• Boyfriend no longer seems interested in sex with me :(

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    Gemgem87 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think my boyfriend is no longer attracted to me, and it's really getting me down. I know he still has "urges" because he still watches porn and still masturbates, but if I try to get involved with him he seems to prefer watching TV or playing computer games.

    We don't have a boring sex life, or we didn't up until it seemed to just stop for no reason about two months ago. Since then we've only been intimate a handful of times, and it isn't down to me!

    Don't really know why I'm posting this really, think I'm just having a moan because it's getting frustrating and I don't really know what to do about it!

    1400958760
    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    It's really easy for loads of us to give oh advice and suggestions, which may be useful, but may not be useful at all. You could waste all your time trying thing after thing that these strangers have told you to try, and it might not work out and make you more stressed out about it.

    The best thing you can possibly do is talk to him, communication is key! You need to tell him everything that you've told us and ask him what's really going on. We don't know him, and can't get inside his mind like you can. You need a sit down and a really good talk and really get to the bottom of things.

    I hope you figure things out soon x

    1400963487
    BigBikeGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    Can't really offer any advice other than talk to him... It'll help in the long run, try and avoid getting into an argument. Good luck.

    1400963867
    KarlsGirl78 [sign in to see picture]
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    I went through exactly the same thing, computer games ruled the world, I still curse BF3 to this day, all you can do is talk it through or just turn off the socket to his PC. You need to talk though and get it all out in the open so that the problem can be sorted out.

    saying nothing the problem will just get worse; trust me

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    Wildcherry [sign in to see picture]
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    Chastity78 wrote:

    I went through exactly the same thing, computer games ruled the world, I still curse BF3 to this day, all you can do is talk it through or just turn off the socket to his PC. You need to talk though and get it all out in the open so that the problem can be sorted out.

    saying nothing the problem will just get worse; trust me

    Personally, having a partner who loves his PC.. i wouldnt turn the socket off to his PC or any other gaming device for that matter. I think thats only going to agrovated the situation and cause more arguements.

    I can only echo what everyone else has said, only you know your partner so its a little difficult for me or anyone else to say what to do exactly, but talk to him and let him know how its making you feel and how the solo materbating and porn watching is upsetting you.

    There might be more to this than you think, it could be down to stress or a little loss of self confidence on his side but you honestly wont find the answer until you sit down and have a talk. If its any easier write a letter/text/email when hes in work as sometimes its hard to do these things face to face without it ending in an arguement.

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    Annsie [sign in to see picture]
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    Chastity78 wrote:

    I went through exactly the same thing, computer games ruled the world, I still curse BF3 to this day, all you can do is talk it through or just turn off the socket to his PC. You need to talk though and get it all out in the open so that the problem can be sorted out.

    saying nothing the problem will just get worse; trust me

    Seconding what Wildcherry said, DO NOT turn the socket to his PC off. That's just asking to start an argument when the situation really only calls for a heart to heart conversation.

    I doubt the problem is a loss of attraction, since you said you've had had sex a few times - just not as often in the past 2 months. Definitely talk to your partner, and explain that the lack of intimacy is bothering you. You could even show him this post if you think it'll be hard to talk to him about it.

    1400969213
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    MrsMcX wrote:

    It's really easy for loads of us to give oh advice and suggestions, which may be useful, but may not be useful at all. You could waste all your time trying thing after thing that these strangers have told you to try, and it might not work out and make you more stressed out about it.

    The best thing you can possibly do is talk to him, communication is key! You need to tell him everything that you've told us and ask him what's really going on. We don't know him, and can't get inside his mind like you can. You need a sit down and a really good talk and really get to the bottom of things.

    I hope you figure things out soon x

    +1 I totally agree with what Mrs has said. You really do know him better than anyone and really need to sit down and have a long talk with him. Communication really is key. I do hope you can get some answers and find a way to get past this together xx

    1400975724
    Andipopandi [sign in to see picture]
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    What MrsMcX said.
    Communication and honesty is key. Sit him down for a cup of Tea and have a chat.

    Good luck.

    1400979632
    malechauvinist [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm gonna come at this from a different viewpoint - because I'm normally the boyfriend who ends up 'losing interest', or so the perception often is from my OHs.

    So far (and this has been my mistake, one which I swear to fucking god I'm not repeating any more) but up til now it's been my custom to indulge in the whole petty, childish 'man should chase the girl' mentality. So I've done that.

    Trouble is, girl always ends up taking that as a sign that she doesn't have to make any effort. She doesn't have to ever ASK ME if I want to go out for dinner...doesn't have to kiss me without provocation just because she wants to...doesn't have to text me out of the blue to tell me she's thinking of me and instead always waits for me to be the one to text etc.

    Yep, after a while, I get bored. I want just one goddamn time for the generic 'her' to do something to show me our relationship means something, instead of it always being me. Hell, it doesn't have to be a lot. Maybe she could just go "Hey do you fancy a nice romantic meal out tonight?" or "This is for you just because I love you" accompanied by some random gift she picked up for £1 somewhere, or even just jumping me passionately just because she wants ME. I do those things. Women never do. Yes, I get bored.

    NOW...IMPORTANT!! I am not for one moment insinuating that you don't do things for your boyfriend. No doubt you probably do...under the 'good ones are always taken' concept. And if that's the case then please completely disregard everything I've written as it's completely irrelevant to you. You probably do all that stuff and more.

    But if you don't...could that be it?

    Not only am I a person who speaks/types first and thinks later, but I am also writing this after 2 glasses of wine. So I'm sorry if it makes little sense. Everyone though is coming at this from the whole 'sit down and talk' angle, but I would love to think that you've already done that...it's kind of a no-brainer really. So yeah, this is just my lil take on it from the point of view of the bloke who always gets accused of being 'disinterested'.

    In short, bloody pounce on him. If that doesn't work, find a man who IS interested. Trust me, there will be plenty out there!

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    Mr Frustration [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't pull the plug on the game. He's trying to say something and doing it in "dumb man" mode. I'd go with the take a walk, a coffee and chat approach.

    1401284396
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    malechauvinist wrote:

    I'm gonna come at this from a different viewpoint - because I'm normally the boyfriend who ends up 'losing interest', or so the perception often is from my OHs.

    So far (and this has been my mistake, one which I swear to fucking god I'm not repeating any more) but up til now it's been my custom to indulge in the whole petty, childish 'man should chase the girl' mentality. So I've done that.

    Trouble is, girl always ends up taking that as a sign that she doesn't have to make any effort. She doesn't have to ever ASK ME if I want to go out for dinner...doesn't have to kiss me without provocation just because she wants to...doesn't have to text me out of the blue to tell me she's thinking of me and instead always waits for me to be the one to text etc.

    Yep, after a while, I get bored. I want just one goddamn time for the generic 'her' to do something to show me our relationship means something, instead of it always being me. Hell, it doesn't have to be a lot. Maybe she could just go "Hey do you fancy a nice romantic meal out tonight?" or "This is for you just because I love you" accompanied by some random gift she picked up for £1 somewhere, or even just jumping me passionately just because she wants ME. I do those things. Women never do. Yes, I get bored.

    NOW...IMPORTANT!! I am not for one moment insinuating that you don't do things for your boyfriend. No doubt you probably do...under the 'good ones are always taken' concept. And if that's the case then please completely disregard everything I've written as it's completely irrelevant to you. You probably do all that stuff and more.

    But if you don't...could that be it?

    Not only am I a person who speaks/types first and thinks later, but I am also writing this after 2 glasses of wine. So I'm sorry if it makes little sense. Everyone though is coming at this from the whole 'sit down and talk' angle, but I would love to think that you've already done that...it's kind of a no-brainer really. So yeah, this is just my lil take on it from the point of view of the bloke who always gets accused of being 'disinterested'.

    In short, bloody pounce on him. If that doesn't work, find a man who IS interested. Trust me, there will be plenty out there!

    you do make sense.

    a lot of sense to me actually.

    May indicate why I'm having issues lately too.

    But I do lack the confidence to "pounce"

    1401638992
    Naked_butler [sign in to see picture]
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    If you catch him wanking over porn and offer to join in, help him out etc...wat happens

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