in to see picture]
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    I really do think that you're the most naturally incredibly sexy man and I know you hate me saying it, but I'm thrilled to be with someone who's so perfectly formed.

    When I close my eyes and kiss you my body goes somewhere between totally relaxed and open to you and tight and I want to fucking ravish you x'

    Would your reaction be

    'thanks, my phone's running out of battery so I'm turning it off'

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    LilMissFrustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    Lol. Chill lovely. Im not going to say he's a man because Im hopeless at receiving compliments too! He'll be chuffed but won't know what to say in return. Just tell him not to speak but to show you in actions how he feels. Some people can express how they feel with words others can't. I know you'll feel gutted after what you said but please don't take it personally! Xx

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    av_sc [sign in to see picture]
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    But 3 years on...really??! X

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    LilMissFrustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    26 years on....really?!?!?! Trust me on this. Talk to him gently about how you feel and with training he will get better. Alternatively you could do what I used to do and go ape and have a massive argument that goes nowhere! Choice is yours. :-)

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    All he's Doing is letting you know his phone is out of battery so he can't carry on the dirty talk.
    Men don't have a hidden agenda usually...

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    chunkyg [sign in to see picture]
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    I'd be very happy 3 years into a realtionship if I received that! Only you know him though and only you can really guage how he will react :-)

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Depends on my mood and how alert I was. Maybe you'd get lucky and I'd spot that your intention was good. But more likely I'd react to the the reminder that you're doing something I hate (you say it directly) and also to the fact that you're doing it anyway.

    That's entirely normal, by the way. You're essentially setting him up to react negatively with the phrase "I know you hate me saying this".

    In order to process the rest of what you're saying, he'll have to think about something he already has very strong emotions around. What are most people likely to do in that situation? Most people will react first.

    So leave out the "I know you hate me saying this". I know you want it to show that you're trying to be understanding of his feelings, but that sort of phrasing usually has the opposite effect. Don't remind him that he hates what you're doing. That's just making it even easier for his thinking to go down that road.

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    malechauvinist [sign in to see picture]
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    If a woman sent me a text like that I'd be hers forever!

    Bit concerned by the "I know you hate me saying it" bit though. Why would you say something you know your OH hates...? Does he REALLY hate it?

    Tell you what, if your OH doesn't want them you're welcome to send those texts to me instead :-D

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    Hopelessly Horny [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't panic I know it hurts your feelings that your response was so seemingly cold... But like the rest have said he will be pleased by it just not sure how to respond to it. And rosehip has a very valid point don't highlight to him that it's something he hates, because instinctively he's then already wary and negative toward what you might be about to say. Sometimes men and women just can't verbalise their feelings and can come off as cold or uninterested, when that isn't actually the case they do better with showing you how they feel. Some are the opposite and are better with words than physical affection. Please don't take it too hard talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel.

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Out of context it sounds horrendous. My wife and I don't txt that often but when we do and they are similar to this one. We make a big effort to reply. However you have no idea what he is doing or the situation he is in right at that moment. Don't read to deep into it, just ask gently was he busy or was something else going on because you felt a little put down by it.

    We have very poor signal and there are times when both of us are unable to use a mobile at work. So sometimes you think of and send a similar txt as yours , looking forward to a reply and it just doesn't come. Later at home we ask each other and it just wasn't possible to reply. So the fact that he has responded but not in the way you would like isn't as bad as you think. We do this and we've been married for 25 years. I think you are just over thinking it.

    It was a lovely txt to send though. Don't be put of sending more.

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    MattB [sign in to see picture]
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    To be honest, a text like that probably deserves a well-thought-out reply and it may well be that he felt that he felt he couldn't do it justice with against the clock with his battery running out.

    I would make the effort to let you (her) know how much it meant to me once I got the chance though... Have you communicated since?

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh sorry. Eyes are wonky today and I misread the end. Stupid stupid fibro. :-( I thought you were asking for advice before you sent it. Probably best I give up for the day.

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    FrozenAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    Personally I think it's hard to add a comment on here in regards to the reaction your BF gave. It all depends on the type of relationship you both have and what usual comments you give. Comments for different texts from my OH range from

    "Get"

    "Really Babe, you know I'm out with my friends now. GET"

    "Hawt... Phone dead gtg"

    To being more welcoming. The responses he will get off me range from

    "GET"

    "Aw my big manly man"

    "Are you kidding me; you know I'm busy be gone oh wretched man"

    But that's the realtionship we have; we joke about none of those comments are in any way offensive to the other one and are all said in jest and light spirits.

    Obviously what your OH has said to you as a response has upset you; as others have said it may have just been a case of his phone battery dying. All I can suggest is you talk to him and let him know how you felt about that and find out what he was thinking. Otherwise it may just eat you up and create a situation that wasn't even there to begin with.

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    Mr Frustration [sign in to see picture]
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    Grief ac_sv. If my wife of 31 years sent that to me I'd be over the moon. There's no time limit on being sexy! And I'd reply in no uncertain terms, too!

    But you got THAT reply? Wow. Just...wow. I guess he didn't really register it. Mind elsewhere? Maybe best not to read too much into it. When folks are out and about other stuff clogs up their mental arteries.

    I wish my wife would text me like that. Sadly she has difficulty even switching on her phone let alone texting on it. Oh well...!

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    theCarnalCouple [sign in to see picture]
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    quoted wrong post, see below :)

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    theCarnalCouple [sign in to see picture]
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    Sum Sub wrote:

    All he's Doing is letting you know his phone is out of battery so he can't carry on the dirty talk.
    Men don't have a hidden agenda usually...

    ^^ This ^^

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    Mox Ruby [sign in to see picture]
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    av_sc wrote:

    But 3 years on...really??! X

    It's almost four years for us and I've *never* done this because I know it would go just the same! I know he loves me and finds me attractive, but I think he's got a mental block when it comes to dirty talk. He's also very self-conscious about himself, or at least refutes every single compliment I give him. Another reason I'm scared of doing this, even though I've thought of it, is that he'd be mortified if anyone saw. And with a smartphone, it's entirely possible that someone near him gets a glance at it too.
    I know something that seems like a rejection can be really hurtful, even when they don't mean it. Trust me, I know what it's like. We've been stressed lately with his work stuff and are just coming out of a dry spell. It'll get better- either bring it up with him, ask him what he thought of it and if he'd prefer you don't do it again. Getting my guy to admit that I've done something wrong is like pulling teeth sometimes, because I think he is worried I'll take it personally. But honesty really is the best policy, and one he has out with it, whatever the issue is is so much easier to deal with.
    Are you sure we're not somehow married to the same man?! ;)

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