• What does the word Love mean to you?

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    MattB [sign in to see picture]
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    I'd say that truly unconditional love is only likely to be found in a parent/child relationship - I love my OH more than I could have imagined, but it is still conditional; there are plenty of things she could do to end it (or at the very least make me love her and hate her simultaneously)

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    Annsie [sign in to see picture]
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    No matter how I look at it, I just can't agree with you. I'm going to repeat myself, but just because you haven't had a partner who loved you unconditionally, and you loved them back equally or more...just because you haven't had a partner for a lifetime with an 'unending' love, doesn't mean other people haven't had it.

    Plenty of people have been with their partner since meeting each other young, getting married, having children, and dying together. Countless couples over the history of humanity have had 'unending' love.

    Personally, right now, I have never been more certain of anything more in my life than my UNCONDITIONAL love for my OH, and I respect your right to have an opinion, but I would also appreciate it if you didn't feel the need to discredit other people's emotions/opinions. I know how I feel, and just because you don't feel it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
    There is nothing he could do that would make me leave him or stop loving him, and I know he feels the same way. I would take a bullet for the boy, and he'd do the same for me.

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    malechauvinist [sign in to see picture]
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    flaneur wrote:

    Almost as amazing as how quickly they stop loving you when you run out of money and everyone else finally gets their own car. or when they've been with you long enough to leave with a "share" of your assets. Or they find someone even richer.

    I can closely relate to that!

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    MattB [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't get me wrong, I'd take a bullet for her without a moment's hesitation... but I can still imagine that I'd be re-evaluating how I felt if she cheated on me, for example.

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    Lou22 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think like MattB said I think there are certain things that can damage a relationship, even cause it to end like infidelity, violence so in that way it is perhaps conditional having said that if those things were to happen would the relationship end - maybe, would I stop loving him though? Probably not, feelings like that don't just disappear.

    Of course there are people out there that value money and status over other things and tell you they love you but I personally don't think things like that are what's important so would argue they're just lying to get what they want which isn't love at all and many of us will have been on the receiving end of that at one time or another.

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    DavidB1986 [sign in to see picture]
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    Love is still wanting to spend time with me, even after i've been a massive arse. 

    Love is not complaining even when i've played the same album over and over, and refuse to stop singing along to it. 

    Love is what gives me hope, that even in my darkest hour, there is always someone there for me. 

    Love is never being alone, or scared. 

    That's what love is to me. 

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    Lovehoney - Lucy [sign in to see picture]
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    Well said Annsie - opinions are great, and many people feel love doesn't exist (or is at most a chemical reaction). However, the majority of people do believe in love and we shouldn't discredit anyone for their opinions.

    I'd also like to make the point that if a relationship ends, it doesn't mean you didn't love each other. It's perfectly possible to fall out of love, and it's not necessarily a permanent thing. That's a very black-and-white view to have. My parents had 20 happy years together, before they separated on good terms. They both care a great deal for each other and they have two kids together. Their love is (and was) no less valid than a current love.

    Tracey Cox wrote an article about this and something she said stuck with me: 'Just because a relationship didn't last forever, doesn't mean it was a failure'. And she's so right - my parents relationship isn't 'failed', it came to its natural end.

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    Alastor [sign in to see picture]
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    One of the main reasons for the diversity of views advanced on love, is cogently explained by Nietzsche when he examined the idea of punishment, which likewise suffered an accretion of ideas over time:

    "all concepts in which an entire process is semiotically concentrated elude definition; only that which has no history is definable."

    Concerning the emotion as bio-chemical reaction trope: this would be accurate, but all thought and emotion is just that anyway, and what we experience as consciousness bears little relation to the competing processes that determine our actions and experience.

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    flaneur [sign in to see picture]
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    malechauvinist wrote:

    I can closely relate to that!

    Ah maybe that's because you've experienced the same "love" that I have. I guess that makes us special. 

    It seems like some people have a problem with me not seeing love as being so special. Those of you who do have nice healthy relationships good for you I'm very happy for you. I don't have a current relationship therefore I don't have an unconditional love. The "loves" of the past can remain in the past and the bridges can be burned.

    Annsie wrote:

    Personally, right now, I have never been more certain of anything more in my life than my UNCONDITIONAL love for my OH, and I respect your right to have an opinion, but I would also appreciate it if you didn't feel the need to discredit other people's emotions/opinions. I know how I feel, and just because you don't feel it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

    There is nothing he could do that would make me leave him or stop loving him, and I know he feels the same way. I would take a bullet for the boy, and he'd do the same for me.

    Just one question. You and your relationship has got nothing to do with me and my opinion on the word "love" will never change anything about it. Why do you feel the need to defend the validity of your relationship?

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    Annsie [sign in to see picture]
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    Lucy, I totally agree! No one ever said that love HAS to be permanent, unconditional, and perfect - well, except maybe some dead poets and writers.

    It's an emotion. People experience emotions differently, and to different effect. Unrequited love is also a thing - just because the feeling isn't returned, it doesn't mean that the original emotion doesn't exist.

    flaneur, maybe you have experienced love. Just because it wasn't unconditional and unending, doesn't mean it wasn't love.

    Just one question. You and your relationship has got nothing to do with me and my opinion on the word "love" will never change anything about it. Why do you feel the need to defend the validity of your relationship?

    "For those of you saying that just I think like this because I haven't experienced "love" That's because you don't know what love is." 

    I found that rude. Pretty much it. Why wouldn't I feel the need to validate my relationship when someone's essentially calling it bullshit? Of course I'm going to defend my feelings/opinion. 

    Personally, I know this is going to sound awful, and I've never felt like this before, but my love for my OH is unconditional. I wouldn't leave him even if he cheated on me, and I know he wouldn't leave me in the same situation (hypothetically speaking, neither scenario is going to happen).

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    Cheap&Easy [sign in to see picture]
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    I love cake

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    Suzywong [sign in to see picture]
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    For me its something that is deep and long lasting… It does not have to be said every 5 mins either… if you love someone they should know and so should you. The fact that someone has to keep telling you dilutes the meaning of it and tends to say to me that they are not sure of how they feel because they maybe need re-assurance off you by means of a acknowledgement or a ‘I love you too’ back….

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